Posts Tagged ‘WordPress’

So I got a HTC One as a gift (whoop), and as you would expect, I was beyond thrilled when the guy from FedEx knocked on the door and said “you have a parcel!”

I was also a little nervous because it would be my first all touch device; I’ve been a BlackBerry addict from my first one which was the BB9000. Why? Because I just couldn’t cope with typing on a touch screen.

I’d got an iPad in September because I didn’t want to have to bother with carrying my 13-inch Macbook back and forth my house for Social Media Week. I got a brand new 4th generation one for an awesome deal on eBay and I was looking forward to rocking my iPad. Took to the first day of the event and ladies and gentlemen, I was so frustrated!

I couldn’t cope with the touchscreen (bushgirl like me, lol). More importantly, I couldn’t work on WordPress (and that was why I bought it o) because I didn’t read the manual (don’t even judge because I know you don’t read manuals too).

Anyway, so I struggled with it for the first two days, and then I quietly dropped the iPad at home and carried my laptop there for the remaining four days. And I was productive! Come to think of it, the laptop I used before the mac was a 17inch Sony Vaio, so why was I complaining about a 13inch lightweight mac? Moment of silence for the Vaio, another gift from my birthday in 2011. The story of that wonderful birthday is here

Anyway, so you can understand why I was a little disturbed with this one – at a point I asked myself why I didn’t ask for a BlackBerry Q10. Anyway, so the phone came, and after fumbling with it for a few days, it occurred to me that I didn’t know where the sim card was supposed to go (face palm). That’s when I picked up the manual and there was a little pin I was supposed to use to push open the sim card tray. I tried, tried, and tried, looked online for tricks/tips but after a few more days of trying, I chatted with a staff at HTC.

2013-11-15 16.02.52

SMH. That’s all I can say.

Of course I wasn’t having that so I wrote on their Facebook wall (both US and UK) complaining of the prospect of having to post the phone and I was advised to call, that surely it could be fixed/replaced here in England.

I rang, and a very helpful young man (don’t remember his name) helped me book a collection. And the phone was picked up. I got an email when it was received and another email three days after saying it was fixed and on the way back to me.

The next day there was a knock on the door and I flew downstairs ( I love deliveries) and lo and behold, my phone was back! Fixed! Whoop! The bit that excited me the most was the pack it came in!

All good baby!

All good baby! Whoop!!

Funnily, I still couldn’t use the phone. Why? Well it required a micro sim and I couldn’t go to Tmobile for a replacement for a few days. But I’ve got it now and I’m loving my new phone! More correctly, loving it when it’s not frustrating me!

PS: I promise to read the manual soonest!

PPS: This was written on the 1st of December, makes my phone 3 months old today!

PPPS (added on the 27th of February): I love my phone!

How did I meet Lizzie? One day, I was working on some document, and all of a sudden, my iTouch started buzzing like every other minute with notifications I knew were from WordPress. I knew I didn’t upload anything on the blog that day so I was wondering what the novelty was about. After I’d heard the 16th buzz, I peeled myself from my seat and picked up the device. The entire screen was covered with ‘Lizzie liked a post, Lizzie left a comment, Lizzie reblogged this post…”, there must have been 40 notifications at once!

Ahh. I googled her o. Then I checked out her blog. And I fell in love with her. But it took me a full day to catch up with replying all the comments she had left! By the time she was done, she had read EVERYTHING on this blog, about 320 posts, in just under two weeks. I have never been that flattered in my entire life; nothing else comes close.

We spoke, and it was funny that she was completing my sentences, from things she had read here. Cute, cute, cute! 

Lizzie’s a Pastor’s child like me; she’s got a beautiful heart, and it is an honor to have someone who knows me in and out on the blog today. And I am looking forward to meeting her, it’s definitely on my to-do list for 2014.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, for the 29th day of my #31days31writers project, Lizzie!

I haven’t had a year like 2013! No, I haven’t. To think I’d someday grow to the point where I can consciously evaluate and chronicle my year and even share confidently, not just in a diary. Hmm…one word; progress!

