CAIRO!!! WHOOP!!!

Ok!! So, the correct progression of my christmas travels is London to Cairo, had a one hour stop over then it was Cairo to Abuja. Spent a lovely Christmas in Nigeria touching Lagos, Asaba, Calabar, and Abuja (of course), then it was time to head back and that birthed the Abuja to Cairo post! Didn’t do a Cairo back to London post (no need, was pretty uneventful) but I definitely did a Cairo post. It’s this one!! Whoop!!

Ok, so following up from the Abuja to Cairo post, I woke up about 7am, refreshed from a long, peaceful night’s rest. Told myself I would have a shower and then go down for breakfast; next thing I knew it was 9am and I was still struggling to open my second eye.

30 minutes late I was in the breakfast room, and the only thing I can say is that Egyptians eat some really weird things!! I can imagine that’s what they’d say about some of our traditional stuff too though; I remember one of my English friends calling my delicious meal of eba and okro soup ‘dodgy’…. said the okro soup was ‘slimy’. Lol!

Anyways, Breakfast was lovely though, and my omelette was on point!! Kinda torn between who does eggs better now, me or them! I think it’s me though, has to be me…

Spent a few minutes in the travel shop in the hotel, and I saw this collage of notes I just had to take pictures of! Hopefully my picture is clear enough for me to ask you to do me a favor, find your home currency, or tell me how many currencies you can identify! Ready? Go!

Look!

look!

Look!

Speaking of money, the night I got in, I changed $100 at one of the banks at the airport. I didn’t count what he gave me back, and I was so tired all I heard was ‘something something 48 Egyptian Pounds; it was in the shop in the hotel I found out he had given me 648 Egyptian Pounds! So now you know the exchange rate, and I was happy I had a bit of spending money!

Bought two vials of Egyptian oil scents, mixes of Nefertiti, Horsi, vanilla, and something that had a wood/cigar smell, can’t remember the name now. They smelled amazing individually, but the mix was just on point!! I should patent it or something…

My new mash-up collection…. Can’t wait to start using them!

We wrapped up nicely because it was a really chilly morning, and then went out on a tour of the city! Went to the River Nile first; there’s a major drainage issue with the roads because the little bit of rain that morning and everywhere was literally flooded! Not flooded washing away houses kind of flooded o, just a level of water above the road. Not good. And all the cars I saw were filthy!

Headed through inner city streets to the pyramids, the best part of the tour for me!! Below are ten of my best pictures; I’ll find time to upload all the rest to my Flickr or something…

Olameday, Hannah and I at the River Nile…

Keke napep!! Whoop!!

KFC and Pizza Hut… bet all the meat is halal!!

One of the three pyramids….

Another favorite!

Loved this!!! My favorite picture!!

Riding in the carriage!!

@Olameday and I!

Our tour guide….

Lol!!! Crazy driver he was!!

One of the many statues I saw…. Nice!

Ran into some epic traffic on the drive back to the hotel but we made it, and rushed through lunch. I got royally ticked off by some other Nigerians (babies in adult bodies, SMH), but got it together enough to be civil.

Got to the airport, we were already checked in so I retrieved my passport and it was of to board!

Wait!! On the way to our boarding gate, @Olameday and I couldn’t help stopping by the Haagen Daz counter? Want to see what I got?

Waffles, vanilla and chocolate chip ice cream! Whoop!

Ok, back to the plane now. Yep, I slept, almost as soon as the plane took off.

Cairo was fun!! I pray for them today, that they sort out their issues and truly experience the all-inclusive democracy they desire. Amen.

ABUJA to CAIRO…..

All good things come to an end right? It came to pass that on a certain day, the return leg of my London-Abuja ticket became valid. Therefore, it was time to kiss Nigeria good-bye and head back to cold, loveless London.

That morning, I gave my darling Boo Boo a bath, prepped him for crèche (yes he goes to crèche and he has a book too), and then I got myself ready. I sped to my hairstylist’s to change my nail varnish (only I can tell why I left it till the day I was to travel) and when I’d waited for 20 minutes after the time I’d agreed we’d meet, I put the car in reverse to leave. As an aside, why do people tick you off intentionally, and then beg? Why?

Next stop was at my aunt’s, tailor was supposed to meet me there. I agree with the person who told me that my relationship with the tailor existed because I enjoyed a certain level of sadomasochism, i.e. causing myself pain. Of course he didn’t bring everything he was supposed to bring,  but that’s content for a totally different blog post!

Ran off to my sister’s to kiss her good-bye (we were both very brave), remember wiping a tear when I drove past Boo Boo’s crèche; only  reason I didn’t go in there was I knew I’d cry myself into changing the date of my flight!

By this time I’d gotten like three calls from my Dad asking if I was checked in at the airport, and errrrr, it was just past 10am. For a 1.30pm flight? And with benefit of hindsight, I don’t think I will ever bust my behind to be early for an Egypt Air flight, they are always at least 20 minutes late.

Anyway, so I got to the airport, checked in (no I wasn’t upgraded, silly people) and then I left the International wing for Aero’s Departure Lounge. It houses Biobak, and I’d been craving their food since the last time I was there.

One plate of rice and catfish later, I was back in our lounge. We boarded by 2pm, and again, Egypt Air didn’t have personal entertainment systems! Are they even allowed to do that?? Arrrgh!! And this was a 737-200! Anyway, brilliant thing about the airline is they let you use ANY electronic device once the plane’s up in the air. So I watched movies on my laptop, did some work, and then I slept.

