Posts Tagged ‘chiomachuka’

How’s everyone doing?

Good weekend? Ready for the week? This is going to be one of my busiest but I thought I’d take a few minutes and say a big hello to everyone, play catch up a bit.

So my niece and nephew were ill, one had malaria and a tummy bug, and the other one had a cold that stretched at least two weeks, and she still had it after she gave it to me. We spent small time in the hospital, and that’s where the story about blood donation came from (I published that recently).

I’ve also done a bit of local travel, looking forward to when I can take a proper holiday… I owe myself two – one for my birthday and the other because life is short and we should take time off to rest and be quiet when we can. Amen?

God dey.

Work is alright… Moved into a new office in June and we’re getting settled in really nicely. Really thankful to God for that, and the immediate possibilities I see for expansion.

Still on work, got two interesting referrals recently, a stark reminder that clients, no matter how little, matter and an excited client post your custom might make a difference as much as 24 months after. I’m really thankful for the referrals, and now just need God’s help to ensure that we beat the standards we’re being held to. Amen?

On Saturday I was privileged to speak at my church’s business/entrepreneur summit, and I drew my topic/talk from some work I’d done for a client recently. I spoke on minding the gaps and facing the direction of travel. Corny I know but it was a good opportunity to fuse my love for trains with my experiences as a student, an employee, and now an employer. It was interesting for me to talk about some of the lessons I’ve learned, and how each step leads to the next, and the next, and the next. It was also very instructive to talk about the place of God in business, and the mistakes I’ve made simply because I ignored the still small voice telling me no. I had a good time, and I’m grateful for the opportunity.

What else? I’m happy. Sweet baby Jesus this daughter of God is happy. I am joy-like-a-river, peace-like-a-fountain, love-like-an-ocean brand of happy. Such a beautiful feeling. Everything in my life; experiences, joy, sadness, mistakes, successes; everything that I have seen has prepared me for where I am now, and I am thankful to God for His many blessings and precious gifts. There’s a new mercy every single day! And I’m loving it!

Finally, I need to get back in the gym. Don’t know why I’m typing this instead of renewing my membership but yeah, this child needs to be back in that place where more calories are burnt than piled on. Yep. This week is out of the question sha, and I’m not bothered in the least what you think! *sticks tongue out*

Finally finally, lol. My nephew moves to reception next school session! Whoop! He’s officially a big boy now! Interestingly, he’s slowly outgrowing the millions of hugs and kisses I drown him in, and he’s only four! I thought they didn’t start all of that till much later? Arrrrrghhhh! Bring back my baby! *sad face*

Finally finally finally, I got a birthday gift yesterday… I know o, this is still for the birthday that passed in May. Is the Lord laying it on your heart to send me a pressie? Harden not your heart biko!

How have you been? Are you keeping okay? Are you doing well? Want to share? Please do!


PS: A song in the back of my mind for a few days now has been “we are h-a-p-p-y, we are h-a-p-p-y, we know we are we are sure we are, we are h-a-p-p-y!” (If you went to primary school in Nigeria this should ring a bell… or two… or three… or four… I’ll stop here)!

Whoop! Our entry for today is a very dear friend who is using our hearts to do ‘tumbom tumbom’ by moving between Lagos and Abuja (don’t worry my dear you’re coming back next year)!

Tilly and I have been friends since 2008, and moved from Aso Radio to the working for the Queen (BBC World Service Trust, now Media Action) together. We’ve spent happy and sad times together, and have enjoyed many a turnup together! I’m excited that she’s on the blog today, and hope you enjoy her piece as much as I did!

I haven’t found the appropriate words to describe my year thus far. When it started, I had no resolutions nor defined plans. At the time, I was freelancing at a company where I was working for next to nothing but its attendant experience. A few friends thought I was crazy but for me it was also a period of penance -my Catholic background may have influenced this thought.

You see, I had made a judgement call late last year that cost me dearly and in Pharisee-like manner of over two thousands years past, I was handed over to be judged and I fell short. For a while I battled with self-doubt but had to  perfect the facade of ‘….’ Fortunately, my absolution came in form of a doppelgänger and she is one of the many things I am thankful for as I write. She’s fast become a mentor and friend. My confidence level now nko (you may ask), well it’s shooting through the ozone level!