Hi! My name is Elisabeth Ezekiel. I’m Nigerian and a final year student in the university, fulfilling requirements for a BSc degree in Sociology. Seems I’m the youngest of the lot (career wise), who ‘does’ people for a living.

Yes, you read right; I’m inexplicably intrigued by people and this intrigue forms the template for career options I would pursue in the nearest future. Up until what I do for a living can be categorised conventionally (or not), I ‘do’ people for a living – serving, uplifting, reaching out. It’s who I am. Essentially.

2013 started on a high note, in fact, the “word” for the year was, “uncontrollable exhilaration” meaning events, people and situations would always be orchestrated as reasons for laughter. I did find reasons to laugh no doubt, however more in the lives of others than mine. Ironic…no?

As the year wore on, I found myself balancing school work, fellowship and other commitments, perfect smokescreens for the high & low pendulum my life swung to and from. In fact by the time I wrote my first semester exams, I was so depressed, I entertained bargains with God that bordered on Him taking me home as I was just tired and didn’t think I would be sorely missed…lol.

Well, as you can already tell, He didn’t take me *smile* My guess, no scratch that, I’m convinced, the timing wasn’t right and more importantly, He’s got an ultimately GOOD plan for my life that He’s unravelling by the day.

By the second half of the year, ASUU struck. *mirthless chuckle* and morphed into what would eventually be a long, approximately six month break from school, ultimately extending my stay in the university to 2014. Oh, we moaned, sighed, complained, joked, shook our heads, the works. Alas! Our Ogas At The Top couldn’t be bothered.

Disappointments and self-deprecation followed this period, but I decided to see the good in all of this. I needed to, for my sanity.

As 2013 draws to a close, I’m thankful for the ‘interesting’ experiences and the realities that came home to me. In a sense, 2013 seemed like a year of years to me, you know, like I lived a number of years bundled up in one year; I would eventually come to understand that as catching a glimpse into God’s timelessness, His eternity.

In all of this, I learned this year that I matter. More than that, I learned that I am not the sole member of the appreciation committee, that my life was worth being celebrated by others too. I saw ME through really cool glasses this year. I understood Faith as a lifestyle (understanding and living in God’s will for me always) and not just a ticket to material resources. The meaning of CHIMAMANDA also came home to me this year, I experienced God’s Love-Commitment to me.

Oh, I’m most thankful my writing mojo came back, after a long time. It helped me put myself out there, learning to live life wholly, full & free. I’m grateful for blogs, relationships, good health and music this year. They literally saved my life.

What would I do differently? That’s easy, I would redeem the time. I won’t be caught napping when unexpected surprises come. I lost time this year sadly, but I press on. I would take more risks, exploit the power of alternatives, stay connected to the rhythm of my source, maybe trust more and by God, I would leap over walls in 2014.

Thank you FGS!

IMG-20131110-01507

Rockstar!!! Can’t wait to meet you babe!

 

Ok, so it’s 5.42am and just as I tweet that my darling nephew (Boo Boo) is a miracle baby for sleeping throughout the night, he wakes up! Talk about a tweet too early! Rather than whine about my ‘me time’ gone, I’ve decided to do a ‘thank you for 2012′ post. Cliche as it may sound, there are quite a few people I need to thank for the different things they’ve been to me this year, and Boo Boo’s one of them!

To God, for life, love, hope. For the gift of every new day He’s given, for safe travels (and I moved around quite a bit this year), for health; I might have fallen ill a couple times but the things I recovered from killed some people. I’m also grateful for a sound mind; don’t really see how much more righteous I am than the people who are out of theirs. Most importantly I’m grateful to Him for mercies that I see every day. This year’s been a little rough and I’ve derailed majorly but He’s been (and still is merciful).

To my family, you guys are the surest, baddest bosses ever! Kai!! Wouldn’t trade you guys for anything in the world! To Momma, Daddy, Kizaro, Inne, Qintaro, and the latest addition to the family, my darling Boo Boo!!! God bless you guys! I love you to the moon and back! 2013 is ours!!

To The One who calls me Pebbles, what do I say? Where do I start? How do I begin to talk about you, would anyone even grasp the depths of what I feel, of what you are to me? For the songs, the stories, the beautiful dances, the encouragement, for everything; thank you.. You’re the wind beneath my wings!

