I changed two bulbs today! Whoop!!
Before you roll your eyes, I agree it is not quite breaking news. It’s not like I’m not announcing I changed the bulbs with the power of my mind or my non-existent front hair. I didn’t split an atom right after changing the bulbs either. Lol.
Anyway, I’ve had two bulbs dead in the house for like three weeks, and because I have a mortal fear of the dark, each time I pass the now darkened areas I do so very quickly. Nearly wrecked my ankle a few days ago walking down the stairs in heels and trying to walk quickly. My enemies will not succeed! (Say amen, except you’re one of the enemies)
So, why do I have trouble with something as mundane as changing bulbs? A little story here. Added to my list of phobias (the dark, sharp sounds, horror movies, onions, etc), are electrophobia and hormephobia – the fear of electricity and getting shocked by electricity.
I’ve been ‘shocked’ before; it was an iron with exposed wires, sometime in secondary school. Plus, I had been sprinkling water on the shirt I was ironing so it would come out nicer, so my hands were wet.
Ladies and gentlemen? Just thinking about it and I can feel a ‘zing’ shoot through my body.
And then I remember watching my brother flip a light switch and for some reason we all cannot explain till today, he got zapped! The switch was fine, nothing was exposed. The current was fine too, and even if it was fluctuating I’ve never heard of current passing through plastic (might be possible). But I watched it throw him. Not out of the building (lol), but it did. God being merciful, that’s where the story ends; he’s fine but I’ve never forgotten.
And since that day, nothing. Not like I was a fan of meddling with gadgets or anything to do with wires in the first place anyway so this was just convenient. If I could avoid it, I would, and I did.
My aunty Pat though, she studied electrical engineering in school and was the master of cutting and joining wires and cables, depending on the circumstance. And because she knew yours truly was/is a scaredy cat on many levels (rolling my eyes), she would always ask me to ‘test it’. Me? Lol. Never happened in Nigeria, I never stayed around her long enough to get asked again!
But in our ‘sanctuary’ here in London, it was just both of us most of the time. One time a bulb died and she asked me to change it. I started laughing but she gave a lecture about what I would do if it was just me in the house and all the bulbs died at once (and I remember saying I would move out immediately because the thing that could take out all the bulbs at once would be able to harm me too!) Lol.
Somehow she got me to change one (after we cut the power to the entire house), and I was so pleased, I must have changed a couple more, just for effect.
But then she passed (God rest her soul), and these silly bulbs went out three weeks ago. Alone in the house now, I resigned to my little sprint down the stairs. Till today. I went to the store, and I got new ones.
And I changed the bulbs aunty, all by myself.
I miss you, and I love you forever.