I am thankful for my family; Iya Wale, Engineer, Wale, Lyna, Daniel & Daniela as well as Phil. We started the year in good health of mind and body, still are in top form and are confident in God that we will end the year happy and healthy.

I am also thankful for the realisation that my simplicity is my crown and my cross. I struggled for a while to accept this as I was often taken for granted but knowing how powerful it can be, I count this gift more than once when counting my blessings.

I am most grateful for my friends and acquaintances, too numerous to mention but especially for these two:
1. Okechukwu Jake Effoduh who has been my trusted partner, friend, cheerleader, style consultant and more rolled into one for many years. Those who know him will understand the depth of pride and admiration that fills my heart to be blessed with such a friend who is not only selfless but also grows in leaps and bounds daily.  Though we don’t see often, the expression “outta sight is outta mind” doesn’t resonate with us. #NuffSaid

2.  Omolola Faleye: her resilience and generosity I am in awe of. She’s been my guardian angel and I am thankful for her everyday and thrice on Sunday!😊

I am thankful for the unions of friends and births witnessed this year: for Big Mo and Willie; Franque and Oyin; Akin and Jola, Tega and Tracey – to mention a few.

I regret time spent second-guessing myself and a few epic moments when I didn’t tell someone off; they earnestly deserved it! For 2016, I wish and will work towards more laughter, a consistent walk with Christ, opportunities to travel the world and write, but most of all, ataraxia unlimited.

I am thankful for the ability to write this post for my dearest friend, Chico on my cracked-screen phone with 11% battery power on a hot night warding off mosquitoes, it means I can still feel something despite the tiredness that grips my body after a long day at a job I am most thankful for.

Laughter... Gorgeous girl...

Laughter… Gorgeous girl…

I think I took this picture!! I should consider photography as an alternate source of income, whatchu think?

I think I took this picture!! I should consider photography as an alternate source of income, whatchu think?

My gorgeous, happy friend! Here’s to a fabulous 2016, full of great joy, the fulfilment of all our hearts desires, and lots of egg on the faces of our enemies!


I love visiting places, meeting new people, and having fun… Most of all, I like to sit down after a period has passed and just say a massive thank you to people who have been there for me one way or the other! So whether it’s for being a part of my blog, thanking my bosom buddies for standing by us when Daddy launched the first offerings from the God Wants You Series, or even much recently, every one person who has been a pillar of support with the passing of my darling aunty, I like to say thank you. I really do.

And so, this post says a massive thank you to Lanzo and Fran for opening their doors to host each and every one of us who came from far and near to celebrate gorgeous Talia’s birthday. Thank you for lodging me (errr, we’re agreed on The Marriott for next time right), thank you for feeding us, thank you for making us feel welcome.

Thank you Fran for being such a wonderful person. You know (and I must have said this a lot of times already), last time we saw physically was 2001 in secondary school. Yes we did that interview about your make-up artistry but it was purely on merit, was about me loving the fabulous work that you do. And so when I said I was going to come down, I was excited, but at the same time I worried that so much time had passed, personalities might have changed, and all of that. But nope! Rock star you were, rock star you still are! With no airs, the right amounts of English, and hilarious Igbo!! Not an awkward moment, and I must say again, you have the best friends anyone could wish for.

Am I sounding really cheesy yet?

Thank you to the lovely Leanne, Irresistible Ikenna, Uber Cool Uchenna, Learned Lanzo, Kind Kadia, Potato (or was it popcorn) Paul, Mesmerizing Miles, and what was Prince’s one? It was my pleasure meeting you guys, I wish you the best in everything you do, and I hope that we can all catch up again soon!

Aberdeen was fab! Whoop!!

P:S – One more post (full of pictures)  and then I’ll lock up Aberdeen till Fran has another baby! I just really need the photos and that video (especially that)!!

When I was younger, if something unpleasant was going to happen (like I was about to tumble down the stairs, or more realistically, I came home with another dismal grade in math) my mom would say something like, ‘God did not promise me this’. To her (and this is a belief that I’ve embraced wholeheartedly thanks to her), God is the author of EVERY good thing, and God would never let any evil come near her or hers, even in the form of my math scores!! Ha ha! Don’t get it twisted o, I was exceptional at English and any other subject where my head would be allowed to roam. But that math? Naaaa!