To my girl for life Wumi, you’re many shades of awesome! You understand me, you’ve accepted me (and my moods, lol), you’re there for me in ways I cannot begin to explain, I just love you girl!! Christmas with you was awesome, 2013 is the year!!

To my bestie Miss Mangut, you’re a great lady, a wonderful resource, and someone for whom the sky is but the starting point! Loads of love!

To the Chief Sista and Mr Mobility, thank you for being an ever present source of wisdom, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on (and soak with tears sometimes). Thank you for always being there, God bless you, and satisfy the desires of your heart speedily! I love you! To Aninoritse, thank you for being my friend; you’re never more than a phone call or ‘you’ve abandoned me’ BBM away. Love you muchos!

To the ‘elders’: I read through your eyes, climbed on your shoulders, walked through doors you opened, turned at your reproof, gained new knowledge, forged new friendships and partnerships through you, got the opportunity to prove myself, thank you! Thank you to my Principal, Dr Sam Amadi, Mr Eyo Ekpo, Jackie Farris, Yemi Adamolekun, Dr Ebirima Ceesay, FML, Mac-Jordan DegadjorBankole Oluwafemi, Alkasim Abdulkadir; here’s to a brilliant 2012, let’s do it (and even bigger) next year! I must specially thank Bankole, Alkasim, and Mercy Abang for being such wonderful business partners! And congratulations on your wedding Mercy! She rocks!

To my @i_blend family, for two years (I know, can’t believe we’ve had this group for this long) you’ve been home away from home for me. You (@AndyMadaki@El_Jefe@Nubian_Semm, @Lucy@EddieMadaki@Attaswitch@Tess_lati@Mamfizzle, @MissMimilove@Oche_E@Ene_vanhelsing, @Desiree, @Mimi, @Matilda, @Ayeesha, @Dosh, and @Gang) have been sources of joy, a rounded sounding board, activity.com, and best of all, great friends! 2013 is ours! I love you guys!

To everyone who’s read my blog, left a comment, tweeted a link, liked a post, or even followed the blog, thank you!! It is for you I write, God forbid that I take you for granted. To Iyke, Pearl, Chief Sista, Jaz, and Rita for being the top five commenters on the blog this year, thank you so much! 2013 will be bigger, better, more interactive, richer, and I promise there’ll be shorter breaks in between posts!

To Hillsongs Church, I’m grateful I found you, however late in the year. I promise to get more involved soon as I get back!

To Zemanta, WordPress, Nitropdf, and Google, your constant innovations have been a delight; they’ve also made for a richer online experience. Thank you! @Nitropdf, I’m earnestly waiting on the MAC version like you promised!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Here’s to an extra-productive 2013!

The Fairy GodSister.

 

Hey!

How have you been? Like really, how have you been? Happy? Loving your life, family, job? What’s been up with you/what have you been up to? Have you been having fun? What new skills have you learnt recently, what new knowledge have you gained?

Questions, questions, questions right? Don’t mind me, I just haven’t checked on you properly in a while, or thanked you for always being here. Would love to use the ‘without-you-there-would-be-no-me’ line but I think that wouldn’t be exactly true, lol! I’ excited you’re reading this though, and this is a major shout out to all my readers, from Sudan to Singapore! Am I loving WordPress for the country by country stats or what!

This post chronicles my week (last week); so I chanced upon a flyer advertising a dance/fitness one week intensive class, promised we would lose 10kg in one week. I know! You’re asking yourself if I fell for it right? I did! Maybe not totally but there must have been something that made me ring and ask for the form!

From Monday, 6-7am and then 6-9pm every day, I went to jump up, (and down), squat, crunch, skip, and do all those things that celebs do on TV for two weeks and then next thing they’ve lost all but their bones! Ask Jennifer Hudson and Jordin Sparks if you don’t believe me.

After one of the dance classes, see me looking like this is my mug shot!

So, did I lose 10kg? Nope! Did I lose 9kg? Lol. Let me be quick and say I weighed x.9kg (‘x’ is because I don’t want to tell you exactly what I weigh) on Monday when I started, and then Friday night when I weighed myself,  I was x.45kg (‘x’ remaining absolutely constant)! What!!?!! I didn’t even lose ONE full kilogram!

