Ladies!!!! This thing called beef….

Posted: March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Recently I walked into a lounge with my cousin and his fiancée with a couple of friends and their partners too. Shout out to those who have already made the mental note about me being unattached, errr, that’s not what this is about!

A friend had just graduated and we wanted to make it a special evening for him. We were all dressed to the nines: new outfits and hair styles, I was on point! You know that moment when you look in the mirror and tell yourself: ‘choi! I’m fine sha!’ That’s how I felt, that I had trumped every potential hot babe in that lounge (because we ladies dress up for ourselves, not the guys).

We got to the lounge late, with the confidence of chubby penguins. The tables we had reserved had been taken over by some ladies who at the moment were giving us the dressing down of our lives with their eyes. My God! One of them looked at me with so much venom; if looks could kill her eyes would have wiped out my family using me as a point of contact!

Wish I could tell you about the champagne popping ‘competition/incident’ that followed; it was as hilarious as it was silly. Did I mention the ‘pepper eye’ was only for us chics? By the end of the night these ladies were grinding on the men but still rolling their eyes at us. I came away from that evening thinking, ‘ki lo de? Why do women hate/dislike/beef other women’? Why do we feel the next woman has to be the enemy even before we get to know them?

Before you absolve yourself of guilt, have you ever been among your peers (guys or girls) and the first (and probably only) comment you can offer after sizing up another female, has to be nasty? Every other lady has to be an example of what not to wear, sometimes even how not to be created? Are you in the ‘I get along more with guys’ club? Or the ‘if-she’s-rich-she-has-to-be-doing-something-wrong’ school of thought? Of course if it’s a guy he’s hard working, but a lady? Noooooooo.

Does every female look like a potential hawk waiting to snatch your innocent ‘she-made-me-do-it’ (in)significant other? Do you think the only reason the other lady is in your office is to take your job and so before the ink on her employment letter dries you make it your life’s goal to frustrate her out of the place?

It’s funny, but very sad too; when did we stop looking out for each other? I stumbled on some research in The Economist where researchers tried to find amongst other things, which would hurt a prospective female employee more, a CV with a photo or not. Conclusion? “Old fashioned jealousy led women to discriminate against pretty (female) candidates”. Seriously?

Straight talk ladies, quit it! And I have a few ways to help.

  1. If there’s something you find you’re beefing another lady for, 80% of the time it’s because you don’t have it. So get it and move on, or realize you can’t get it, and move on!
  2. Know this: you appear petty, unappealing, and insecure when you go on this hate route around guys. They might laugh at your nastiness but trust me, you’re less a lady in their sight.
  3. Deal with yourself: sometimes all the hate is a manifestation of deeper issues; get help before it gets out of hand.

Have I said all women are perfect, that I haven’t been hurt (severally) by my lady friends? No. But hating on a total stranger? Beneath me. The golden rule doesn’t isolate gender. We shouldn’t.


  1. JMAD says:

    I did some article a while ago and I found out its really not about the guys anymore rather the war is between us ladies. Its interesting how we get attched quickly to that new employee who’s male but if she’s female emmmmm our antennas spring up to be careful around her. I’ve been around guys more than I’ve been with ladies partly cos’ of what I studied in school but truth is I’m learning to appreciate female company now. Recently had a small gathering of ladies, we were just three and we talked , laughed, mocked each other and prayed togeda and it was awesome. I think as ladies we should stop looking for gender equality and all that and deal with the war within ourselves. We should really be sisters. You know its kinda difficult seeing that lady succeding in something and you are not. A little secret I’ve learnt is to pray for such person thereby eliminating any trace of jealousy and what you wish for someone has a way of coming back to you.(*wipes forehead* this is almost another post)
    Nice piece dear.
    Good job.


    • Thank you JMAD! Nice that you hung out with ladies and had fun! Did that recently, four ladies holed up in a hotel room for a weekend; we kept getting calls from the Reception to stop disturbing! Was an amazing weekend…

      It amuses me when another lady eyeballs or glares at me, always does. I would be happier if they smiled though, it’s definitely easier!


  2. ayeesha says:

    Perfect!!!! So apt, so true! A real woman helps the next woman shine!
    CC: thumbs up


  3. thermochic says:

    LooooL!!!!! I’m glad someone had to write abt this strange behaviour of ours…. Its true o, we dress up for ourselves! LoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL


  4. thermochic says:

    For real, women dress up for themselves – ‘battle of the baffs’


  5. mickeymoye says:

    On point! Beef is so tiring


  6. Linda Ogechi says:

    Beef is real!!! Some women need to put the beef back on the meat rack and keep it moving. In other news, fairygodsister, why did you leave me and my blog? *wailing hysterically*


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