All of this happened after I had bawled majorly! You know, I say that each time I leave will be different but nooooo.., I have to cry each and every time I leave. I should just come back and never leave again abi? Lol. Sometimes I think of myself as that parent who will form ‘strong face’ as they drop their kid off at boarding school, then cry all the way home. *sigh*

Got to Cairo about 8pm, stop over was about 21 hours; on purpose because I’d sworn I’d spend a day in Cairo. Had to sit and wait a bit while they sorted us into hotels based on our onward journey times the next day. I got Le Meridien, somewhere in town; by the way there are about five Le Meridien’s in Cairo.

Finally got to the hotel about 11pm, and I’d made two friends, Hannah and Miss @Olameday! Settled in to dinner, and it was a hilarious time, swapping tales of adventures in hotels! Smiling at the thought! Learnt from @Olameday that you’re more likely to get better service if you address the waiter by name; that’s how we got our meals changed!

Couple of things to note if you plan to plan a 21 hour stopover in Cairo:

• no need to buy the $15 dollar visa. The airport officials hold on to your passport anyway so technically you don’t need it.
• Everyone will try to fleece you of some money (but I guess that’s a normal issue all tourists face); don’t be afraid to haggle. More on this point in the ‘Cairo’ post.
• Their sockets are different from the ones in Nigeria.

ah ha… this is what it looks like… Take a travel adapter! Even though the hotel staff were nice enough to hand out adapters, and then helped me charge all my stuff when they ran out of adapters… Bless them.

After dinner I stayed in the lobby to chat with Ace via wi-fi, then it was off to my ‘LAN only’ cabled room for a good night’s rest, and dreams filled with flashbacks of the extra special Christmas I had.

Related articles

• Cairo to Abuja (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)
• My Trip to Abuja – Lessons and Discoveries (naijaspleen.wordpress.com)
• Abuja Stadium – Abuja, Nigeria (dailytrackpic.wordpress.com)
• London to Cairo (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)

CAIRO TO ABUJA

Catch up on the London to Cairo trip gist here. I advise that you go read that one, and then come back for this one. Ok?

So, I got to our departure gate thirty minutes to the time, making me one of the first people to board the bus taking us to the tarmac. Can I say the distance between the departure lounge and the tarmac is almost a trip in itself? I enjoyed it anyway, and I took a few pictures too!

Ok, so we boarded and the first thing I noticed was there were no personal entertainment systems on the plane. What??? On a 4 hours plus flight? Egypt Air just disgraced me there abeg. SMH! SMH (again, for good measure).

Since I was already feeling poorly (something I ate on the first leg of the trip had destroyed the peaceful equilibrium in my belly), I decided to sleep. Thank God there was a seat between a lady and I, and shout out to her for saving me a slice of cake, waking me up when it was lunch time, and even keeping a landing card for me! Quick question; do citizens of other countries have to fill out landing cards for their own countries? Just curious.

A bit of tatafo (gist) here that I didn’t include in the London to Cairo post. There was this lady who kept brandishing a British passport on every queue we were on. Started from the queue by the Immigration desk, she had the ‘red kpali’ in her hand, hand on her waist, and was probably playing ‘change your style’ in her head. She gets to the desk, brings out her Nigerian passport to be stamped, puts it back in her bag, and then continues with the flashing. We get to the last security check before heading for our gates. Apparently she’d been ‘almost strip searched’ like me so we got there about the same time. Again she brought out the Nigerian passport, got it scanned, and then whipped out the British passport again. Thought about it a few times since I got back; noticed she didn’t chat with anyone (I didn’t either) so what was all of that for? Did I miss something?

Anyway, I hated the second leg of the flight; I was so uncomfortable, nausea got worse with each passing minute, and it was all I could do not to cry, especially when the pilot announced that the temperature in Abuja was 37 degrees. What??? That’s 34 more than I left at the beginning of this entire trip!

Touched down safely (thank you Jesus), and as soon as we did the walk (IN THE SUN) from the plane to Arrivals, I started to retch. Made it to a safe spot and threw up everything even remotely connected to Egypt Air in my system.

Was doubled over (literally) in pain in the queue at Immigration and I’m very grateful to the officer who came over, took me to a seat, and then helped me sort out my passport. God bless you.

Ride home was uneventful. Tired and uncomfortable as I was though, soon as I saw my darling nephew Boo Boo, like Jacob in the Bible when he saw his son Joseph, my spirit revived! It’s good to be home! Thank God for a safe trip, for healing (I’m a lot better now), and for family!

Whoop!

Related articles

• London to Cairo (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)
• In Cairo, a Hint of Compromise – Wall Street Journal (online.wsj.com)
• Climbing that mountain (bellylorna.blogspot.com)
• The Lede Blog: Cairo Filmmakers Screen Images of Revolt on the President’s Wall (thelede.blogs.nytimes.com)
• A ‘Global Lens’ on Egypt (cnsblog.wordpress.com)
• ‘Men don’t have to worry about being caught’: Sex mobs target Egypt’s women (worldnews.nbcnews.com)
• My Trip to Abuja – Lessons and Discoveries (naijaspleen.wordpress.com)

3, 2, 1 INTERVIEWS: CONGRATULATIONS CHIKA!

She’s brilliant! She’s pretty! She’s down to earth, she signs her emails ‘Egbe belụ Ugo belụ …’, she’s a mom (four times over), She’s a poet, an author (writes in English and Dutch), and her works have been broadcast on BBC World Service, Radio Nigeria, and other Commonwealth Radio Stations. She’s Chika Unigwe, winner of the Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) Prize for literature and my guest on the 3, 2, 1 Interview series!

I love her locks! Love, love, love em!

