The bible says, “take heed what you hear”; ever come across that before? I know I have.
Based on the three stories I’m going to share below though, perhaps for both males and females, we can/ should introduce “take heed, who you marry”.
Before then, am I married myself? No; matter of fact I’m single (so we can get that out of the way early).
Ready to share 3 stories with me? Without messing the facts up, I’ll try to protect the identities of all three couples (Or ex-couples)
- Boy meets girl who is in her late 20’s and under a bit of pressure by her married siblings and of course her folks. Therefore, she ‘allows’ a lot if things and her family foots the bill minus (N15, 000/ $90) that the guy contributes to the entire preparations. Less than a year later, he’s moved out of her house (where she pays rent) because amongst other things she’s not ‘submissive’, and her family has returned the dowry they collected. The End.
- Boy meets high-flyer type chic, get married, have a beautiful daughter. Husband invests the Mrs.’ money (huge sums) in a string of failed deals/leads. Of course they start to have problems, wife starts to suffer emotionally and at the peak of their trouble (when he stops her from seeing their daughter for a period of time) she develops high blood pressure, and is said to be acting ‘weird’. At the time I wrote this, she’d been buried less than 10days ago
- Boy meets girl and everyone thinks they’re a gorgeous couple except the ones who knew the inner workings of the relationship. She hits him, continuously, ridiculing him sometimes in the presence of his friends; did I mention they were engaged to be married? Man snapped one day and called it off. Now she says he ‘used’ her, and has wasted her time.
Three stories done. Might seem like it’s all doom and gloom ladies and gentlemen, but I promise you it’s not. For each of those tragic stories, I promise you there are ten, hundreds and thousands of success stories around. Even better, you have friends and family with super successful marriages, so you’ll agree it’s not a myth.
I stumbled across a blog today (dunno how I didn’t hear about them before)- Naijahusband.com where a man and his wife (Naijawife) chronicle the ups and downs, happy and not so happy times in their marriage. Not a hundred percent sure it’s a real life or brilliant scripting but you should have a look. Really interesting stuff there!
Also, I read somewhere once that marrying the wrong person is not only hell on earth, but will lead you to hell because of the amount of mistakes/missteps you will make.
Ladies (especially), no pressure at all. Don’t let anyone put you under pressure, and don’t do it to yourself too (I know about self-inspired pressure don’t worry). When he comes, he will come. There’ll be no shadow of doubt.
Guys too, no pressure, whether from family/peers or self-imposed. When you meet the ‘her’ that God designed for you, trust me you’ll know.
Who best to confirm your choice than The One who created you two? Get on your knees ladies and gentlemen, and ask Him to bring them to you! And He will!
While you wait, improve yourself, strengthen /solidify your relationship with your God (who is your first love ANYWAY), and have fun!
PS – Written on the 12th of July.