#31Days31Writers: @BisiAlimi says friendships should be renewed yearly

Turn up!

Bisi’s on the blog today, and I’m so excited! Bisi has been my friend for a few years now (I remember we met at the service of songs for the late Remi Lagos in South Kensington), and I’m so proud of the man he’s become (is becoming), and grateful that he’s alive and doing very well. And that his celeb status is on the rise mahn, can’t wait to see what 2016 brings for him!

He was on the blog in 2013 (never mind he says 2014) and so when I asked again for this year and he sent in an entry less than 48 hours after I asked, I was like ‘turn up’!  Bisi is special, and I know you’ll enjoy it as much as I did!

My name is Bisi, Bisi Alimi; yes I love that Bond appeal to the way I say my name, it carries some weight with it, and please if you have a name like mine, you don’t have to apologise for flaunting it.

I was born in Nigeria over 40 years ago, but I am now a British citizen. No, I don’t carry a Nigeria passport and I am not sorry for that. So I will say as a matter of fact, that I am a British national, born in Nigeria to Nigerian parents.

Last year when Chioma asked me to join the legion of people that have something to be grateful for, I really had to search my diary and look for things to blow my trumpet for. I will be honest, 2014 was a defining moment in my life, and it was also the year that prepared the way for amazing 2014.

So in 2015, I have a lot to be thankful for. It is not every time you look back at your life in 12 months and say; “damn, what a funky year this has been.”

I can’t list it all, but I mean, I don’t even know where to start. The year started with some amazing news, but most important events in my life in 2015 were; my campaign against Nigel Farage and UKIP (Farage is the leader of the right wing group in Britain, and UKIP is his political party). At least, my campaign against him as been listed as one of the reasons he lost his election to the British House of Commons.

Then there was the talk at the Australia Medical Association annual general conference. The hall was packed full and the audience was amazing. I won’t forget that event easily, doing the first Moth Mainstage in London at the Union Chapel to a packed audience and then getting invited to do it again in New York.

There was also the listing of my Tedx Talk as one of the most inspiring queer talk of all time.

The media coverage that followed my life in 2015 was beyond my expectation. I will say thanks to all Nigerian bloggers for thinking me a source for news, most importantly Linda Ikeji, Bella Naija and Ladun Blog. I mean, without you guys, my speaking fee won’t have gone up.

Then I have to deal with listings after listings all over the world. I was listed in the UK Independent on Sunday Rainbow List as one of the most influential LGBT person in the UK and I was listed in number 19 out of 101. That for me was the biggest honour. I jumped from 80 to 19.

Then the G-List Society listed me as one of their 100 outstanding Black LGBT person for 2015, followed by True Africa naming me as one of their 100 True African for 2015. LGBTQ Nation nominated me as one of their “news maker for 2015”

I am also thankful to Ake Festival and Lola Shoneyin for inviting me to Nigeria to be part of the festival after almost 9 years since I left Nigeria. I met some badass amazing people and I can’t list them all here but you all know yourselves.

Finally, the icing on the cake for me was my engagement to the most amazing man in the world, my fiancé. Also meeting my in-laws in Australia as well as meeting my mum and bringing her to the UK.

Honestly, there is nothing I will undo about this year. I have learnt a lot. I mean, who wants to bother about the bad press, the bad news and the negative energy? I have grown up and I really don’t pay attention to things that don’t add value to my life.

One major thing I am taking into 2016, thanks to 2015, is that, there is nothing like friends for life. Every friendship should have membership renewal. I learnt that this year. I learnt that, when it comes to friendship, it is more about you than the other person. I have seen true colours of many people I called friends this year, and OMG, they were very sad and pathetic pictures and I really don’t want to see those pictures (or the people) in 2016.

That said; my year wouldn’t be complete without saying thanks to the many people that made my 2015 whole. Funmi Iyanda; I know I talk about you every time, but people have no idea how much impact you have had on my life. To Akin Akintayo, thanks for those calming reassuring words and happy 50^th birthday!

To Ayo Sogunro, thanks for being a good brother. My agency, Fresh Speakers; for being the best in the world. To all my fans (yes, me too I have fans now) for your messages of love and support, your tweets, Facebook messages and likes on Instagram. Thank you!

To every organisation I have worked for and with in 2015, thank you!

To my husband to be, Anthony thanks for putting up with my bullshit, and for the cuddles many nights I question myself. I started my foundation this year and a lot of people have devoted their time and energy to it; mostly importantly, the board. Thank you!

This is to 2016.

Thank you for coming through with this Bisi, here’s to a brilliant 2016!

One year ago I was on @Forakin’s blog!

Ok, let’s start from the fact that I don’t know the exact day Akin Akintayo (@Forakin) started blogging, and he featured me on his blog on the 1st of this year; I just know his 10th anniversary month was December, so I’m starting this month with that post!

He did such a gracious introduction for me on his blog that day, I blushed till I turned purple. Lol. The original link is here.

By the way, happy eleventh blogging anniversary Akin!

Taken outside @HillsongLondon on the 22nd of December 2013! There’s me, @Forakin, @Detola, and @Aninoritse from left to right! Credit: @MrNonsoObi

Here’s what I handed in, titled ’10 things I’ve learned in 10 years’.

10 years of blogging? Wow. Means Akin started blogging when I was…never mind. I’m in my 5^th year, and totally looking forward to my 10^th – wonder how it feels, to have stuck with this for a whole decade.

When Akin asked me to write for his 10^th anniversary as a blogger, I was excited for him, honored to have been considered, and then I became stumped because I couldn’t agree within myself on a topic. Somehow I started thinking about stuff I’ve been up to, and voila! What you have below.

Everyday in the last 10 years I have groomed myself, eaten a meal or two (or three or four or none – depending on the diet or religious circumstance). Everyday for all of those years I have had a nap during the day or at night, or not at all, dependent on the severity of the insomnia.

Everyday I have tried to improve myself a little bit, reading a paper or book, watching a talk/sermon/presentation; I have met and exchanged experiences with people, in the quest to sharpen iron with iron. Never mind that while some people rubbed me till I was splitting hairs, others were soaked planks of old wood each day I tried.

In the last 10 years I have loved. Not really 10 years though, 9 is a bit closer to the truth (shame on you if you feel you are a step closer to uncovering my age). I have loved and been loved, burned, and been burned, even scarred in one instance.

In the last 10 years I have owned three dogs: German Shepherd – Sir B, Italian Shepherd – Izzie, and Alsatian – Waffles. Losing all three of them at different times has made me appreciate animals, and convinced me that I won’t get another pet until I’m 100% convinced I won’t have to entrust their care to the hands of another.

In the last ten years I have learned ten things I want to share

1. Procrastination is the thief of time. And friendships, and ultimately, success.
2. If you work at something hard enough, you will either succeed or you’ll satisfy yourself that there is nothing there for you.
3. Half justice is just as bad as injustice. Maybe even worse. Same thing as one half of any story.
4. You are addressed the way you dress. And paid as you price yourself.
5. 10 friends will not play together for 10 years.
6. I love cooking, reading, sleeping. There are 10 other things before watching TV.
7. Garbage in, garbage out applies to everything, including your body, your work, relationship, etc.
8. Music is underrated. It is spiritual, magical; sometimes it works as a panacea.
9. It’s ok to be selfish. Do stuff for yourself every now and then.
10. You are your biggest fan, except you have my mom, and then she’s your biggest fan!

I’m thankful I know you Akin; you’re a perfect gentleman. And I hope that I’m on your blog again when you hit twenty; simply means you can’t ever stop writing! Congratulations dear, well done!

Hugs,

The Fairy GodSister.