Well, there’s only two things left to do now…

  1. Liposuction (after I’m done having children sha, I can’t even shout). Or
  2. Some ‘extreme’ measure, like the Hallelujah diet (ha ha ha), or Shawn’s Insanity workout.

Momma thinks I just need to stop drinking pop et al but what would my life be without an ice-cold coke every now and then? Drab and uninteresting, that’s what! Ladies and gentlemen, I am in a quandary!

On Friday though, Big Sister Nike (@chiefsista on Twitter) invited me to a free dance class (fitness oriented as well) put together by @bubezplaiz for ladies to come, dance, shed some, and network! Very noble if you asked me! Was supposed to hold from 7-9am on Saturday morning but men, man proposed, the rains disposed! It rained so hard on Saturday morning  I didn’t even get out of bed! Apparently no one else did and the class was moved to 5pm. It eventually started about 6pm (some issues about the venue), and it was a fabulous class! Whoop!

The music was great (and loud enough to keep me on my feet), and the instructors were really good too! Whoop whoop!

Was nice to finally meet @damioyedele in person, she’s a fabulous lady; smart, beautiful, and in recent times has helped me remain a ‘super aunty’ before my 6-year-old nephew by helping me with his assignment via Twitter! She was at the class too, sisters in weight loss!

Dami Oyedele and I!! Sisters with natural hair! Tres chic!

Of course @chiefsista was there too, and it was awesome to see her again! Ladies, Nike Coker is the convener of the famous Sista Sistaevent; holds once a year strictly for the ladies, and is a wonderful opportunity for them to meet other ‘sistas’, network, put their feet up, and just have a great, interesting evening! Did I mention there’s always loads of things to eat (and I love food), music, skills to be learnt, prizes to be won (I’ve won one), and loads of new friends to make!

@chiefsista and I, sweating after the dance class!! Sister remember the guy who stretched us out? Dang!! Intense! Funnily my back hasn’t hurt since then!

Sista Sista is in its 6th year and is holding in Abuja on the 1st of September! Holler @chiefsistato PURCHASE your tickets (nope it ain’t free)! Also get in touch if you’d like to promote stuff at the event, and especially if you’ve got giveaways for the ladies! We’ll be chatting to her on the 3, 2, 1 Series soon!

Finally, did you know/notice I’d changed my look? Want to see? There you go!

Whoop!!! Love it!! Notice that I’ve somehow managed to have four pictures of myself in one post? *sticks tongue out*

I’m loving it, can’t wait to make it permanent! Whoop! So stress free, and I can stop peeking at weaves, extensions, and all those things!

So, how did your week go? What exciting stuff did you get up to? Share with us in the comments section will you!

That’s it, a breeze through my week; can’t go without saying my boo boo is doing great, and is more adorable by the day! Like seriously, he’s the cutest baby in the world!

Have a super productive week, I insist! Mwah!

 

A part of me longs for you

Calling the others already there

You make everything brand new

My thoughts dreams come true

English: Pebbles

There’s a certain beauty to you

Ace, that extra that’s only here

Strong, arrogant, maybe even derousse

You’re pure, my nightmares diffused

We want to go there

Sail, walk, drive, explore the blues

I feel a lot of things sans fear

Because you care, cos you’re always here

Ok, are you new to the Oke story? Statement of the problem is here, pictures of the problem here (not for the light-hearted I must warn), and phase one of the solution is here.

A lot of thoughts have run through my mind from the very first night I became aware of Oke and I just thought to share four of them with you. I’m also sharing a documentary made by a close friend of mine, Onye Ubanatu, capturing the essence of Oke’s story.

SOCIAL MEDIA IS POWERFUL

I’ve never doubted the power of social media (wouldn’t have studied it if I did) but if I did, this campaign would have forever put paid to those doubts. The speed with which the blog posts spread and the amazing functionality called the ‘retweet’.  Jerry Seinfeld was right when he said this of Twitter, “Twitter is progress; why say to one what you can say to all”. Amazing! And say to all we did, in just a few hours his pictures and story were literally everywhere! Thanks to the WordPress’ ‘stat by country’ functionality I could see just the numbers of people from the different countries, and believe me it was amazing!

