Posts Tagged ‘Social media’

So, if you didn’t know already, I am in Nigeria! Good news! Wondering how you will wrap your head around a social media campaign for your cause, idea or business? Holla! Email chioma(at)chiomachuka(dot)com, or tweet @chiomachuka.

You’re welcome to book a social media consultation,  and I’ve got great rates per the hour. Get in touch already!

 

Now, let’s get on to the flights and the chronicle for the day. One of the first things on my plate soon as I came in was a trip to Lagos, and that happened on Monday. When I was booking the tickets, I told myself I wanted to use an airline I had never used before, and somehow I ended up with Medview.

Cost? N19000, probably that high maybe because I booked it on the day; Aero was 19k too). Arik was about 24k for a single, and since I’m not minting money in my room, I decided on Medview.

Flight time was supposed to be 4.30pm but we started boarding at that time, meaning that we took off about 5pm.

Got into Lagos ok, we thank the Lord for safe travels. Lagos was great, working out of Red Media’s offices, planning big things, meeting people I’d known only on social media, I really had a good time!

All good things have an end though, and Wednesday evening was the time appointed for me to return to Abuja. Thanks to all the warnings about traffic, I set off for the airport about 3.30pm (for a 6.45pm flight). Got there about 5.30pm (hallelujah that I heeded the warnings), and I started reading, passing time.

At 6.45pm the first delay (for 25 minutes) was announced and I started berating myself (again) for picking a flight that late. A further 20 minutes delay was announced about 7.25pm. I quietly started making arrangements to spend another night.

Just before 8pm we were called to board, and there was a bit of drama when one passenger threatened to beat up one of the airline officials. Apparently the customer was lamenting the delays and the staff said something like, “am I the pilot?” Of course sentences like ‘do you know who I am’, ‘I can pay your salary’ etc., featured in the argument. Reminded me of a very despicable person I’ve had the misfortune of knowing and I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes.

We boarded and the pre-flight announcements began. Oh wait, not before some lady convinced herself she was going to have my seat, even though my seat was clearly marked ‘window’, and hers was marked ‘aisle’. Of course it didn’t happen. SMH.

The pilot came on and apologized for the delay, citing horrible weather in Abuja. Even though I’d seen tweets telling of the really shitty weather, I still rolled my eyes, and was going to keep rolling them when it hit me that the pilot was singing!

Oh my word! He was actually singing! Something along the lines of, ‘thank you for flying Aero Contractors today, you’re the reason we’re in business, we’re sorry for the delay, may God bless you, la la la la’. It was so cute! I was so amused! And he used the tune of a popular song (can’t remember which) but by the time he was done, we were all laughing and clapping, all the anger forgotten.

Concert done (lol), he mentioned there would be some turbulence as we approached Abuja but it was nothing to worry about, and then said to enjoy the flight.

As I am wont to do, I dozed. Was woken up by the hostess to take my snack pack, and I didn’t wake up again till we touched down. Either there wasn’t any turbulence, the pilots did a good job of maneuvering, or I was just too tired to wake up and notice. Of course God was in charge of the flight (let’s just get that straight).

It’s the first time I’d flown Medview ever, and the first time in a while I flew Aero, but I was so pleasantly surprised by the Aero flight. Shame I didn’t catch the pilot’s name; I would have asked for an autograph. Or even better, a selfie.

*Written on Wednesday the 9th of April

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Another one bites the dust…

Posted: February 9, 2014 in DAY 2 DAY
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Cory Monteith. Michael Jackson. Whitney Houston. What two things do these names have in common? Fame/wealth. Undisputed access to tons and tons of money, acclaim, all that good stuff.

The second thing is illicit drugs/death. Whatever it is they snorted, smoked, injected or inhaled, it led to their death, and very early too. Cory Monteith was 31, Michael Jackson was 50. Talk about lives being cut short.

Exactly one week ago, when I heard Philip Seymour Hoffman had been found dead on the 2nd of February with a needle still stuck in his arm and heroin (a special type called ‘Ace of Spades’) in packets around him, I was sad, then angry, then sad, and angry all over again.

