Archive for the ‘In memory of my aunty Pat’ Category

First off, this is the first time I’m writing on this blog since January 2018 and it is a big deal. A very big deal. For a very long time I have felt unable to write (at all), even when the writing was to be paid, and so just being able to write this today is a big deal for me. Almost emotional, yeah, it’s that big a deal. It’s like I blinked after the first article on money and 2018, and it’s October already. Wow.

So, what’s behind my writing today? I don’t know, to be honest. Is it the change of environment? I’m in The Hague at the moment and it better not be, obviously because I don’t live here. So what is it then? I think it just comes from a struggle to find myself and re-establish my long-lost channel for expression, but maybe also because I feel like I want to take charge of this aspect of my life again. I’m not sure if it will be another 9 months before I write something else here, but what’s important is I’m going to try. Maybe I’ll even redecorate the blog, make it prettier, host it independently, I don’t know yet. But I’m going to try, and that’s what matters.

Wow. Incredible that it’s almost the end of 2018. What did you hope to achieve this year? Are you on the way to achieving them? It’s a bit of a mixed response for me to be honest – resounding success in some areas, and results that make me want to curl up and hide in some others. But I am grateful. Dang, I’m grateful.

I’ve been loved this year – professionally – having people stand up for me, vouch for me at some of the lowest points in my career has been such a boost, such an encouragement, such a kick to the behind to not wallow in misery but to get up and get back out. Especially in the face of some unpleasantness.

This year I’ve also rediscovered the power of having a girl-tribe that has your back! Whoosh! I’m convinced (have always been, by the way, just reaffirmed is all) that women do support women, and if you’re in the ‘women are their greatest enemies’ club maybe you need to check yourself, but also the women you are rolling with. Women have and continue to be my strongest advocates, and every day I become more intentional about being a rock for the ones I’m with, but also for the ones coming after me.

What else? This year I have taken steps I never saw myself even venturing close to, and all I can say is I can’t wait to share outcomes!

Lol. Let me reroute this piece before it reads like a round-up of my year please; there’s still so much lined up for now till Christmas, and I’m here for it. Bring on happier times please; bring on validation, affirmation, joy, laughter, money (amen).

Let’s just say I’m excited about this month, and I hope it brings more laughter and joy that September. I think I can count on one hand… Never mind. I’m just grateful for the presence of mind to be back here. I’m typing each line and just drinking in how much I’ve missed writing here. Phew.

How have you been? How’s your work coming? How’s your family? What’s popping in your life? What’s on the cards till the end of the year? Talk to me!

Be well.

The Fairy GodSister.




In the last five days or so, there has been one reference to my aunt or the other. And each time I’ve smiled. Not because I don’t miss her (and I miss her terribly), but because… I don’t know.

I think of all the times she said things like, “it will get better, this thing you don’t seem to have now, no be this life? You go get am tire.” If only she knew how true her words were!

I stumbled on one of the songs that helped me get through her passing this morning, and I played back the 22nd of July 2013 real quick… how from a phone call about 5am my life literally became a blur for months on end. How I refused to go to church for a while after she passed, and then getting super angry the day I finally went because the pastor started preaching about how God could heal everything, including cancer. I remember I was like, “yeah, and you had to preach this after it killed my aunt abi?” And of course that meant I didn’t go for a bit after that.

I remember when we checked to see if my nephew would remember her (he was like a year old when she passed), and of course he didn’t (I wonder what we were thinking). I felt a little upset he didn’t remember the person who was literally his nanny when we all went to work, who was there from the first day of the pregnancy, encouraging my sister, spoiling her (because of her own struggles with pregnancy pregnant women could do no wrong in her eyes, lol), how she spoiled my nephew with gifts, and how he loved playing with her, and then falling asleep on her big body. I think that was all the children around then, who didn’t want to sleep on Big Mummy’s body?

I miss her o, kai.

I remember attending Winners’ Chapel Durunmi, and us queuing for puff puff every Sunday after service. It was like an unspoken ritual. Even if we were all angry with each other, we would still buy and so would start talking to each other from eating the puff puff in the car.

