Death is cruel.

Posted: July 8, 2011 in DAY 2 DAY
Tags: ,

Death. Five letters, one word, devastating implications. Death is one event/occurrence that in one fell swoop changes the course of events in a relationship/family/community for ever. You’d be singing Naeto C’s ‘things are not the same’ but you definitely won’t be dancing to it.

You never get used to death, no one ever gets accustomed to the fact that the person you saw yesterday you won’t see anymore. Death is permanent, it is cruel.

Time check? 9.40pm on the 7th of July 2011. I’m sitting in the living room of my parents’ house, watching Dr. Reuben Abati and the other newly sworn in Special Advisers to Mr. President pledging their lives away with the same clichés I’ve been hearing since I became aware of Nigerian politics. I have a bowl of rice and stew with generous helpings of croaker fish and chicken on my lap. My mother is the best cook on earth and even though I do not want to eat, I know I will or she will worry.

I’m sat at the edge of the couch, my jotter placed on the armrest, tears smudging the products of my ball pen as I write. I’m writing so fast I hope this makes sense because I will not edit.

I heard of the deaths of two precious people today; a baby boy, and a very dear family friend. Death took them from me. Stupid, inconsiderate, insensitive death.

Aunty never beat her children when they misbehaved, she would pinch them instead. Always made me laugh because till we found out what she was doing you would just notice A or B whimpering. She referred to my siblings and I as her younger ones, and was really a wonderful big sister in every sense of the word.

I remember the last time I saw aunty in 2010; she visited Abuja so my sister and I drove to Kubwa (or Gwarimpa) to see her. She was beautiful as ever, cheerful, funny; typical ‘Wafi’ woman. Her pidgin was on point (before nko), and I remember her teasing my sister about her husband-to-be, thanking God “say you commot from that dead town. How you for meet this guy?”

I saw her at my sisters’ wedding, and she gave me quite the hug (and it wasn’t because I was just in from school). Aunty was warm like that. She said I had become chubby and worried that if I had hit that in only two months, say “wahala dey o!”

The Monday after the wedding, she flew to Lagos to start chemotherapy, the rest of that story is what I heard this evening.

On to the baby boy; I met him first when he was like two months old, and I remember always complaining that he was tiny. I was scared of carrying him because I just felt I would do something wrong. He was the cutest baby ever, you know, one of those children who only cry because they want to eat or sleep; not the ones that cry so you stand, then so you sit, then so you dance, and even when you’re standing on your head they’ll still be bawling!

He was peaceful, and had the best laugh. I loved carrying him after he passed 4 months, and the best parts of my day would be playing with him before I went to work in the morning, and immediately I got home in the evening.

My favourite memories of him would be singing into his ear whenever he cried or was restless, he would either chuckle, or laugh (depended on if I was singing Terry G or Luther Vandross).

I also loved strapping him to my back, even though every time I did I would complain to every listening ear that my boobs would sag from the pressure. Yet whenever I saw his mom or anyone wanting to ‘back him’ I would hustle till I got him (and then of course complain about my boobies again).

He had a hole in his heart, was discovered early. Why him? Why her? Death is cruel. I’m not nuclear to either but if tears was all it took to bring them back, I would have single handedly made it happen.

My darlings, rest in the bosom of our Lord. Aunty I can be sure you’ll have Jesus cracking up with your jokes, and baby I hope you remember the songs I sang for you. Sing for Jesus babe, regardless of the artist.

My heart is with both families and I understand and forgive you that I’m the last to know.

Death is cruel.

  1. Plumbline says:

    Just less than a month ago, I was at a Naming Ceremony of a baby born to a close family friend d baby was rushed to the hospital due to complications just a day to the naming and about a week after, she was gone..second baby she’s losing, and they were birthed via Ceasarian! In all these, God comforts us all..


  2. Rita Eghujovbo says:

    really touching Chioma. God rest their souls. (U made me cry though I knew them not). Its always heart breaking to loose a loved one my sista.


  3. Nothing can be said to substitute that eerie feeling, that downcast heart or that broken emotion that the thought of death brings; and when it strikes it;s even more devastating. Dear sister and friend, i commiserate with you and understand how the pain chord has been struck. But be rest assured that God shall comfort you. Be strong dear.


  4. agk says:

    Why do people we love die when we need them d most? So so sad


  5. […] Death is cruel. ( […]


  6. […] for whatever reason. I’ve written about death before, when I lost a dear uncle, when we lost a baby and an aunty in a week, and after attending a service at an Anglican church; the sermon was on death and it touched my […]


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