Sad – he died young, he was just 46. He was very popular too, an Oscar award winner, and recently starred in Hunger Games (which by the way I have never watched and don’t think I will ever see because I don’t like fight fight).

Angry – are there not enough examples to prove that drugs are a sure way to die early?

Sad – heartbroken for his family, his wife/partner and their three young children. His parents, and the stigma of being related to the person ‘who died with a needle in his arm’.

Angry – what on earth made him go back to drugs after 23 years of being drug free? Whatever could have entered him all over again? They say his drugs could have been laced with something else. Ok, but why take them in the first place? Why?

I’m sure I could go the sad and angry route a few more times, but I won’t.

Psychologists say anything you do for 30 days becomes a habit – this man had been drug free for at least 8280 days! Then according to a report I read, he started abusing prescription pills, graduated to heroin, and then on to this substance that took his life.

I chatted with someone recently, and he told me the amount of thanks and gratitude he got because he gave him a $5 tip. 5 dollars. Reports say just weeks ago the now late Seymour withdrew $1200 from an ATM to pay for these drugs. $1200 on drugs when the next man is almost throwing a party because he was gifted 5 bucks.

Here’s another reason why I am angry – a child is attracted by the flickering light of a candle, and they want to touch it. Most times we let them because we know once it hurts them that first time, they most likely will not go back to it again. ‘Most likely’ because children have the attention span of a goldfish! Bless them.

23 years after, did he forget? Did he become so wealthy that he felt that the drugs would ‘fear/respect his money’ and not harm him? What was he thinking? The Bible says that the things that are written are unto us for examples.

Just like I wrote the ‘learn from it, don’t be it‘ post when Cory Monteith died, I’m writing again  - say NO to drugs. Say No, and mean it so much that whoever asked you before will be convinced you are not interested. You shouldn’t even be friends with such people in the first place!

RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman.

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Want to know how I met Mac-Jordan Degadjor? I was going to go to Ghana last year, and I googled ‘bloggers in Ghana’ because I wanted to meet people on the trip. One name kept popping up, and so I googled him (very well), and the things he’s done, stuff he’s achieved? No words! Got in touch, we met up, and he’s joined the list of my buddies from Ghana! Plus, he opened me up to a fabulous opportunity that has been very rewarding in all ramifications, and I’m mighty grateful for that!

Day 22 of my #31days31writers project takes us to Ghana, and Mac-Jordan!

My name is Mac-Jordan Degadjor, and I am a social media entrepreneur. All too soon, it’s almost the end of 2013 and here I am reflecting on the past couple of months. I’ve always lived by simple philosophy – life is short, make the best out of it whilst you are healthy and well.

The fact that you are reading this piece means you must have something to be grateful for despite all you might have gone through this year. I’m grateful that I have so many things to be thankful for, I don’t even know where to begin!

Below are the top 5 things I’m most grateful for (in no particular order) and I’m looking forward to an awesome 2014 full of good health and opportunities to improve on my new media start-up: Africa New Media.

1. Life!

I’m very thankful for being alive till this very minute. I’ve traveled the length and breadth of the continent for business and pleasure and I couldn’t have done any of that if I didn’t have life. I’m most grateful for LIFE!

2.Good Health.

Since the beginning of 2013, I’ve been attacked by Malaria on 3 occasions but I’m grateful once again to be healthy and strong. I will make a conscious effort to stay healthy, eat well and exercise regularly in 2014.

3.Family and Friends

Having friends that you can turn to and having them there to enjoy your best moments in your life, but also help you through your tough ones, is something very special. I’m very grateful for the friends I’ve made in 2013 and sorry for those I lost too. I’ve always loved this quote from Oprah Winfrey:

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough”-Oprah Winfrey

4.Social Connections + Change-Makers

I’m grateful for all of the people I have met online who have the same goal of creating a life based on passion and also changing this world for the better with their ideas and more.

5. I’m grateful for the heart-break I had to go through and for finally meeting someone who truly accepts me for me and not what I am. I’ve been accepted despite my flaws and I’m most grateful for that. To the special lady in my life, I’m grateful for your Fante love!