Aunty was a unifier; like she couldn’t stand for malice, quarrels and all of those kind of things. I remember quarrelling with an ex once and he called her to report me (the gall of that man). She invited him to the house and we were sat in her office. She was trying to ‘settle the fight’ but I guess we were arguing too much. Know what she did? She got up, left the office, and locked us both inside. Said she wouldn’t open the door till we had sorted out whatever was making us argue like we were strangers. Lol!! I nearly popped an artery from anger! But she didn’t open the door! We eventually settled down, had a conversation, and then she opened the door.

I love her. I really do. Years ago someone stole my parents’ numbers from my phone and sent them lies about me. My parents (resident outside Nigeria at the time) rang her and she stood up for me. Not only did she do that, she went to the person I had wronged according to the lies, had a conversation with her (that one had only sweet things to say about me), and got the woman to call my folks to tell them not to be bothered about whatever message they had received because it was a lie. I didn’t know she’d done this till my folks called to say, “this is what your aunty Pat did”.

God bless her, I have stories for days! Interestingly, she ended up telling me which of my friends had done the texting, and about a year or so later, we were right. She’d been cautioning me about a friend who she said had envy in her eyes and would rubbish me if she could; one who would come spend nights with me but would say things like, “na wa, how can only you have this or that?” I never took it seriously, till an incident involving a job a few years later. I’m sure I heard the Yoruba proverb, “the insect that kills the vegetable lives on it” at least a million times when she was alive.

The memory of the righteous is blessed. You’re blessed aunty. I love you and miss you everyday.

I wish, I wish, I wish. If all my wishes came true, beggars would ride (fly sef), Boko Haram would be history, Nigeria would truly exemplify ‘Giant of Africa’ in words and in deeds, and my darling Aunty Pat wouldn’t have succumbed to cancer. Nah, she wouldn’t. She would have beat it so bad she’d have obliterated it, never to trouble anyone else, never to cause anyone the pain and suffering her exit left us with. The emptiness, gaping void…

I miss her everyday – the memory of her in my heart is living, breathing, possessing a full life of its own. There is so much to catch up on, stories to exchange, gossip to whisper (and laugh about), shopping and travel to get through, foods to cook (her fried rice is legendary and till date the only way I know to make it) – there’s so much she’s missing out on because she’s not here!

I miss her. Kai. I miss her in ways I cannot explain.

All the prophecies she’s made (about my friends and I) have come to pass – plus the ones she said would attempt to stab me in the back o, the things I worried about, things I wanted to achieve – God has taken care of, just like she encouraged me. And she’s not here to laugh and say, “no be me tell you say make you no worry?”

I was in church on Sunday (House on the Rock The Refuge) and in the midst of dancing my heart out in appreciation to God, I teared up with a speed I didn’t think was possible. Why? The choir sang a song my aunty used to sing, even in the height of her pain. Gorgeous woman.

Funny, I was chatting with my sister earlier this evening, telling her of something else God sorted for me today. Guess what, our comments were the same! Different wording, but the same thought: we would have wanted to share this with her, and we just knew what would happen when we did!

2014-12-16 05.58.27

Aunty, quick message to say I love you loads. And I miss you everyday. Keep resting, I can imagine you and Aunty NK are causing quite the ruckus up there, keeping God and the angels entertained. Give them kisses from us here ok?

Men and brethren,

I woke up to news on Twitter, saw cryptic tweets saying things like, “how can”, “God forbid”, etc. I knew it was a religious leader when I saw a tweet that said, “I felt this confused when Bimbo Odukoya died in that plane crash”. Told me it was sudden, unexpected too (not like death is ever expected/totally prepared for).

Two minutes later, I saw it was Myles Munroe. And his wife. And seven others onboard an executive jet. One event, nine lives gone. Dr Myles Munroe would have been speaking at his 2014 Global Leaders Conference (billed to start today). But that’s been overtaken by events.

I was stunned. Shocked. Confused. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does our all-knowing God (who I know sits in the heavens and the earth is His footstool, and His eyes roam to and fro the earth, searching for those whose hearts are perfect towards him, etc.) allow these things to happen? Why? How? The questions didn’t stop coming.