NIGERIA IS IN TROUBLE

Oke’s story was just another instance pointing to a problem we (Nigeria) haven’t gotten past. Unfortunately, even in 2012 we are still in the ‘reaction’ rather than ‘proactive’ mode. No one thinks to plan for the future, hell we’re barely getting through today! Fully discussing that will take all day so I’ll just say that all the information I got about Oke’s illness I found here. That website also features simple definitions and presentations of types and symptoms, care for people with diabetes, and even available support groups! And it’s all correct, up to date information! Do we have functional bodies like that here? No. All we’re saddled with are committees catering to committees set up to review the work done (or not) by committees. SMH!

WHO SINGS FOR THE UNSUNG?

The day after I spoke published the ‘Save Oke, we saved Oke’ post; I got one BBM broadcast about a young Nigerian in the clutches of another terminal illness who needs to seek treatment abroad. Someone else tweeted a link at me, and that evening I got email; three different people in one day! I flashed back to the campaign when I asked (in a private email to a group) if anyone else was thinking about the people who didn’t have anyone to blog about their problems. Who would cater to those ones? I’m asking those questions again; who runs with their stories?

How many people die every day because they have no access to qualitative healthcare? How many ‘trivial’ cases transform into life threatening because they were not nipped in the bud with adequate treatment? Who sings for the unsung?

WE ARE STILL THE WORLD

Social media has always and will always revolve around people. Social media without human involvement can be compared to a beautiful car without a driver: it is nothing without our input. It is one thing to sit in the comfort of your home and moan every day about everything going wrong with the country, how the government doesn’t care, how we need a ‘paradigm shift (lol), etc. It is a totally different (and more profitable) thing however to do your civic duties, know your leaders (local and national), and then hold them accountable by getting informed, asking them questions, you know the drill. In the same vein, while I am grateful to everyone who tweeted and retweeted Oke’s story, it is the ones who actually donated I am grateful to. Imagine if we were all tweeting, ‘Facebooking’, and no one did anything. We’d sooner be tweeting at his funeral!

This whole campaign has taught me that technology (in different formats, functionalities) will come and go but people will always remain. We are the answers to the questions we seek; we are the world we want to live in.

P: S – As you read, Oke is in India with his sister, and a state appointed consultant. I spoke to him the night before he left, and told him to document his ‘Osuofia’ stories for me, cos I’m sure he’ll have plenty!

Ok, a couple days ago, I ranted in the ‘Racism, sexuality, and some‘ chronicle. I’m glad to say I’m feeling a lot better! Obviously the issues still weigh heavily on my mind, but I’ll live. It is interesting to see the debates the passage of the anti-gay bill have caused on various social platforms…..the intelligent, unintelligent, and in some cases, the vile.

How are you gearing up to the weekend though? It’s almost Christmas, whoop whoop! That’s my favorite time of the year! It gets better, my bestie’s going to be here as well! I’m doing cartwheels! Plus there are loads of carols everywhere, the German Market in Birmingham makes the whole Christmas spirit more alive by the day, it’s all so exciting! Can’t wait for the day! Of course I miss Nigeria terribly, and hate that I won’t make Calabar Carnival this year. I’ve never been, and I hoped I would make it this year. Well, there’s always next year, and the year after that, and the year after that…..

One of the many trees at the City Center!

I’m also looking forward to breaking the little piggy bank I’ve been keeping for a little while now; I’ll be praying for the miracle of multiplication the day I open it, maybe multiplied by 9, 19, or 900! He he he… I wonder how people feel when they go to people who claim to be able to ‘double money’ often dressed in tatters, found in dilapidated, obscure locations. Why haven’t they improved their own circumstances from the doubling, or are they just ‘humble’? That’s talk for another day abeg.

A few more things that have caught my fancy in the last few days; recently we played around with hash tags on Twitter, this one called  #TakeMeBackToWhen. The idea was to complete the sentence with anything you had/enjoyed in the past that you don’t have access to anymore. I captured some of the tweets that interested me…

I agree, even though the greetings from guys these days should be taken with a bag (not pinch) of salt!