Finally, to you reading this piece now – I wish you an awesome 2014!

That's him, speaking at the Internet Freedom Fellow at the US Mission earlier in the year...

That’s him, speaking at the Internet Freedom Fellow at the US Mission earlier in the year…

I met Princess Nky (she is a proper Princess o) at the Excuse Us London event in April (or March, fuzzy on dates now). It had been a very successful event, and we all piled into a restaurant for dinner. Everyone got talking and when I heard her surname, I introduced myself and asked if she was from the royal family in my town (I’m from a town, not a village). Of course she was/is, she’s a princess!

And a really lovely one too, I remember her encouraging me just before I went on stage to moderate a panel at Social Media Week London, Princess you don’t know what that short chat did for me that day! Thank you! 

She’s up on a Saturday for a reason, so you can head into the kitchen and whip something up inspired by the photos below! I’m grateful I have royalty on the blog this 21st day of the #31days31writers project; I give you Princess Nky!

My name is Nky Iweka, British-Nigerian or is it Nigerian-British (I wouldn’t want to offend either side of my family and nationality). I live and breathe food, a foodie if you’re being charitable or a glutton if you’re not.

2013 was the year I truly discovered that I could combine my passion for food with my creative side and make a living from it in various ways.

One of the things I have always wanted to do is bring Nigerian food to the forefront of international cuisine. Our food is tasty but not always pretty. 2013 was spent refining the preparation and presentation of our food; writing a 300-page Nigerian cookbook due to be published next year (preview here: http://issuu.com/tupelogreen/docs/prelims_staplesreduced) and setting up an Executive Culinary Services Company (Tupelo & Green).

Like most people, I am grateful for my friends and family. As a Social Media Enthusiast, I also grateful to my friends on Facebook whom have given me great feedback on my food, much as they complain that I make them hungry with my posts.

My highlight of the year was having the opportunity to train the Executive Catering Staff of a major Nigerian organisation for several weeks over the summer.

You’re probably wondering what is so special about my food? As well as finding new ways to present Nigerian food and discovering our more unusual dishes, I spend a lot of time seeking inspiration from other cuisines. “Nigerian food with a twist”, my older daughter calls it.

They say a picture tells a thousand words, so here are a few of the dishes I made in 2013:

An Igbo favourite, Abacha na Ugba aka African Salad, brought up to date in a modern stack – all the traditional elements remain: stockfish, utazi, garden eggs, onions etc and some roasted red peppers for additional colour.

An Igbo favourite, Abacha na Ugba aka African Salad, brought up to date in a modern stack – all the traditional elements remain: stockfish, utazi, garden eggs, onions etc and some roasted red peppers for additional colour.

Nigerian/Asian Fusion - Prawn & Ugba Noodle Stir-fry: Inspired by the Nigerian love for instant noodles and Asian stinky beans. The latter are from the same family as ugba.

Nigerian/Asian Fusion – Prawn & Ugba Noodle Stir-fry: Inspired by the Nigerian love for instant noodles and Asian stinky beans. The latter are from the same family as ugba.

Spicy smoky Native Jollof Rice (Inuk Edesi) made with palm oil and smoked fish is an absolute favourite of mine.   This particular plate was demonstrated to my students in Lagos earlier on this year: served on a bed of smoked fish, goat meat and ugu salad.

Spicy smoky Native Jollof Rice (Inuk Edesi) made with palm oil and smoked fish is an absolute favourite of mine.
This particular plate was demonstrated to my students in Lagos earlier on this year: served on a bed of smoked fish, goat meat and ugu salad.

If I could do one thing differently, it would be that I wish I had listened to a friend who said a couple of years ago: “Nky, the thing you would do for free is the thing you should do for a living” – I would have started my reinvention earlier.

So here’s to a fabulous 2014 for all of you.