My heart bleeds for their son and daughter Chairo and Charisa Munroe whose loss I cannot dare imagine. One day, a part of a family, the next, last two standing. And in such circumstances. My heart bleeds, and I pray that God holds them, comforts them, speaks to them, calms them the way only He can. I pray that God helps them get through the numbness, the questions, the agony – I cannot stop praying for them.

When my aunt passed, I felt all these things, and more. I recently found out my mom (particularly) was worried I’d suffered some sort of breakdown. My aunty is one in a million people, but she is one person. Chairo and Charisa Munroe just lost literally everyone. Sweet Jesus have mercy!

It is indeed a sad day for the church. For the world. For the families and friends of the 9 who perished aboard that Lear Jet in the Bahamas yesterday.

Strengthen the body of Christ, dear Lord. A lot of us don’t understand how and why, and this is the window the Devil needs to sow doubt and murmurs in our heart. Help us. Bring comfort to the families of all on board.

May the souls of the departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.


PS – Bomb blast in a science and technology school much earlier in the day, while the students were on the Assembly Ground. Suicide bomber. Latest count puts casualties at 30. Horrible. We cannot continue like this. We just can’t. #Nigeria

PPS – Saw this on Facebook a few minutes ago.

Screenshot 2014-11-10 10.10.57


I remember in August I wrote about a body I saw on the road at night, driver sped off. Victim died under a pedestrian bridge. Please, tell someone today. Pedestrian bridges are for pedestrians/human beings, just as express lanes/ways are for cars/things with wheels (excluding bicycles in the name of God!) Please.

PPPS – Let your life count. You know what you need to do. If you don’t, ask your creator. But, let your life count for something – today, tomorrow, everyday. Let people remember us for the smiles we put on their faces, the ways we made their lives just a bit better than the way we met them, and the values/principles we lived by. let it count.

God keep us.


*UPDATE – That number has risen to 50 dead, and more than 70 with various stages of injuries. I’m heartbroken. What was their crime? They were killed cos they were in school? How do we expose to this kind of violence? How do we leave kids with memories that paint school as a place of death? No trauma counselling, nothing. How have we stood by and watched life in the North East reduce to scrounging, to fear, to survival? Heartbreaking. God forbid.

UPDATE 2 – I have just updated the post based on new information (which I missed and I apologize) about Charisa not being on board the plane. She is alive and well. *Loads of hugs to them both*

I was at House on the Rock The Refuge today the 31st of August, a few hours before the ’ember months’ broadcasts start flying around on Blackberry, Twitter, and Facebook. Miss me with that nonsense please. God bless you.

I digressed; church was many shades of amazing! To be honest, the only church that compares to HOTR for me is my home church, Hillsong. There’s something about the amount of care and preparation that goes into readying their services that makes it super exciting for me.

I was blessed by the testimonies, especially the lady whose sister God snatched from death, and the guy who now has two flexible, well-paying jobs. There was the single mom whose son has now come to Christ and is now in university and away from his rough friends, and yes, there was the guy who heard a word from Pastor Goodheart in 2001, ‘ran’ with it and has now received a mandate letter from the Federal Government to bring his 9-year-old dream to life! Exciting stuff, God is truly amazing!

And then Asu Ekiye took to the stage, and I couldn’t sit down! Yes! Yes! Yes! From the first song till his team left the stage, I was catapulted to several times in 2013 when my darling aunty Pat and I would play loud music on the days before she fell ill, and then days when she didn’t feel a lot of pain.

Sometimes, I would wake up to Yinka Ayefele, some other times it would be Kefee (of blessed memory), and then of course it would be Asu Ekiye blasting through the roof. How no one ever reported us for disturbance I don’t know, and you know how paper-thin walls can be in England.

It always annoyed me when she did that (because I have the craziest sleep patterns); she’d leave the music on (at its highest), and then open my door just so I’d hear her sing along to it. When I opened my eyes she’d say, “eye no go rotten” or “sleep no be death”. If I frowned, she’d say, “I just came to visit you o, you don’t know if I’m an angel”, and that would make me smile. I miss her to pieces.