He he he....this one just made me laugh!

What else? So there’s a new record holder in town(read as the World) for the largest church auditorium; it’s the 100, 000 seater National Temple of The Apostolic Church Nigeria (TAC) at the international ground of the Church in Ketu, Lagos State, Nigeria. The construction of the auditorium was started over 25 years ago by one of the senior ministers in the church. Congratulations are in order (I think).

A friend sent me a link on Twitter to something he’d tagged. ‘what I want for Christmas’. The link is here, and I think it’s a pretty decent Christmas list. Issue now is to find someone to give him all he wants! The part that caught my eye, and made me laugh though, I have captured below.

Lol! Hope you could read it....

By the way, the United States Senate recently ( I think on the 1st of December) voted to legalize a bill that allows their soldiers have penetrative sex with  animals. I think it is important to note that they voted ninety-three to seven in favor of this bill. What do you even say to that kind of thing? That means sooner than later we’ll hear that instead of training a soldier was ‘getting down’ with a horse, chicken, or lion! And yes, I’m sure the Nigerian Senate will soon ban that as well, seeing as they have nothing else to do.

Finally, I stumbled on this documentary made by Wildlife films/Distilled Ideas of the production of the award-winning BBC World Service Trust radio drama ‘Story Story’ that I was privileged to work on for spits away from a year. Thought you’d like to see….

Tuned In (2010) from aoibheann.net on Vimeo.

Enjoy the rest of the week, and visit again soon!

P:S – WordPress, thank you for bringing  Zemanta back! I missed it, and badly too!!! Zemanta is a blogging aid that works on WordPress which was recently disabled by WordPress because they had issues with ‘integration’. Me thinks it had to do with money, but I’m over the moon that it’s back! Thank you!

Ok, I hope you went to church today! You know we are admonished in the Bible to ‘forsake not the gathering of the brethren’ – Hebrews 10:25. I did, and I had a great time! Matter of fact, Sundays at church are always the highlight of my week, honestly!

I have decided that there must be something from God’s Word every Sunday on this blog, and so far I’m grateful for the testimonies from people who have been encouraged, or uplifted as a result of a chronicle they read here. What else are we here for anyway, if not to lift our brothers and sisters?

This week’s sermon is about two years old (yes, I have church notes from that long), and I decided to put it up because it was a big blessing to me that day in church, and because the word of the Lord is new every morning, I know there will be fresh understanding for everyone who reads this today. In Jesus name!

The church was COZA (Commonwealth of Zion Assembly), in Abuja, and it was the 5th of July 2009. There was a special service that day that I had been invited for, and I remember the choir’s ministration that day was ‘You are the source of my strength’. Pastor Biodun (don’t know his surname) titled his message ‘I know the Lord will help me’.

You sure you are? Then you are entitled to his help!

He started by saying that anything we believe God to be is what/who He’ll be to us. Genesis 1:26 says “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” We are made in His image, and so should carry around that consciousness everywhere we go!

Deut 33:26. 1 Peter 5:9 says “Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.”

Psalm 23:1 – 6 1 Cor 6:19

Isaiah 50:7, 9. Genesis 1:31, 2:18

Note that even when we don’t know we need it, God always identifies help, and helpers for us. Psalm 60:11

Jeremiah 31:17

By the way, don’t you ever forget, without the help of God, we are nothing. Isaiah 31:1 says “Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD!”

2Kings 6:27 Hebrews 13: 5-6

WHAT TO DO TO INVOKE THE HELP OF GOD?

1. Ask. Mathew 7:7. James 4:3,2. Yes God knows everything, but He still wants us to ask. I’ve heard men of God say that after Adam ‘blamed’ God for giving him Eve in the garden of Eden, He wants us to ask ourselves.

2. Know that God will use a man to help. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” So you don’t pray for finances and then start expecting to wake up and find the amount you need under your pillow!

3. Be a channel of help yourself. Eph 6:8. A saying goes, “the pipe carrying water can never be dry”. Is it all about you, you, you, or are you a blessing to other people, even with the little you have?

