GTB and I. One week one trouble.

I’ve been a GTBank customer since 2003 or 2004; I’ve written about GTBank twice. First when I went to their bank to get my ATM and after delaying me for about two weeks, I went into the bank, and the staff felt they needed to finish taking their photographs before they attended to the customers. Ended with them sending the card to my house in London via DHL.

Second time it was in praise of Ikalone Udo, a super-efficient lady who set up my business account in one visit to the bank after because of stress I’d abandoned the idea 18 months before. I was so impressed I wrote about the experience, tweeted the link at GTB too. Unfortunately she has since left GTBank, won’t be surprised if they hurt/upset her.

So, why am I writing? Numerous reasons. What has GTBank done again?

5th of December: I called GTConnect, and after explaining that my brother in Malaysia was stranded because they’d blocked his card again (FOR NO REASON) and didn’t tell him, they allowed me conference-call him and 27 minutes after, his card was unblocked. Emptied my phone of airtime but, no worries.

GTB’s naira Mastercard prides itself as being able to work anywhere in the world.

Apparently Malaysia isn’t part of that world because he hasn’t been able to use his card on a funded account to pay his fees. Why? That’s for GTBank to tell us.

So he doesn’t miss out on school, we decided he’d transfer the money to my naira account, and then I’d either do a transfer directly to the school, or send via MoneyGram back to him. First off though, he’d have to move the money to me.

He doesn’t have a token (it wasn’t ready the last time he came) so he got in touch with the bank and they asked him to fill out a form adding me as a beneficiary so this could be sorted.

He did this, sent it back. TWO days and a phone call after he was told his signature and house address were irregular. He changed them, sent them back. Sent a follow up email, called, nothing.

I called the bank this morning (19th December); spoke to a Chima Ikpe (gave him reference numbers (39xxxxxx, 39xxxxxx), his 01xxxxx and my account details 004xxxxx, etc.) who said the bank contacted my brother and that I should speak to him. He sounded extra confident so I rang my brother who confirmed what I knew: he had called the bank again and was asked to resend the documents (third time now), which he did immediately. No response.

I called back, this time spoke to an Oluwadunsin Mogaji who I was a little firmer with. I said I’d stay on the phone till the form was sorted, insisted on a resolution because I’m out of Nigeria next week. She placed me on hold, came back and said GTCare said they’d get in touch with my brother before close of business.

4.50pm. He said they’d emailed him asking him to call them so they’d verify/authenticate his request. I have a one question. Couldn’t they call him? You have his customer bio form. Why not call him?

Anyway, so he rang and after waiting on hold, network acting up et al, he hung up and asked me to call. I did. Spoke to a lady who said I couldn’t conference him in so I asked to speak with a manager. Exactly what happened on the 5th.

This lady put me on to Adeniyi Adeola, supervisor for the day. After I related the entire episode, gave them my name, brother’s name, our account details, and the reference numbers for the entire experience, he said the following

1. For security purposes they couldn’t do a conference call
2. They wouldn’t call him because their desk phones are not secure
3. He has to keep trying.

So much for being customer care. I was upset, raising my voice et al. Who refunds all the money we’ve spent calling just to remain on hold? How can one transfer form be rocket science?

Time? 5.35pm. Mr Adeola said to me that call traffic at this time was low and so my brother should call again and ask for him.

Can I say that there’s 7 hours time difference between Nigeria and Malaysia? So it was almost 1am – he was awake at that time JUST for GTBank.

He called, and was on hold till his airtime ran out. See screenshot below.

I was furious. Rang GTB, of course I was on hold again. By the time I was finally put through to the Mr Adeniyi Adeola, I was smoking from my ears. Told him of the time difference, reminded him I have to travel on Monday, reminded him of his false promise that traffic would be low, and asked what to do next, what he could do for my brother. He said, “Madam if there was anything else I could do I would have told you; your brother has to call.” That’s it.

I started saying something, I don’t remember what I was saying (I know I raised my voice well though) because I stopped, almost immediately. Why? He was laughing. GTB’s customer care rep, was laughing. I asked him what was funny, he said he wasn’t laughing; I’m neither daft, deaf, or without the ability to distinguish between speech and laughter. I knew I was spits away from tears so I thanked him for his time, promised to report to management, and I hung up.

Dear GTB, I’m tired. Exhausted. This is truly a most abusive relationship. Yesterday I was charged N9450 on an 800k withdrawal because the POS machines INSIDE the bank weren’t working (and my card didn’t work at the Hilton); I needed to pay for flights so I withdrew the money. Your staff (Christian somebody) couldn’t offer any solution to the faulty POS; afterwards he said I didn’t tell him I’d withdrawn money before, that there was nothing he could do.

I applied for an ATM card for my business account since August, I was only told in December (after I yelled) about an irregular signature. There is no week I’ve been in Nigeria I haven’t gone there. I didn’t complain because even though five months is a disgrace, the customer care guys in Abuja are lovely. Very lovely.

This isn’t healthy. I wasn’t born to talk to your staff, neither was my Twitter account registered in your name/for your benefit. Laughing at a customer? Apparently there are new depths you must explore.

I hear everything in Nigeria will kill a person. You currently top the list for me. So as soon as I get back in January, I will leave. I have tried. I will take my pennies and leave.