And so when Asu Ekiye started to minister, I danced my heart out in honor of God, and in honor of my aunty. I flashed back to the times we’d play these Nigerian traditional tunes, and then I’d dance to show her the steps I’d put on during my traditional marriage (even when I wasn’t dating anyone). I remember asking to check if my bum was shaking or not. Lol!

I miss her. I miss her. Kai.

P:S – At this point I shut my moleskine and concentrated on the service. So I wouldn’t cry too much. 🙂

I remember that morning like it was yesterday. I’d been in that service the day before where the pastor talked about losing his wife of 41 years to cancer, and I felt so sorry for him, I’m sure I was tearing up. To be honest, I was thinking about a relationship I was in at the time, and while not expecting either of us to pass on to cancer, was wondering what we’d say of each other in 30, 40, 50 years.

I remember I refused to think about the purpose God had even in his wife’s passing – I didn’t even want to hear of it. I remember my mind drifting to the letter I’d written my Aunty Pat, seeing as I’d been unable to speak to her in about a week. I’d written it in both pidgin and in plain English, and pretty much done a roundup of gist on everyone we knew… Aunty loved tatafo, the good kind.

I got home, had lunch, day went on pretty normally, but then I couldn’t sleep. Anyone who knows me knows I have the worst sleeping patterns every side of the universe but the night leading into the 22nd was different. I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t figure out why. Didn’t quite have pending work, I wasn’t upset, or hungry; I just couldn’t sleep. I tried, but I was bored with the movies I tried to watch.

About 5am I got a text. “The doctor said she’s gone”. Didn’t register, and I didn’t have the number stored, so I rang. And then I screamed. And then…

Apparently she’d passed on @ 6.55pm, exactly one year today.

I remember collapsing in Olamide’s arms when he got off the train at our stop, remember him? The one you’d call ‘ajebo’ because you couldn’t get over a grown man having a water bottle!

I remember begging God to bring you back, I remember promising to be a better person, anything. I remember asking my dad one month after at your funeral if you could still wake up. I promise I wouldn’t have been scared, I would have hugged you!

I miss your hugs aunty, you always had one for me. You always had one for everyone.

I could talk with you about A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G, anything on the face of this earth. you were the perfect mix – heaven bound yet earthly aware; super ‘churchy’ but in touch with the earth and the inhabitants thereof.

Aunty also had a laugh (with her tooth missing on the side), she always had a word of encouragement, a prayer, and she never delayed to put resources in things she believed in. So if you met her (and this could be random people), she’d talk, pray with you, then deploy money towards solving whatever the issue was.

And she was so discerning! She could tell just by looking at my friends which of them would screw me, and 11 times out of 10, she was right. I remember Skyping with ‘a potential’ one night and she was watching tv close by. She said, “I have no faith in that person, his voice doesn’t sound right”. That relationship never took off, lol.

I miss you aunty, this past year has been incredible. Everyone has grown! The kids, the adults, true natures have risen to the surface, there have been births, progress in different areas, and some places have been just a bit dodgy. Everyone misses you though, that’s one constant in all of this. The number of times I’ve heard ‘why did she die’, ‘if to say Pat no die’ (and other variants), I’d be a millionaire if I was stacking coins each time.

I’ve missed you everyday since you passed – God I miss you. I feel alone sometimes aunty, wish I could borrow you from the angels just to play catch up a few hours each month. I will never understand why you left aged 41, I’m done trying to understand it.

I miss you. I love you, forever.


Aunty, do you remember when we signed up at the gym in Bolingo Hotels for a year?


It was good fun! I remember heading there early in the mornings, and then stopping at a random ‘Mama Put’ on the way back to buy rice and beans with all sorts of meat. Whether we cancelled out all the hard work at the gym or not, we didn’t care!

Ha ha ha… You this my crazy, super incredible aunty. I miss you to pieces! What didn’t we do together?

I remember you coming into my room (or your room – cos it was yours) without knocking, and when I screamed, ‘I’m dressing up’, you left, knocked, came in, and then said, “as if wetin you carry reach even half of my own”. Lol…

I’ve got stories for days aunty… You made sure of that.

You taught me that hired help can become family – who else keeps a driver and a nanny for 12 years? Everyone was welcome, everyone felt at home.