D Fairy GodSister: Play back Friday the 2nd of November for me, what were you up to one hour before you heard you had won?

Chika Unigwe: I was online (or on the phone, I forget which) with my friend, Elnathan John who was sending someone to the Press conference. He wished me luck. Then I left for Mass

D Fairy GodSister: Ok, were you concentrating at Mass? Or were you sneaking peeks at your phone?

Chika Unigwe: I was very nervous and having something to take my mind off it was very good. I left earlier than normal. I left my phone at home. I didn’t want to be tempted to check calls so I switched it off and left it at home. I tried very hard to concentrate. I told myself, whatever happens. I’ll still write. I wanted to win, but did not expect to.

D Fairy GodSister: Good call!

Chika Unigwe: We lost a number of family members on my husband’s part this year, so All Saints Mass this year was significant for us.

D Fairy GodSister: I’m sorry about that. *hugs*

Chika Unigwe: Thanks. they lived good lives, and in 3 cases, we got to say goodbye; you can’t ask for more than that. Two were in a fit enough state for us to thank for what they meant to us while they lived. The children got to say thanks.

D Fairy GodSister: My condolences again. Ok, you said you told yourself you’d still write regardless of how it went. On the flip side, did you fantasize about what you’d do with the money?

Chika Unigwe: No. My mind would not go there. I just thought, ‘it’d be really nice to win this!’ but I never thought as far as what I’d do with the money. It still hasn’t sunk in yet.

D Fairy GodSister: Ha ha ha…. Have I said congratulations? Maybe that’ll help!

Chika Unigwe: Haha. Thanks!

D Fairy GodSister: $100, 000… Might not be in the bank already but if you don’t mind, three things you’ll do with it?

Chika Unigwe: I’d like to give back to Nigeria. I don’t know how yet. My secondary school, FGGC Abuja, has a library in need of books, my car is breaking down and needs replacement, and number 3: my children have a long wish list

D Fairy GodSister: Ha ha ha!!! Bless them! How did they take the news that Mommy had won?

Chika Unigwe: They are very happy. My youngest is 6, so I don’t know how much of it he understands, but he’s been telling people, ‘My mama won a prize for writing a book. The best book.’

D Fairy GodSister: That’s all that matters, his mama wrote the best book! Let’s go back in time a bit, how/when did you start writing?

Chika Unigwe: I have always loved scribbling. I self published a collection of poetry in my 2nd year. For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a writer. Luckily, my parents supported that dream. They filled our home with books, subscribed us to literary magazines in the US and and Nigeria; and when I asked at 13 during a holiday to the village for a typewriter to type out my poems and stories, my father went and borrowed one for me for the duration of that long vacation.

D Fairy GodSister: Thank God for our parents right? So, what inspires you? And how do you deal with writers block?

Chika Unigwe :Everything inspires me. Conversations with people, overheard conversations in public, stories in the news, life. Writers Block? I don’t know that I deal with them effectively. I just stare at my computer….

D Fairy GodSister: Lola.…… Was expecting some magic formula!

Chika Unigwe: I wish I had some. LOL. I sometimes also go to Facebook and read peoples’ updates…

D Fairy GodSister: We’re winding down now….. Have you always had your hair locked?

Chika Unigwe: No. I started when I became pregnant with my youngest. I realized I would not have as much time to get my hair braided. I loved long, tiny braids, but with a new baby on the way, I knew it would be difficult to make out time for that. I wanted something easy to maintain.

D Fairy GodSister:They look lovely!

Chika Unigwe: thanks

D Fairy GodSister : If you had three wishes you were sure would come true, what would they be?

Chika Unigwe: world peace, my favourite uncle to be alive again, and equality of everyone: equal access to the world’s riches and resources.

D Fairy GodSister: Tell us about running for elective office; what was that experience like?

Chika Unigwe: Exhausting: meetings, campaigns, distributing flyers door to door, talking to people. Exhausting mostly

D Fairy GodSister: Would you do it again?

Chika Unigwe: Did it 3 times already, so chances are high that I’d do it again

D Fairy GodSister: Ok. Final question: what’s the biggest word of advice you’ve run with you’d like to leave with other writers?

Chika Unigwe: do not take criticism of your work as criticism of your person.

Thank you Chika for talking to me!! Now, how did you say we’re sharing that money again?

Related articles

• ‘On Black Sisters Street’ Wins NLNG prize (1pageweekly.wordpress.com)
• Chika Unigwe talks to ElNathan (1pageweekly.wordpress.com)

Related articles

• Featured Writter: NLNG Prize for literature for 2012 Winner, Chika Unigwe (ivorymodels.wordpress.com)
• Stanley Azuakola: the NLNG Prize Can Be So Much Bigger and Better (farafinabooks.wordpress.com)

Introducing The 419 Reasons To Love Nigeria Project!!

The Nigerian Coat of Arms

Dating far back to the 80’s, the term ‘419’ has associated Nigeria and Nigerians primarily with online financial scams – ‘Advance Fee Fraud’. Most unfortunately, the situation exacerbated to such an extent that the internet became overwhelmed with such negative news attributed to Nigeria.
In response to this, ‘The 419Positive Project’ was initiated, with an ambitious objective of generating four hundred and nineteen positive attributes about Nigeria and Nigerians. “If you could tell the world one remarkable thing about Nigeria and Nigerians, what would it be?” Furthermore, in Peter Reilly’s Forbes blog post (Aug 28, 2011), he suggested a similar intervention to his Nigerian audience – “Make lists of 419 reasons to like Nigeria and Nigerians…” His suggestion came as one remedial to his previous post (Nigerians Switching From Greed to Fear), after some Nigerians took exceptions to his views. Other online posts by Chika Uwazie, Nmachi Jidenma and Akin Akintayo, have further lent a voice in this regard.

