Ok, so for a little while now I’ve been reproducing stuff from my old blog (Chronicles of the Fairy GodSister) here because I want everything to be in one place. Or maybe because I took sometime to go through the blog and I laughed so hard at some of the chronicles I decided to let you share that laugh with me!
Below is another one of them, written in August 2009 while I was holidaying in London. Enjoy!
Hey y’all! Did you miss me? Awww, I missed me too! I almost felt like a part of me was dying but putting pen to paper has brought that part back to life! Somebody shout halleluyah!!! Ha ha!!!
Ok, to the gist for today, I was at Marks and Spencer yesterday with a friend to buy some stuff. Naturally we strolled towards the lingerie section and boy did we feed our eyes! I must say we fed our eyes ‘wisely’ though, considering the global economic meltdown and stuff…..yup! Nigerian that she is, she noticed some ladies ‘smiling’ into a room and not to ‘carry last na’ (as a Wafi girl), she asked and we were told they were going in for a bra fitting. After confirming that it was free (not even 99p), we wrote our names and waited our turn. As a fairy (or in fairyland), we don’t do fittings because ‘those things’ come perfect (naturally, eat your heart out)! I decided to still go sha, just to get the experience. Got that? Ok. Trust whites now, the ladies doing the thing were called fitness experts….dunno, I just kinda thought that was what you called people who did all the weight loss, keep-fit stuff. Anyways, in these days of titles like life coach, wellness consultant, everybody-needs-a-title, I think I’ll soon start calling myself either fairy coach, fairy expert, or even fairy consultant!!!
Anyways, so the lady measured my friend two times (of course I won’t tell you how) and then said she was a ….(PG)!! After telling her one or two other things about the region in question, she asked (very sweetly) if she could bring some for her to try out. She brought o, my Wafi girlfriend tried them and they were absolutely lovely……till she looked at the price tag (at this point I was reeling in laughter). She said she told the lady ”akshually*, I don’t like white”. ”Oh”! The lady said, ”we stock them in different colors and specifications…..”. ”Ok, my dearest friend said, go and bring now, I’ll just wait; bring one pink and one blue”. I’ll end the story by saying the white lady is probably still waiting for her!!!
Moving on…..wait o, why are your eyes running to & fro this screen? Oh!! You’re waiting for my own ‘fitting’ tale? Ok, ok, I’ll tell you. She recognized my ‘fairyness’ & said I didn’t need a fitting (duh)!
While we walked home my mind wandered to the darling country I’ve been hovering over for a while – 9ja (hope the editor of a certain paper doesn’t see this…) and i replayed another buy-underwear-day. Again my friend and I went to the market, located the underwear section (lingerie would be too much) and voila!! ”Sister come, I get your size, my color come and see firm bra for you o, sister, oyinbo, my color, black beauty, come and buy!!
We wove through the maze, followed the least crazy looking of the guys (funny how 99 percent of the people selling feminine stuff are guys….chronicle for another day) and he had a lot of beautiful stuff, really beautiful stuff.
After some small talk, he looked at her (yes, there), brought four out and they were…….wait for it….perfecto/exactment/on point! Amazing!!
Good people, John Legend said there are some things that heaven only knows……this is one of them…..have a great week!!!!
- How to find the right bra size (savingsmaster.com)