Remember that time when it seemed like all of us in the house were falling ill? You called for family prayers that evening, including the Muslim nanny. When she protested, you said, “abeg come let us pray jor, as if you’re not just recovering too. You no go come make we beg God?” Lol.

Incredible woman.

I miss you. I love you. Lots and lots.

Do you remember, when the family was everything? Do you remember, it was so long ago, and so much has changed.. I wanna go back… wanna go back to those simple days… I wanna go but now we’ve grown and gone our separate ways..

John Legend. Bliss.

Not like we grew up and went our separate ways (even though in the last year I know I’ve grown in leaps and bounds), but you went on to heaven aunty. And that’s ok, God knows why he took you so early, and I’ll be a good daughter and not question too much.

But I miss you, lots and lots. Hasn’t gotten any easier since the day I heard.

I wonder if things would have been different if you’d stayed with me in London, if you’d still be here. I wonder if you stopped fighting, or if God told you something He hasn’t shared with us yet.

Sleep well.

I love you. Unconditionally. Everyday.

So, a little backgrounder to this article. Sometime in January a friend ran a series on her blog for people to testify about their year and I sent in this piece. Somehow she didn’t get round to using it.

I was searching for some document this evening (28th March) and I stumbled on it! And so I thought I’d use it for a end-my-first-quarter type of thank you post. And so, here’s my testimony of how brilliant my year has been so far, obviously I’ve added a bit more to the original post – God has really rocked these first three months for me! The additions are in green.

Ready? Let’s do it! Whoop!


I Testify!!

2014! Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude! Nothing more, this is the year that God and I have agreed will be full of gratitude alone. Gratitude.

2013 was a difficult year. Ooh, very difficult. So difficult some days I was scared that one day I would do something to hurt myself. It was incredible, wearing a smile outside because people were ‘counting on me to smile’ and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, but I was really struggling inside. Like I really struggled.

To put this in perspective, I’m not a stranger to rough patches, but I’ve always seen the good in every unpleasant situation, felt like it would get better. But when I woke up on the 21st of July to news that my aunty Pat had passed, the term ‘numb’ came alive. Ooh it came so alive it nearly consumed me.

Can I say a big thank you to Olamide Craig (@RevDrCraig) here? I rang him, and he left school and his preparations for his exams, literally came running. I remember kneeling down by the train station, wailing. He stayed through my rants, tears, and only left after I slept. God bless you for me Craig, God bless you richly. And boy am I excited you scaled the exams! Proud of you baby!

By November it started dawning on me that the weight I put on in the hospital caring for my aunt wasn’t planning to ‘leave me alone’ (lol), and that was a very present worry. One day on Twitter looking through the handles of some fitness experts (if looking /watching Insanity curled up in bed with a hot drink could scare the pounds off my body I’d be anorexic by now I promise), I chanced upon an idea that became the #31Days31Writers project after I tweaked it a bit.

Amazing! Whoop! It’s one of the best things I did last year! Loved the distraction it became, and when the stories started coming in, oh what a joy! Mrs. E’ sent in an entry too, she was up on Christmas Eve! I’m excited at the Christians I’ve been exposed to and become friends with via this blog; it’s such a blessing to be part of a blossoming community of young people who love the Lord!

It wasn’t all gloom and doom though. Matter of fact, when I said I’d send in an entry, it was actually a challenge for me to find things to be grateful for.  All I had to do was think, and boom – testimony after testimony. Have time for a few?

In 2013, I was sought out on LinkedIn by the project manager of MTV’s Staying Alive Foundation to provide social media consultation for Shuga. We’re looking at bigger engagement for the project this year, and I’m proper excited about that!

In September I stood in for a friend (@Chude) at Social Media Week London, moderating a panel of people I can honestly say I wouldn’t have been able to meet all at once otherwise. Off that event, by December I had gotten two all expenses paid speaking trips for 2014. One of them is in three weeks (butterflies of life and destiny!) That event was Social Media Week in Hamburg, and God really came through for me on so many levels! There are new opportunities off that, and it’s all very exciting! 