Pulling these ideas and suggestions together, an online rebranding campaign is being furthered. The aim is clear – to consistently inundate the internet with positive Nigerian attributes, such that when anyone types in ‘419’ in a search engine, it yields positive commentary about Nigeria, irrespective of the pre-existing negativity. This drive is labelled 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria. Awareness is currently being ramped up online, with the topic having trended on Twitter in the early hours of 2nd of September. There will be the big bang launch on October 1, 2011 (Independence Day), of at least 100 Nigerian blogs and sites listing four hundred and nineteen remarkable reasons to like Nigeria, with subsequent monthly blog publishing till the end of 2011.

What is it about your Nigeria? Let’s hear you!

Every Nigerian with a blog, website, and online presence of any sort (Facebook, Twitter, Google+, account etc.) is encouraged to volunteer and be a part of this campaign. With sincerity and candour, it is true that some, in times past, have contributed unfortunately to the prevailing negative association of ‘419’ with Nigeria, however, the time is NOW for us to counter-strategise by providing alternative content via an online rebranding initiative.

To register your interest, simply send an email to volunteer@419Positive.org, with the subject –CAMPAIGN VOLUNTEER, and be sure to provide contact details (email address) so you can be reached subsequently. Volunteers will be contacted latest by the 9th of September, 2011.

Be a part of this drive…the time is now! Let’s tell the world 419 Reasons to Like Nigeria.

Let’s tell the world why we do, and why they should too!!

Related articles

• Nigeria takes victory in Madagascar (vanguardngr.com)
• I See a New Nigeria! (yomiolufiade.wordpress.com)
• HOW TO BE A NIGERIAN WRITER by Elnathan John (sueddie.wordpress.com)
• Moin Moin Memories of Nigeria (thetalesofawriter.wordpress.com)

3, 2, 1: AN HOUR WITH ZUBAIR

So it’s been a little while I did a chronicle that wasn’t school and learning related, and that’s due to the fact I’ve gotten to that point where I’m pleading with God for extra hours at the end of the day…. It’s also because there’s too much happening! From Nigeria to Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe to Egypt, to Yemen, Bahrain, Libya, and Japan, it’s almost impossible to keep up!

Anyways, I’m back, and repeating my promise to give you something to engage with every week, and I’ll keep that promise; at least I’m not promising 50,000 posts in one day!

On to the business of the day; I’ve wanted to run interviews on this blog for a while because despite all the ‘sad’ things around us, there are young people who are doing exceptionally brilliant stuff! Especially the ones that if you’re not told of, you’d likely miss.

The idea for the first interview came about a week ago, when I was researching facts for an article that would show the impact social media has had/is having on politics in Nigeria and I stumbled on ‘Nigerian Constitution App for Blackberry’, developed by a Nigerian, Zubair Abubakar.

Zubair Abubakar, fine boy  abi? Brains too!

I found him on Twitter, asked for an interview, and below is an hour’s worth of our discussion, reproduced as taken off Gtalk!

Enjoy…!

FGS: hey, good evening!

ZUBAIR: hey!!!

FGS: good evening…… Nice day?

ZUBAIR: good evening ma, yes, I had a nice day. You?

FGS: yes, I’ve had fun, especially since I finished a report I’ve been trying to write since Wednesday

ZUBAIR: ah, great!

FGS: yup! So basically, I wanted to do this interview because as part of my research on Social Media and Nigerian politics I stumbled on @techloy’s site, and I saw your work

ZUBAIR: oh ok…..

FGS: And I believe that it’s a platform for people to get to know you, and the work that you do…and it’ll help our knowledge base so that our arguments and requests from government are backed with a knowledge of what we are entitled to..

ZUBAIR: ok, sure!

FGS: great, thank you. Let’s start with, what is the one thing you hate?

ZUBAIR: WOW, I love so many things, I cant even pick one thing that I hate…but I would say dishonesty from people and people trying to take advantage of others.

FGS: Ok, we’ll pick through your answer but please tell me three things you love, since you said you love ‘so many things’

ZUBAIR: I love to impact in peoples lives

FGS: that’s one…

ZUBAIR: I love reading and learning basically

FGS: that’s 2a and 2b

ZUBAIR: I love God

FGS: three! Ok, back to the things you hate, have you ever felt someone was taking advantage of you? Tell me (us) about it..

ZUBAIR: yea couple of times;well a typical example is the way Nigerian leaders rule over us without caring about be accountable to us(me)

FGS: Isn’t that a function of their knowledge of the fact that we didn’t care? I say ‘didn’t’ because we do now…

ZUBAIR: Well, exactly!

FGS: Why would you say then that they ‘took advantage’ of you, since you agreed with me that they had a reason to?

ZUBAIR: well, in the moral sense, because you have a reason or power to take advantage of someone doesn’t make it okay to do so!

FGS: Agreed…. Forgive my manners, I forgot I didn’t ask who you are, and what you do…

ZUBAIR: LOL, I guess you already know that

FGS: No(insert smiling smiley)

ZUBAIR: I am a web/mobile application developer, a TED fellow, a volunteer amongst other things.I currently work with connectnigeria.com as a lead developer

FGS: Wow….And your name is? I know your twitter handle is @zubairabubakar

ZUBAIR: you can get more here: http://www.ted.com/profiles/9272, http://www.facebook.com/zabubakar,zubairabubakar.com,

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/zubair-abubakar/3/329/935. Zubair Abubakar is my full name

FGS: Have you always been a ‘techie’? By that I mean is it something you’ve always had a flair/skill for, or you studied and acquired it?