Another thing Momma instilled in us was ‘God (who) cannot lie‘. And He can’t.  Several times in the scriptures we see where that is alluded to, either in Psalms, “my covenant will I not break, nor alter that which has gone from my lips’, the book of Numbers where we see ‘surely as you have spoken in my ears, so will I do unto you’, on and on and on. Noticed I’m a Kings James version child yet? *wink*

My favorite scripture though is in the book of Titus where it says, “God who cannot lie”… Boom! As in, even if God woke up today, this beautiful Friday and said, “you know what guys, I want to start lying”, He can’t! It’s not in His nature! Whoop! Whoop! That scripture gives me such joy!

So in the same way that I cannot be a whiz at math (I’ve given up don’t worry), God cannot lie. At all. Guess what though? Humans lie.

Ooh yes humans lie. Through the skin of their teeth, while looking you straight in the eyes (that’s after you’ve asked them to look you in the eyes and tell you the truth), humans tell the greatest fibs known to… humans! Dang!

Have you ever been lied to? I guess we’ll all say yes. Have you lied to someone? Same answer, yes. Why did you lie,  was it to escape punishment of some sort, appear better than you are,  gain undue advantage over your peers, cover or commit a crime, or because you were afraid? Let’s flip it a bit, why do you think you were lied to? Amongst other reasons, was the person trying to ‘protect’ you? What on earth does that even mean? Shaking My Head!!!

In my short time on earth, I’ve met people who told me horrible lies, and then when I was gutted from finding out, said, ‘I was doing it to protect you’. Protect me from what exactly? The hurt and pain I now feel from finding out even your greetings were lies?

Hmmm, I can imagine you settling in, probably even grabbing a bowl of popcorn in anticipation of some juicy gist, what my people will call ‘gbeborun/tatafo’.  There’s nothing here o, get a move on!

Ok, perhaps I will share the story that inspired this post some day. Just know that ‘someday’ might be when I’m 70 (so you don’t say I lied to you, and yes I plan to still be blogging then). I will tell the story of how implicit trust was broken, how I literally jumped from a frying pan to a furnace in the name of escaping one evil.

To digress, have you ever been in that place? Tried to dodge one evil and then found yourself ensconced in another, in what you thought would be your safety? My dear, not an easy place to be in at all.

All this ‘rigmarolling’ is to tell us to be careful from here on, beyond being a sin (and I’m not even going to start preaching here), lies hurt. They break hearts, trusts, and beautiful friendships. They (literally) remove the essence of relationships, they literally kill them. Some people have hurt themselves (sometimes gravely) because they were lied to, and I don’t think any of us want that on our conscience.

Try. Let’s see if we can get through the entire day (from when we get out of bed to when we get back in), not to tell a lie. Not a small one, or a white one, or a lie to ‘protect’ someone or what we think we have with them, nothing of the sort. Let’s try today. I’ll be trying too.

Life, love, and the best weekend ever,

The FGS.


So I saw this article on a friend’s blog and it spoke to me so much I knew I wanted to have it in a place I’d be able to retrieve and show my daughter easily.

To be honest I loved Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana and her roles in all those little high school movies they made not more than three-to-five years ago. She was adorable, like the teen version of Jennifer Aniston, America’s sweetheart.

This Lil Kim/Rihanna/Lady Gaga wannabe is not only one of the sharpest transformations I’ve seen, one of the most disgusting (however successful), but it is befuddling. How does someone work SO HARD to create a dirty image of themselves?

Anyway, before this becomes a full post in itself, enjoy the one that inspired it.



Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

1. Boil the rice2. Set it aside3. Other ingredients4. Music5. Spices6. The veg
7. Step one and two8. End product!9. Left overs10. A meal well deserved11. Chicken

How to cook fried rice!, a set on Flickr.



Wondering at the cooking lesson above? Click on the link above or on this one to get the full description and process k? And thank me later!

This is just a quick one to let you know what I got up to yesterday. I woke up excited for some reason, and after doing some of the chores I had pencilled down for the day I decided to cook fried rice!! After running through a little checklist in my head I knew I had most of what I needed so I sent a bbm (blackberry message) to my bestie (@debiemangut) to tell her (and maybe make her jealous, lol). The ensuing convo is below.