In the same 2013, I went to bed and woke up every morning, no struggle. I traveled (and I like to move around), and there never was an evil report (except me missing a flight to Aberdeen, falling asleep on the train back home and therefore missing my stop, losing my train ticket – all in one morning, sigh). Even in that, there were funds for another ticket, strength to go back to the airport that same evening, and a safe trip to and fro. God loves me walai!

My family is healthy. Big miracle. We might have fallen ill once or twice, but we always got better. I remember crying to church one Sunday in October cos my sister sent me a photo of my nephew with bumps all over his body, suffering from a reaction to something. But, he got better, and now feeds himself! My darling boy! Boo Boo is playing football now (he’s all of 18 months, and I’m already looking for scouts for an academy! Hit me up if you know someone!)

Speaking of healing, God healed my dad of some strange, excruciating pain in his shoulder, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

I tasted love in 2013, met an awesome young man. I’m excited at the big and great things my Father has designed for me this year, for the grace and humility that led me to read books, listen/watch messages, especially in January. I’m growing (in faith and in my mind), learning about myself, amassing tips I will adapt as necessary; readying myself for the great man and home He has designed for me. And I can’t wait!

I asked God to lead me by hand this year, and not only has He been doing that (patiently, because I know I can be a piece of work), but He’s linked me with people I am accountable to, people I can openly talk to when I struggle, and not worry about anything. This is where I’m grateful for Francesca, Tomi, Wumi, and Tokunbo. Extraordinary women!

Bottomline, I’m not where I should be but ooh this year is so bright I’m excited at the things the rest of the months in the year will bring!

And so I testify today, of His goodness, and His mercy, and His grace, and His love, of His awesomeness and great glory.

I testify because there can never be a good enough explanation for God loving me the way He does, with all my flaws, imperfections and weaknesses. I can’t comprehend it (but then if I did, it wouldn’t be God na… He has to ‘show’ Himself)! Whoop!

I testify because I see 2014. Want to know what I’ve seen? I’ve seen a great year, full of peace, good news, love, hearing from and speaking to God, a complete dissociation from everything that doesn’t please Him, prosperity (oh yes, ooh yes), and immeasurable joy on every side.

This is the year, and I testify!

What are you grateful for? Share!



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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! What are you up to today? What love-related activity are you going to partake in ‘in the name of love’? Huh? What did you say? Ok, whatever you do, let it be stuff you can defend before God o!

What am I doing today? Nothing extra to be honest, according to Pinky and the Brain, “same thing we do every night, try to take over the world”, lol. I’ve got quite a bit of work to get through, next week is pretty busy so the more items I can tick off my to-do list today, the easier next week will be. #Hustleface

I’m also going to Jesus House tonight with my girl Toks, looking forward to that! Apparently this branch of the Redeemed Christian Church of God have a 24 hour praise event going on and what better way to spend the evening than in my Father’s House?  Plus I haven’t been to Jesus House since Christmas of 2010, so it’d be nice to fellowship there again. Yeah, so we’re going to go.

I’m also going to have lunch at Jamie’s Italian too, fingers crossed I can get the exact table we got this day, last year.

See, it is/was my awesome aunty Pat’s birthday, and it was just the both of us in the house so she asked me to suggest someplace we could go. We had a proper party planned over the weekend (caterer and everything) but she just felt like both of us should do something together. And since we were up to our eyeballs in Chinese, I suggested Italian. And so off to Bluewater we went. I will never forget it.

We ordered our starters, and when the mains came, she said, “is this it”? Lol! We ate, I was stuffed, she was not, so we ordered desserts.

Our bill came to just under £80 and when she paid, she said, “we should have used this money to buy perfume or clothes, stayed in the house and eaten our food jor! I’m still hungry!” Bless her.

We laughed, and went home. I’d given her the new DKNY perfume (aunty LOVED perfumes) – I don’t remember the name but it was the green of the 2013 apple series they did – she loved it! Thing is, aunty loved whatever she was given. Even if it was beneath her (and she’d never make you feel that way), she would accept it with thanks and one of her very big smiles!

Later that night she begged me to make semovita for her. After she ate, she said, “yes, now person know say im don chop!!” We both dozed off soon after.

Aunty. It’s already been 7 months since you went on to glory, and 8 months since the last time I saw you. I miss you so much, and I love you forever.

Happy birthday aunty!



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