ZUBAIR: yes I have always been a techie, but my studies helped a great deal to develop the skills

FGS: What/where was school?

ZUBAIR: I first did a diploma in Information Systems Management at APTECH Computer Education, Lagos,then a BSc. Computer Science at Ashesi University Ghana

FGS: How long have you been building apps?

ZUBAIR: web apps or mobile?

FGS: both

ZUBAIR: since 2003, so that’s roughly about 8yrs!

FGS: Wow….what’s the first app you developed? (web and/or mobile). By the way, I was in first year for the greater part of 2003

ZUBAIR: oh really! Well, it was a web app, a diploma project, where customers can create accounts, deposit(virtually), check their account balance

FGS: neat…Can we digress a bit? How do virtual deposits happen? I can understand online transfers, deposits via ATM’s et al but I don’t really get virtual deposits, and I’ve been too lazy to google it!

ZUBAIR: a simple implementation could be the use of recharge cards

FGS:ok….

ZUBAIR: so a website may sell the recharge cards and ask users to buy a card of certain value (say N5000) and then load the value of the card into his/her account on the website

FGS: oh ok…

ZUBAIR: then the account reads that he/she has N5000 on the website and can use it to buy stuff or transfer to another user

FGS: Nice….is it in use now? The app?

FGS: Zubair? (he was gone for like 8 minutes)

ZUBAIR: hey sorry for the break in transmission…thanks to NEPA.. lol

FGS: that’s fine; one of the reasons we’re all going out to vote next month abi?

ZUBAIR: exactly! And no, the app is not in use

FGS: Did you register in February ?

ZUBAIR: no; in January, why?

FGS: January I beg your pardon… DO you have your voters card?

ZUBAIR: yes

FGS: Ok, I would have been very worried if you didn’t! That would have been one less vote…. What was the experience like? Easy, difficult?

ZUBAIR: well ok, could have been way better

FGS: ok, that’s what everyone thinks… What prompted the Nigerian constitution for BB app? And don’t worry, we’ll be talking about things other than work in a bit…

ZUBAIR: lol its ok. Well I was learning how to develop for blackberry phones at the time so I thought about what app I could develop to make an impact and coincidentally, I was lazily reading the constitution then

FGS: ok…

ZUBAIR: and then it occurred to me that Nigerians don’t read or don’t even have access to the constitution; what if I developed an app that would let them read it on their phones……and that was it!

This is what the app looks like, get familiar!!

FGS: neat!!! Now to the stuff that sells papers…how old are you?

ZUBAIR: lol, 27

FGS: ok, back to the app. Has it been successful, how popular is it?

ZUBAIR: well, I would say yes, I has been downloaded 15,000+ times, here you go

http://mobileappsnigeria.com/nigerianconstitution/ (that’s the link to download it guys)

FGS: wow…that’s a lot of downloads! @techloy did a little analysis of the amount of money you would have made if you sold the app

ZUBAIR: it has also set a record of most downloaded app in Nigeria within 72hr – 10,000 downloads

FGS: Yes, I am aware of that…kudos!!!

ZUBAIR: yep, I know right! Thanks; a big thanks to social media

FGS: How are you publicizing the app, because there are currently more than 80 million Nigerians using mobile phones; placing this app in the hands of even a tenth of that number would be great.

ZUBAIR: my plan exactly; so far its has been, bb broadcast, facebook posts, twitter, and blog posts

FGS: ok, nice. When you are building apps, what do you do?

ZUBAIR: do you mean when I am NOT building apps?

FGS: yes, excuse me

ZUBAIR: ok, well couple of things, reading, volunteering, sports, hang out with friends

FGS: Any ‘special’ friend?

ZUBAIR: LOL, wife you mean?

FGS: whatever…wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, cat, dog, you choose….

ZUBAIR:LOL, not really, I’m mostly a loner

FGS: are you lending credence to the saying that techies are ‘loners’?

ZUBAIR: yep to some extent 

FGS:You’re not even trying to deny it! Anyways, my final three questions (and I must thank you for being a sport), what’s your favourite childhood memory?

ZUBAIR: lol, you are welcome

FGS: what’s your favourite childhood memory?

ZUBAIR: I’ve had couple, I think I first time on a plane would be the one

FGS: What’s your favourite meal?

ZUBAIR: tuwo rice with fresh fish stew

FGS: who’s your most favourite person in the world?

ZUBAIR: dead or alive?

FGS: You choose

ZUBAIR: Gandhi

me: thank you very much!!!

And that my dear friends, is Zubair, and the end of the interview (and this chronicle)… Feel free to talk to him on Twitter, he’s an easy, approachable fella, and please download the app, and forward the link! Knowledge of the law will enable us lead more productive lives, and ensure that no one tramples on our rights. Thank me later!

Related Articles

• Social Media and the New Dimension to Nigerian Politics (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)
• A Nigerian Revolution? Or Maybe Not (africaunchained.blogspot.com)
• Seun Osewa Founder of, Nigeria’s Biggest Website Nairaland Interviewed (afrinnovator.com)
• Curtains Close (zubairthedream.wordpress.com)

CHESTER + JABULA = AWESOME!!!

So, in an earlier post I talked about my visit to the zoo, the animals I saw, new things I learnt, and how I thoroughly enjoyed myself; little did I know that was just a tip off the iceberg of fun that Chester itself is!