Nky Iweka lives in London and may be found on here: http://tupelogreen.com or here: https://www.facebook.com/TupeloGreen

Started our ‘post a day’ series brilliantly yesterday with a riveting piece by Chude, and today we kick with the ladies and my girl Francine! She’s featured on this blog before, I interviewed her and talked about the fabulous work she does with makeup! Then I hopped off  to Aberdeen sometime in October for her baby girl’s first birthday, and I had a wonderful time!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fran!

My name is Fran, I am British and I am a makeup artist.

This year I learnt that I matter! That I am more important than anything else that surrounds my life. Some might be puzzled or put off by reading that but I stand by it. So be patient in dishing out judgement.

This year I did so much for everyone else and most times I forgot about me. I ran myself down mentally and physically. I hardly stopped to think about my needs or what was in my best interests. I put my dreams and most of my goals aside to be there for the everyone else. Yet deep down I was unhappy, pretty much empty. This went on for the whole year!

Unsatisfied, empty me wanting to fill everyone else up.

Then I watched an interview on tv. It was an interview with Sheryl Sandberg. She was being interviewed by Oprah. I was astonished to hear how much of her words were pointing back to me. That mere 40 minutes of TV changed me. I sat there with my mum and I was in floods of tears. I could barely speak. I realised how much damage I had done to my mind by my negligence.

I sat there, and my whole year ran through my head. You know how people say ‘my life flashed before my eyes’, well this was that moment for me.

I immediately went onto Amazon and ordered Sheryl’s book called ‘Lean In ‘. I am still reading it, and savouring every learning moment. I even sent a copy to my best friends and my sister.

My point is that only a few weeks ago I thought differently about me. I paid no attention to the source but I kept dishing out the products. And now I believe that I can serve better and be able to do much more because I recognised me again.

In the last year I was blessed with the experience of being a mum and that’s what I am most grateful for. I live everyday as best as I to teach and show my girl a good example of a woman. Not a flashy, ungrateful, spoilt brat celebrity but a real woman who will aim to better the world she lives in. I love this girl so much and I am so grateful that I get to wake up to her everyday. I am also extremely grateful for my best friend Lannie, she is one special girl, my husband and my family and friends.

I wouldn’t want to change my experiences in the past year. Mainly because I know that in that very moment, as I sat and watched that interview, that was what my life needed. And in that time, I was open to receive the information. I don’t know that any thing else could have made such an impact. But maybe that’s just me. I strongly believe that God brings about the tools to help us grow and the people to facilitate the change but we will only see and truly appreciate it when our minds are open to receive.

My girl channeling Boho chic!

My girl channeling Boho chic!

Ladies and gentlemen, please ignore my feeble attempts at rhyming (look at the title again, see my sexy lyrics, lol)!

It’s a great day! It’s the end of the month, God’s been good, I’m alive, my family and loved ones are alive and well, there is hope for us, what more could anyone ask for?

I must say though, I’ve had a really difficult week. Will attempt to express those in separate posts but am I happy the month is over or what? Especially because I’ve got some massive plans for December!

For the first time since, when I published a poem by Andy Watt on the blog, I’m going to be opening up my ‘house’ to let other people feature! I’m so excited about that!! Whoop!

Now, not only am I opening up the blog, but it’s going to be open the entire month of December! Every single day, there’s going to be one post from a different person talking about their 2013: what they learned, what they would do differently, and one thing they are grateful for! Some of these people I’ve met, some others I met via Twitter, some are Nigerian, others are not, I’m just really excited at what this project will throw up! And I’m mighty grateful to all of them for saying yes, and taking the time to send in a post and a picture (yes you’ll see their pictures too!)

Are you excited? You better be!! It starts tomorrow, and there’ll be a brand new one up everyday at 11am. Keep coming back, keep reading, and if by any odd stroke of fate you want to send a post in, you have only today to do so! Nothing over 600 words though, and you have to say your name, your nationality, and what you do for a living. Feel free to include a link to it if you want.

In advance, welcome to a beautiful, happy, extraordinary December! Rock out! Mwah!

Hiya!

What did you get up to this week? Good stuff I hope. My week’s been one massive bag of emotions leaking all over the place, but that’s how life gets sometimes isn’t it? Thank God for strength to get through it, emerge in one piece type of thing.