4. Be organized. 1 Corinthians 14:10. At different times in the Bible, people were told to ‘put their house in order’. Sometimes, reducing the chaos/clutter around us automatically reduces the crisis around us.

5. Sow towards it. Remember King Solomon? 2 Chronicles 1:6. His offering caught God’s attention. What do you give God, and how do you give? Grudgingly, because you’ll look funny if you don’t, or with a heart full of gratitude?

6. Declare it. God speaking to us in the book of Numbers says that “as surely as you have spoken in my ears, so will I do unto you” Numbers 14:28. What are you declaring/saying into His ears? Speaking positively or negatively? No need telling you how powerful our words are; bet you know that already.

Very true!!!

Enter the new week with the consciousness of who you are in Christ, and the power and help available to you as a child of the Kingdom. Nothing will confound you this week in the mighty name of Jesus! Amen!

To start with, the inspiration for this chronicle was found on WordPress, after I put up my 103rd post. I guess they felt that after sometime you run out of things to write about. On the one hand I agree with them; if your posts always revolve around love, there’s only so much you can write about! On the other hand, life is so exciting, there’ll always be something to write about! Pleasant or unpleasant, joyous or sombre, informative or just for entertainment; I believe there’s always something worth sharing with others.

So, what’s your worst injury? Physical o! If we’re talking emotional scars I’d just do a book at once, I’m sure one chronicle won’t be enough to tell the stories! According to Natasha Beddingfield, ‘I bruise easily’. Moving on, one condition for reading this post is that you must share one story of yours in the comments section. Agreed?

This story is set in the East, sometime in 1996. I was a few months from going to boarding school for the first time, and looking forward to having and being in control of my own provisions (whoop whoop)!! We lived in Owerri, Imo State at the time and our family friends lived around us, with young children about my age.

Now, if memory serves me right, Momma had asked us to go for the midweek service with her but we said we had homework. Now that I think of it, I wonder how/why she left us at home that day because I grew up with church more as reflex than an option.

Anyways, so she left, and after rushing through the said homework (I’m not even sure again if we even did it) we rushed to the house of my family friend on our bicycles. After we got bored playing in the house, we decided to hold ‘World Bicycle Championship’. We piled outside, mounted, and started racing. I won a few, lost a few, and then I said I was leaving because mom would be back home soon and if I was sweating (like I was then) I’d have some major explaining to do!

World Bicycle Championship ke nan!

“One more race”,  the urchins pleaded that we did just one more. I didn’t need too much convincing anyway, and so we agreed. We had sighted their uncle at the end of the road and so the first person to reach Uncle Adimabuo (Igbo name literally translated to mean ‘I am not two’) would be the ‘winner winner’ or ‘ultimate champion’.

On your marks, get set, go! We took off, and being one of the stronger riders, I was soon in the lead. Then I felt something hit my back tyre, and next thing I knew, I was on the floor. Now there were three problems with that fall:

1. We had been racing on the road in the estate, which wasn’t totally done. It was a granite/asphalt/dirt road. Forming a picture in your mind yet?

2. We were speeding (duh, it was the World Championship), so when I fell my tyre continued spinning ( sturvs, lol)

3. I was wearing shorts and a shirt, so I wasn’t exactly covered. Feeling sorry for me yet?

If by now you are wincing from the pain/injury you’re imagining I endured, buy yourself a drink. I scraped both knees (majorly), my hands, it was horrible. Plus I was about 10 or eleven; the fact that I wasn’t a teenager yet compounded my fear, pain, fear, and pain again! My young mind was literally ‘between a rock and a hard place’; I was bothered (afraid even) of what my mom would do to me because she expressly said not to leave the house when she was going out. Not only did I disobey (which was an offence like the sin of witchcraft – 1 Samuel 15:23), but I had soiled my clothes, and worse still, hurt myself. In between that I was in excruciating pains and the blood I was seeing was almost driving me mad!

By the way, some people might have a low pain threshold, I don't have anything!

I cried that day eh! I’d never felt that much pain before! And then they had to cut the skin hanging, and then clean the wound with Milton (which my aunty had lied to me was water). The pain was unbearable, akin only to a heartbreak I endured like 10 years after.