Ever heard of Cheshire Oaks, home to the famous NEXT clearance stores? I don’t know about you, I heard of it even before I got here! Funnily, we didn’t go there, I plan to devote a whole day to exploring the many floors of the store when I’m ready! Now that I’ve gotten that out, yes, it is in Chester.

So we drove to Chester City, and the first thing any visitor will notice is the wall, approximately two miles long that envelopes the city. That wall has been in existence from just about the time the city was built, which is a very, very, very, very long time ago! Chester is the only city in England to be ringed like that and I am very proud to say I walked the whole length of the wall!

A little more about Chester: in my earlier post we established that it was built by the Romans et al; what you probably didn’t know is that as old as time itself is the rivalry between residents and the Welsh. As a matter of fact, an archaic law (that funnily hasn’t been repealed) states that ” a Chester resident can shoot a Welshman found within Chester’s city walls after dark! Can you beat that?

Next, we had lunch in what used to be a crypt for a church back in the 1700′s, it was so ancient looking I almost felt like we were in one of them ‘go-back-in-time’ movies! I enjoyed my meal though (naturally)…..

Lord please deliver me from sausages!

 

 

 

 

Then, we popped into some antique shops and saw some items from as far back as the 1800′s, it’s amazing how old (and very well preserved) the items were. And even though I know the word ‘antique’ presupposes ‘really old’, it didn’t stop me from oohing and aahing continuously! And yes, I didn’t take any pictures because I didn’t buy anything.

Errr, what else? Oh yes! We visited the Chester Cathedral, I must say it took my breath way……..It gave new meaning to the word ‘magnificent’.

Standing on 'the wall' the Cathedral is in the background.....

 

It was completed in 1250 and is one of the many ‘protected’ buildings Chester boasts of. A protected building/site/farm/location is generally one that has been listed as a Scheduled Ancient Monument. This is done to preserve the integrity of the site and the heritage it represents. It can therefore not be altered, demolished or extended without special permission. More details about the church can be found at ChesterCatherdral.com

It’s amazing how much work went into carving the figurines that adorned the building, and I daresay no two were the same! Makes sense then that the work started on the cathedral in 1092, and was completed 158 years after. Wow.

See the 'gargoyles' I'm referring to?

At the Cathedral there’s also a cenotaph originally in honor of the British troops that died in the First World War, but now is one of the many sites in the United Kingdom where Armistice’s Day commemorations are observed. Every year, at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, millions of Britons pay their respects to soldiers who have died in wars. From late October everyone begins sporting poppies; they were the first to bloom on some of the worst sites of the First World War, and incidentally are bright red. Thank me later for this mini lecture!

Paying my respects, rest in peace sirs.......

By this time we were hungry again (and you know I like food) so we ‘found’ our way out of Chester and headed for……. (wait for it)… Jabula, the spirit of Africa!

The menu, forgot to take a picture of the signboard outside!

So we got to Jabula, and it is one of those inner places that if you don’t know about, you don’t know! Beautifully situated on the bank of a river (The Manchester Ship Canal), it was warm and very cozy looking inside. I must say I felt a little nostalgic just looking at all the woodwork, paintings, etc, reminded me of JB’s Grill in Abuja (amongst other places). There was something about the lighting too, not too bright, not too dim, it was just right.

We were welcomed by a warm lady who we found out later is called Adel, and after getting us drinks, I asked for Portuguese fried chicken breasts and yellow rice. Funny that I’d go to a South African restaurant and then ask for a Portuguese dish!

Our meals came promptly, we’d both asked that our meals be medium hot (as regarded spicing); with benefit of hindsight I should probably have asked for hot times seven! It all looked really lovely though, my meal and Andy’s Durban chicken curry and rice, and it tasted wonderful too.

What's not to love about this meal?

It was also very filling, I was a little worried by the portions but I found I was stuffed halfway through it!

Did I mention that another instant attraction for me was the music playing in the background? I recognized a song by world acclaimed Ladysmith Black Mambazo and that scored Jabula more points in my already ‘points filled book’!

So, lovely atmosphere ambiance, a delicious meal, very friendly staff, and beautiful music! And just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, it did! An older lady came to us and asked if we enjoyed our meal, and it wasn’t just routine, she was genuinely interested in our answer! “Of course”, we gushed, Andy a little more than me! We had a little chat about foods and spices and then she invited us to drop by on a Friday night to amongst other things, enjoy live drumming and singing by some North Africans. Did I tell you this Fairy can drum too? If you didn’t know/don’t believe, that’s fine, Andy didn’t believe it too!

We spent the next 15 minutes or so drumming with the lady, and it was so much fun! It was also nice to measure the concentration levels ‘some people’ displayed as concerns keeping to a beat!

Beating the drums like an African!

I had a fabulous time at Jabula; I’d give them 10/10 ( or anything higher you can think of), and I’ll definitely be going back! When I collapsed into my bed after the long train ride back home, I did so with a ‘Cheshire cat’ sized grin on my face, Chester rocks!

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WELCOME TO LAGOS

Hiya! So I’ve found that the saying ‘easier said than done’ rings true. I didn’t think I would say this of myself but, here I am, eating the humble pie and wishing it tasted better!

At the beginning of this week I said I would do a chronicle a day for the rest of the week to make up for the time I had spent away from the blog. I think I started well (like we all do when we make a new resolution) but I didn’t put up anything yesterday.

I paid tribute to a friend I lost to cancer early this year, did my bit at lifting everyone’s spirits, and described a trip I took to Funtua last year. After that, it seemed like every force on earth (and beyond) swore wouldn’t write anything again. That in itself is a story but it’s not for today.