So I’m going to run through my week very quickly, been a while I did that, and hopefully I can get you to share what you’ve been up to as well.

Sunday

Hillsongs rocked!! I don’t think my Sundays are complete without church on Sunday, but even more cos I attend the best worship services at Hillsongs!! By the way, there’s a Christmas Carol at Wembley Arena on the 20th of December and you should totally come!!!

Decided to do the ‘a post a day’ for my blog in December. Put the word out on Twitter for 31 people to write about their year and the response was so good, I started getting submissions almost immediately! Cool! Cool!

Monday

Woke up early, got quite a bit of work done on YNaija2015 (www.ynaija2015.com). Pause. I’m Founding Editor for this news site, and working with the smartest guys in the room, we deliver political analysis and news out of Nigeria every single day. Strictly political. I’ve been working on this since it was launched in April, and I totally love it! You need to see the ‘high’ monitoring the elections in Anambra (a state in the Eastern part of Nigeria) all the way from the UK gave me! Should totally be on ground for elections next year and 2015, but I digress.

Got some great feedback for some work I turned in for Future Challenges, that was great too. Don’t really remember anything else I did.

Skyped with a darling in the evening, was so cool!

 

Tuesday

Did a lot of writing today, I got some groceries, and I wore my new wellies to ASDA even though it wasn’t raining. Did you notice I said the wellies were new? Lol. They’re Apple Bottoms, and I love them!

‘Facetimed’ with Booski today. First time in a couple of days so that was good. Plans, plans, plans.

By the way, we’re attending the premiere for MTV’s Shuga next week! Need to go hunt for a dress that will look fabulous but protect me from the cold!

 

Wednesday

Crazy day, emotionally. Started with the two-hour phone call, and I’m grateful for the decision we took on me renewing my passport immediately.

Went to iron a top to wear to see the stage performance of ‘Lion King’, and ironing brought back vivid memories of my aunty. My desolation must have been palpable, I don’t think I cried as much as I did on Wednesday like I did when I heard she’d passed. I miss her so much. So so much.

Yeah, got an email (somewhat unpleasant) concerning some work I’d delivered on. Looked at it and smiled. Least of my worries for now I promise you. Will take my time and deal with that over the weekend.

I got up, had a shower, and went off to London. Had a brilliant time (thank you @Chude)!

 

Thursday

Went to start the process of renewing my passport (I’ve promised myself I won’t do the story till I have my new passport in my hand so you’ll have to wait a bit for that).

Had something called ‘Red Thai curry‘ with lots of veg, rice and beans at a place called ‘Pod’ somewhere in London town, loved it! Then I got a micro sim for my HTC, and just like that, I’ve kissed the Blackberry goodbye! I miss it though, and even though I still have a sim in it anymore, I still use it.

Came home, actually slept off on the train so went past my stop (blame the Nigerian High Commission for tiring me out), but I got home ok at the end of the day. Passed out on the sofa, hunger woke me up so I ate and crawled upstairs.

Evening should have gone differently but hey…

 

Friday

Skyped with my brother, and then spoke to Mamman this morning. I miss my mother to bits! And my sister, and my dad, and my brother, and Boo Boo, and my boyfriend. By the way, Boo Boo is all grown now, I think I’m ready to start accepting applications for the post of ‘wife’!

IMG-20131102-00271

That’s Boo Boo, the cutest baby boy on earth, and my besto Wumi!

Emotion, emotions, emotional! Soon as Momma started praying for me (and I swear I needed it), my ‘floodgates’ just opened and I was bawling for most of the day. I miss aunty so much, and fingers crossed my Dad can deliver on what I want him to early next year. That’d be many shades of awesome, if he can pull that off for me.

Grateful to Francesca (@ZanyFran) for talking with me and giving me my first laugh of the day, and for people who love me unconditionally, unreservedly, and don’t mind going over the same thing again and again just for me to get it.God bless you two.

That’s where I am now. Friday evening. Once I’m done with this I  have to finish two articles and send them off to my Editor (yep, this editor has got an editor, several in fact). Then I’ll speak to my dad, and it’ll be bedtime.