By the time Momma got home from service, my friends’ mom had taken me home and was assuring me that ‘everything would be alright’. My darling mother (bless her heart) looked at me, saw my red, swollen eyes, and ‘had mercy’. She became preoccupied with soothing my pain, apparently the injuries were punishment enough.

The next few days were spent petting me (especially at bath times when water and soap would touch the wounds), and me getting practically anything I wanted because I was injured. I think I got stitches (not sure because I don’t see how I wouldn’t remember that) but how many years after, I still have visible reminders of that day in my mind, and an engraved version of the commandment, ‘CHILDREN OBEY YOUR PARENTS’!

This knuckle is for you!

Death. Five letters, one word, devastating implications. Death is one event/occurrence that in one fell swoop changes the course of events in a relationship/family/community for ever. You’d be singing Naeto C’s ‘things are not the same’ but you definitely won’t be dancing to it.

You never get used to death, no one ever gets accustomed to the fact that the person you saw yesterday you won’t see anymore. Death is permanent, it is cruel.

Time check? 9.40pm on the 7th of July 2011. I’m sitting in the living room of my parents’ house, watching Dr. Reuben Abati and the other newly sworn in Special Advisers to Mr. President pledging their lives away with the same clichés I’ve been hearing since I became aware of Nigerian politics. I have a bowl of rice and stew with generous helpings of croaker fish and chicken on my lap. My mother is the best cook on earth and even though I do not want to eat, I know I will or she will worry.

I’m sat at the edge of the couch, my jotter placed on the armrest, tears smudging the products of my ball pen as I write. I’m writing so fast I hope this makes sense because I will not edit.

I heard of the deaths of two precious people today; a baby boy, and a very dear family friend. Death took them from me. Stupid, inconsiderate, insensitive death.

Aunty never beat her children when they misbehaved, she would pinch them instead. Always made me laugh because till we found out what she was doing you would just notice A or B whimpering. She referred to my siblings and I as her younger ones, and was really a wonderful big sister in every sense of the word.

I remember the last time I saw aunty in 2010; she visited Abuja so my sister and I drove to Kubwa (or Gwarimpa) to see her. She was beautiful as ever, cheerful, funny; typical ‘Wafi’ woman. Her pidgin was on point (before nko), and I remember her teasing my sister about her husband-to-be, thanking God “say you commot from that dead town. How you for meet this guy?”

I saw her at my sisters’ wedding, and she gave me quite the hug (and it wasn’t because I was just in from school). Aunty was warm like that. She said I had become chubby and worried that if I had hit that in only two months, say “wahala dey o!”

The Monday after the wedding, she flew to Lagos to start chemotherapy, the rest of that story is what I heard this evening.

On to the baby boy; I met him first when he was like two months old, and I remember always complaining that he was tiny. I was scared of carrying him because I just felt I would do something wrong. He was the cutest baby ever, you know, one of those children who only cry because they want to eat or sleep; not the ones that cry so you stand, then so you sit, then so you dance, and even when you’re standing on your head they’ll still be bawling!

He was peaceful, and had the best laugh. I loved carrying him after he passed 4 months, and the best parts of my day would be playing with him before I went to work in the morning, and immediately I got home in the evening.

My favourite memories of him would be singing into his ear whenever he cried or was restless, he would either chuckle, or laugh (depended on if I was singing Terry G or Luther Vandross).

I also loved strapping him to my back, even though every time I did I would complain to every listening ear that my boobs would sag from the pressure. Yet whenever I saw his mom or anyone wanting to ‘back him’ I would hustle till I got him (and then of course complain about my boobies again).

He had a hole in his heart, was discovered early. Why him? Why her? Death is cruel. I’m not nuclear to either but if tears was all it took to bring them back, I would have single handedly made it happen.

My darlings, rest in the bosom of our Lord. Aunty I can be sure you’ll have Jesus cracking up with your jokes, and baby I hope you remember the songs I sang for you. Sing for Jesus babe, regardless of the artist.

My heart is with both families and I understand and forgive you that I’m the last to know.

Death is cruel.