So a friend and colleague at Uni who cared enough to ask why I didn’t put up anything yesterday (shame on you if you didn’t ask) wrote something which i have posted below. Say hello to Andrew Watt people!

“As a Brit, my collected knowledge of Lagos and Nigeria comes from  Nigerians I have met and programmes on the television. Last year, the  BBC screened a three-part series called ‘Welcome to Lagos’ which showed some Lagos citizens living in squalid and dangerous conditions, making a living in any way they could. Coming from a country which has many people who believe the state owes them a living and sit on their backsides all day, I found their stories inspirational and fascinating. In fact it should be compulsory viewing for anyone who lives off the state. So, as a tribute to the people featured in the series, I decided to write this short poem.

Welcome to Lagos

For some who live in Lagos,

Their world is full of strife,

But you won’t hear them complain or moan,

Though poverty is rife.

In the Olusosun rubbish dump,

Life is very hard,

But some still have the Midas touch,

With the stuff that you discard.

Vocal Slender has a wish,

And every bit of scrap,

Brings him closer to his dream,

To live instead off rap.

Joseph is a trader ,

With two kids and a wife,

But he will work in any place,

If it improves their life.

Makoko is sandy slum,

Built next to the sea,

The houses are a mish mash,

Of various debris.

Chubbey is a fisherman,

With 18 kids in tow,

But wherever there’s a way to earn,

He’s always in the know.

Paul works at Ebute Metta,

He operates a saw,

But on funerals his money’s all been spent,

So he must sleep on the floor.

Handworking sandboys Dan and Kissme,

Make a living from the sand,

In a day they fill two dumper trucks,

Collecting it by hand.

These inspirational people,

Nigerian by birth,

Work and play in Lagos,

And are a gift from God to Earth.”

Image via Wikipedia

Thank you Andrew! And that’s it for Day 5!

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NOLLYWOOD KENAN!

Credits: Wikipedia

So I concluded with a friend that my chronicles would be on some sort of roster; say Wednesday of the every week I would upload a new chronicle. That would (in my opinion) help people unconsciously look forward to them; and also be able to dedicate a couple minutes of their time to joining whatever discussion the chronicle would spark without feeling bad about abandoning their jobs.

I’ve tried hard to keep to that but with the craziness going on in our world today, how on earth can I?

Moving on, so I won’t say I grew up on Nollywood movies because even though I’m a fairy and all, I’ve been a scaredy cat from birth; a mischievous friend affectionately calls me a ‘chickenosarus’ sometimes. And since at some point Nollywood was all about depicting Nigeria as some jungle where three in every five Nigerians was either a herbalist or patronizing one (I see we have handed that baton to Africa Magic Yoruba) and honestly, I couldn’t stomach all that ‘winchy winchy’ so I didn’t watch!

When I developed enough liver to start watching, I ended up being seriously amused and sometimes outright insulted by the simplistic scripts, weak storylines, extremely poor continuity (or none at all); in fact, let me paint you a picture.

Continuity entails ensuring that the facts, links, and time in a script are not only properly expressed in a production, but also in a coherent manner. You know, simple stuff like an Ini Edo who’s supposed to be playing the role of a poor girl living in the village with her blind widowed mum (you know we love sob stories) should not be dressed in rags and sporting glass nails!  Especially when you’re going to depict her ten years later with her rich boyfriend (or husband) who visited the village after living abroad for 20 years, saw her on her way home from the market, probably knocked her down with his car (for good measure), fell in love with her; oh my God! You know where this is going don’t you? Let’s continue sha.

So he falls in love with her, has to fight with his family because she’s not up to their ‘class’, and when she finally gets accepted by the family she’ll be pictured in his house with the same nail extensions, same frigging color! And believe me, that’s just one example out of many!

Still on Nollywood, I saw something on twitter recently that I had to retweet! Medianemesis said, ‘God must be annoyed with them (Nollywood) for giving Him glory for their wack movies’. I think I agree.

Anyways, so at some point Nollywood decided that since they had explored just about every issue with rituals, herbalists, and the supernatural in general, they wanted to have ‘Inception-like’ themes in their movies and so a typical script would play out like this:

A ‘bookwormish’ A student at some dodgy university would fall in love with the head cultist on campus (and not know he was a cultist). On a fateful day (most likely night) she would be on the way home from the library and homeboy and his peers would be out on a ‘mission’ and she would get caught in the crossfire (insert mission impossible soundtrack or some other give away background song, and the lady’s eye contact the said boyfriend before he shoots). Of course the boyfriend would be the shooter!

Fast forward three weeks later; she’s in the hospital with a head band and hanging limbs (even though we were shown she was shot in the stomach), and there we would find that when her poor widowed mum brings her food she’ll meet the boyfriend (who’s begging for forgiveness), see the ‘mark’, and recognize the son she had for ‘Chief’ eons ago. Add an enraged chief, the doctor revealing that the lad’s pregnant for the boyfriend (maybe twins for effect), chief’s wicked wife and the drama she’ll bring, three or four most-likely-to-confuse-rather-than-enlighten flashbacks, the clincher (revelation by the widow) that the lady was adopted so she can marry her boyfriend and next thing we’re ‘giving God the glory’ because the movie’s over! That’s of course if they decide to spare us the trouble of turning it into a four-part serial!

Would you believe me if I said this chronicle wasn’t supposed to be about Nollywood? Tell me to stop already, jeez! To be fair though, our artists are world class, as evidenced by the recognition they receive at international fora. And I truly salute people like Kunle Afolayan (The Figurine), Jeta Amata (Amazing Grace, Inale), Tunde Kelani (Abeni)* and other industry people who with their works show that movies can be brilliant, faultless, on point, timely, and still be Nigerian. Keep raising the bars people!