Need to shop for my dress tomorrow, post off some stuff (including some tea to a sister in Aberdeen), and then either get a massage or see a movie, or maybe I will do both! I have promised myself I will shake off this despondency, even if it’s the last thing I do!

Love, peace, and everything sweet,

The Fairy GodSister.

 

 

 

 

There’s a whole set of chronicles from my London-Lagos-Djeregbe-Lagos-Abuja-Lagos-London trip, first one’s here.

We had devotionals everyday (link to my notes from all of them are here), and Jerome told this story during one of those devotionals. You might have heard it before but hey, no harm in reading it again, right?

In Lagos there is something called ‘Third Mainland Bridge‘, which runs above ….river and is about km in length. According to Lagosians, it is the worst place ever to get stuck in traffic because there is no shoulder, and no options for a U-turn or anything like that.

Anyway, so on this day there wasn’t any traffic, and this car with four guys in it was moving on the bridge when the driver miscalculated and went boom! into a pothole. All of them in the car heard a bang and when the driver got it together and stopped the car, they noticed that all the screws on one of the tires was off.

They were in the middle of the bridge, about … of road each way, and no screws to hold the tire in place so they could leave. Tried to call people to bring screws but for some reason they couldn’t get anyone willing to come bring screws to them.

And then they saw this mad man walking towards them, like a proper mad person. Probably not the ones with clothes on, and of course he looked really rough, like he’d been on the streets for a while. First thought was, “oh boy, to compound our troubles here’s a madman who will probably try to harass us”. All of them braced themselves to fend him off, probably ‘psyching’ themselves up in their minds and putting on their most brave faces.

And the mad man came up to them and said, “why don’t you remove one screw from each of the tires? That gives you three screws for the fourth one, and you can leave here.”

Wisdom from a mad man? Incredible! But then you must have heard that even the fatally insane have their lucid moments, and the most intelligent have their crazy moments. Just depends on which one you channel more, but I digress:)

Long story short, these young men did as the madman said, and true to his words, they were able to drive off with three screws each on all four tires.

What if they had discountenanced his counsel because of his appearance? What if they didn’t listen at all? They’d probably still be on that bridge till now!

Moral of the story? A man wrapped up in himself is a very small package. There are pools of knowledge we can draw from every single day, long as we humble ourselves and remain teachable.

C’est fini!

Had a chat with a buddy the other day, and he was telling me of a lady designer, new in the fashion business, who wanted him to set up a shoot for her with some models. Cool idea right? As is with most new businesses, she didn’t have money to pay the models, but said they were welcome to some of the clothes, and for the others there would be a discount, her way of saying thank you. Still cool right?

So the models come, and in this semi-freezing weather they try on outfit after outfit, and pose for pictures. When they’re done, they get an outfit each; one of the models has her eyes on another outfit and wants to know how much it costs. “£200″, says the designer. For one dress? From someone whose clothes don’t have a label? Laughable. That’s over 50, 000 naira, for one dress. One dress that won’t wake me up in the morning, give me a shower, and then wrap me in its ‘goodness and mercy’. One dress that isn’t by Nine West, or Ralph Lauren, or …(insert any name you please). Insert the name, because this designer (for now) is nameless.

How much will designer sell for when she makes a name for herself then? Lol, that’s one less designer for me to patronize already.

You can’t afford to pay these people who have worked for you (didn’t even refund transport costs) and yet you want them to further enrich you by charging an arm, a leg, and maybe even their Nan for ‘unknown’ dresses? Pretty? Yes. Worth 200 quid? Definitely not. Did they buy them? No. Especially since the said designer refused to sell two for £150. I’d just give the design to a dressmaker to recreate for me. Simples! (insert meerkat voice)

Whatever happened to starting small, and then working your way up?

Almost borders on greed if you ask me, but hey, what do I know? Just going to walk away.

Second scenario came from a story my dad told me. You have a store or a shop in a market and about 10am, you’ve sold goods worth, let’s say £150. Then you remember you haven’t had a coke, so you buy one. Then you decide you might as well mix it with sprite, and so you buy one as well, and mix them all up in a big cup.