To the people behind the scenes, gaffers, cameras, lights, continuity, welfare, floor managers, drivers, costumiers, location managers, props; keep doing what you do! Your labor of love (which is paid here on earth) will also be rewarded in heaven by the Fairy Godfather.

To the stars of the show, the Genevieve Nnaji’s, Kalu Ikeagwu’s, Omoni Oboli’s, please feel free to challenge/reject/ask to amend dodgy scripts!

And to the scriptwriters (where the script is not written by a shirtless, chubby human being having a beer in his Alaba store on a hot, ‘NEPAless’ afternoon), according to Frank Capra “scriptwriting is the toughest part of the whole racket… the least understood and the least noticed”. We know, doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate you though!

P:S – You won’t believe this chronicle was supposed to be on politics! Ah well, let me get to writing that now!

THIS COLD!!!

So I woke up angry this morning, as in very angry! You’re aware of the ‘waking up on the wrong side of the bed’ phrase abi, today I felt like I didn’t even wake up from any bed! Yes, that’s how angry I was! ‘What could have gotten the FGS so riled up’, you might be wondering; well, I’ll tell you in a minute.

Now, I’m not angry because David Mark is seeking a fourth term as the Number Three man in Nigeria (since it’s his sole inheritance), or because the members of the National Assembly are working on a bill that amongst other things, make them automatic members of the National Executive Councils (NEC) of the parties they belong to; hell, I’m not even angry that members of the Lagos State House of Assembly that joined Lagosians to ‘commemorate’ a hundred days of their doctors strike because (in the words of Fashola), the state cannot afford to raise their salaries can sit to discuss getting themselves new cars! Don’t get me wrong, these and many more issues make my blood boil, but that’s not why I’m angry, and this early in the day.

So, why am I angry? It’s this cold, this blistering, unforgiving, insensitive cold! It’s this cold that doesn’t realize it should treat me gently because my black and beautiful skin isn’t configured for extreme weathers! It’s the same reason I complain about the open grill party Abuja’s sun holds sometimes (using the residents as beef) but that’s another matter, for another day! Sometimes I think Abuja has sinned so much the scorching sun is one way of punishing us! Haba!

So the cold is the source of my anger, and it’s not even snowing properly yet! My mind darts to the shelves where my sandals and six-inch heels are arranged and suddenly I’m smiling through my anger. Why? I’m smiling because I know all that footwear is useless till June next year.  Ditto my shorts and pretty little dresses. For ‘health reasons’ I am confined to boots and layers of clothing that not only make me feel like an Eskimo, but make me pray I don’t have to run anywhere because of the sheer weight of the clothing! I wonder how people who work in cold stores cope in these times, hmph!

It is known that telling children simple things like, ‘don’t eat that, it’s peppery’, automatically triggers an irresistible longing for them to eat that thing and then cry later. Now, what if you tempt that child by keeping them hungry for like three days, and then on the third day drop a bowl of peppery food on a table and tell them not to touch it?

Men and brethren that is exactly what is happening to me! My landlord has twisted the scriptures and is now reading, ‘Fairy GodSister, I will lead you into temptation, deliver yourself from evil’. How else will you explain them switching off the central heating at 11.30pm every night, and switching it back on by 7 in the morning?  In this weather? And then telling me not to buy my own heating? I could be wrong; I just believe that apart from it being darkest before dawn, it is the coldest frigging time of the day!

So I woke up in the middle of the night (and no it wasn’t to get a chocolate bar), I was literally having a panic attack because according to Osuofia in the movie ‘Ukwa’, my lungs had ‘congealed’! And no, I wasn’t wearing silk; I had on a long-sleeved tee, a cardigan, stockings, socks, and woollen joggers. And yes, I was under my double duvet too! In all of this, I was freezing, and of course, I had lost feeling in my digits.

Made me remember someone I saw sleeping on the floor at a train station a couple of weeks before and I hoped to God he had found a place to stay and keep warm.

So I’m a little sober and grateful to God I have a roof over my bed (and fridge full of food) but I’m still angry! I added a head-warmer and gloves to my ensemble, eucalyptus oil to my ear lobes and nostrils, and went back to sleep, albeit in fits and starts (I guess I was unconsciously checking to see that I was still breathing)! By the way, eucalyptus oil is my mom’s answer to everything; from colds, to toothache, to belly ache, and my personal favourite, eye trouble! I love you ma!

I went to complain as soon as the sun came out; scratch that, there’s no sun here anymore, I’m thinking Abuja or Lagos borrowed it (considering the complains of heat from those areas). Anyways so I went to complain, and with benefit of hindsight, I should have used the time to write another chronicle, do some school work, cook myself a meal, or worst case scenario, play with an imaginary dog! If by now you’re thinking nothing came of my complaints, you’re very smart and should get yourself a drink!

Its afternoon now, and I just noticed I was unintentionally counting down to 11.30pm. All in the name of adult education abi?  Fortunately I’m Nigerian (yay!!) which means I’m wired to be resilient, adaptive and strung to survive anywhere. So, where are my layers? Let’s do this!

As for my landlord, Igbo people say, ‘ukwa ruo oge ya, o da’! Ditto for the members of the National Assembly.

Ready to brave the cold!

P:S – most of the followers of this blog have complained about the sway towards more academic rather than leisure writing. I understand your concern, and I’m working on a solution, ok?

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