Then you remember that soda goes best with a snack, so you order some, just one or two. And then you see something online, maybe earrings or a dress, and hey, you’ve made some money today anyways, so you might as well order one.

Before the day is over your friend drops by and there’s a friend’s sister’s daughter’s wedding in a few weeks you should attend, and you must take asoebi* for it. How much is the fabric? Just £120 pounds. At the moment you have less than £70 so you put down £50 as deposit and promise to pay the rest in a few weeks.

When you’re locking up at the end of the day you realize that not only are you back at the zero you started with at the beginning of the day, you’re in debt.

And so you show up in church on Sunday asking the pastor to pray (and urgently too) because your enemies from the village are working day and night to see that your business doesn’t succeed.

It won’t.

Derive the lessons as you please, and have a super productive week!

*Asoebi- common in Africa, this refers to a group of friends coming together to pick one fabric they’ll wear in support of their friend who is celebrating (or mourning).

 

 

People who know me know I love stories, fiction or real. I love listening to folk tales (God bless my Momma for never leaving me starved of them), real life experiences (my father is a rock star with that), and tales derived from my interactions with people.

Don’t get it twisted though, I detest lies and liars  (they are definitely not the same thing). But, I love stories, and I love deriving them from places I’ve visited, people I’ve met, and generally from experiences I feel will benefit the next man.

Professionally, I can create stories from scratch, or from user-generated content. Am I brilliant? Yes (with all the shards of modesty I’ve got left). Heck, one of my most fulfilling roles was working on a radio drama series for the BBC called Story Story! Am I selling myself? You bet! If I don’t, who will? Lol.

Seriously though, storytelling was one of the reasons I started this blog… Go to my About page for the very first story!

Ok, so I was speaking to my Momma on Monday, and she was telling me of a wedding she’d attended with my father over the weekend. Speaking of weddings, this past week their marriage clocked 33. Boom! They’ve been married to each other for 33 years and not once have they ‘taken a break’, ‘separated for a bit’, ‘been apart to evaluate the relationship’, or any of the excuses our generation gives for walking away from vows they’ve made to each other. God help us!!

Back to Momma now, she told me a story the Reverend who joined the couple told in his sermon, all about admonishing the couple to be true and open with each other. Ready for it?  A couple had been  married for quite a bit, and then they moved to a new community. By their house there was a nice spread of chubby mushrooms and the couple didn’t know if they were poisonous or not. One day, this couple decided they would serve their dog the mushrooms and if nothing happened to it, then they would cook for themselves.

On the day appointed, they cooked the mushrooms, and fed the dog the first helping. They were watching it but it seemed fine, playing about. Second helping? Dog seemed better than ever. Third helping? Even better! They figured the mushrooms were fine so they cooked and had a little feast!

Later that even their dog all but crawled into their compound, wincing in pain and making sounds that were clearly not of joy or rejoicing. Then it curled up in one of the corner, and lay still. The couple was shocked! They were going to die!

Quickly, they went inside, and as it were, started putting their house in order to die. All of a sudden, the man said he had something to tell his wife. Teary eyed, she asked what it was. He said that he wanted to confess some stuff to her, and started talking about affairs he’d denied in the past and how they really happened.

When he was just about done talking, she said she had a bit to confess too, and started telling him the real fathers of four out of their five children.

She was on the story of the third child when a neighbour knocked on the door. Frowning at being disturbed, they told the neighbour to go and come back, but this neighbour was insistent on being heard. They let him in and he said he came to see how their dog was doing.

“What’s your business with our dog?”, man and wife were irritated but curious.

Their neighbour replied, “Well, I was working in my garden and a goat was eating the tomatoes I was harvesting so I threw a stone at it. It missed the goat but hit your dog and from the way it screamed, I knew it was hurt. I tried to go near it but it barked at me so I said I would come and tell you people, see how it is doing”.

The end. (of a lot of things obviously)!

Moral of the story? You tell  me! And while you’re at it, say a big thank you to my Momma!

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