Lol!!! Crazy girl!! But I love her! Anyways, so I set to cooking, and tweeting the pictures of the process as well. Response to everything was so good I knew I had to make a chronicle out of it.

That’s it!! Let me know how it went if you try my method!

Love, rice, and everything nice!!





Glee cast

Image via Wikipedia

Dug this out of my archives, a review of the series, ‘Glee’ I wrote in March 2011 for Ynaija. Enjoy!

My first contact with Glee was with the ‘Don’t stop believing’ episode, which I found out later was the pilot. Glee appears to have the right components, the bunch of gorgeous kids + flawless music = a ‘dramatic enough’ story = perfection (especially for people as easily impressed by ‘happy stuff!)

Glee, now airing its second season, is the music club (stage named new Directions) led my Mr Will Schuester (Matthew Morrisson) and set in the fictional McKinley High school. Created by best friends Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk (Nip/Tuck) and Ian Brenan, the plot revolves around Mr. Schuester accepting to head the Glee club which he belonged to during his time at McKinley High. Using students from diverse backgrounds, opposite (and sometimes opposing) personalities, his dream is to restore the club to its former glory. In my mind, New Directions have two aims

  • win the ever elusive ‘regionals’
  • try to stay one step ahead (many times without success though) of the nastiest and according to Mr Schuester, “the most evil person in the world”, coach of the cheerleaders Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch).

Commissioned by FOX, Glee is a fun, quirky, and easy-to-watch show where the music spills in to everything; from the football field to the home wares store where Terri Schuester (Will’s ex-wife) works, even to the dentists! It’s safe to say Glee is music, and music is Glee; it doesn’t strive to teach any lessons, or ‘save the world’.

The show debuted on the 19th of May 2009 in the United States with 9.62million viewers; E4 bought the rights to broadcast in the United Kingdom a little while after. I’ll digress a bit and say I cannot wait for the day we’ll be able to tell exactly how many people consume what media   and at what times in Nigeria. Of course that needs to happen before knowing how many people watch a particular program et al.

Back to Glee, New Directions has performed songs from way back, and they give a good dose of today’s music too. From Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’, ‘Hello, goodbye’ by the Beatles, Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, Pink’s ‘Raise your glass’, to ‘Telephone’ by Gaga and Beyoncé, they have rocked just every hit song, averaging about eight songs per hour-long show. In the words of reality judges, “they take songs, make them their own, and make you vote them into the next round”!

Dubbed as ‘High School Musical for adults’, I must confess that as much as I like Glee, it does have some elements of absurdity. Without being a spoiler, what school has students lining up to be thrown into a refuse collector, even in the worst cases of bullying? Then how about Quinn Fabray (Diana Agron) telling Finn (Cory Monteith) she’s pregnant for him when they NEVER slept together? And he believed it? In the 21st century? And the clincher, Quinn finding out the sex of her baby in the sixth week? Haba! I would have thought miracles like that were the exclusive preserve of Africa Magic!

I would give Glee a 7 especially because of Sue Sylvester; she makes every episode worthwhile with her sarcasm. Also because the music, even though unbelievable most of the time, is great and most importantly, even though the show is stereotypical in a lot of ways, it portrays teenagers for who they are: imperfect, curious, mood swinging beings. That’s commendable.

Taking it up to a 10 for me would include allowing the other members of New Directions lead some songs (except the show is an indirect remake of the erstwhile Beyoncé’s Destiny’s Child or Scherzinger’s Pussycat Dolls), remove some of the unbelievable melodrama, reduce the raunchiness (the episode that touched on oral sex was a no-no for the audience they target), and let them win the regionals already! And even if they don’t do all these, it’s Glee, we’d still watch it!

Glee: The Music, Volume 6

Image via Wikipedia

This is what Nigeria woke up to on the 1st of January 2012, our New Years’ gift from our darling President:

PPPRA Announces Formal Removal of Subsidy on Premium Motor Spirit (PMS)
Following extensive consultation with stakeholders across the nation, the Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPPRA) wishes to inform all stakeholders of the commencement of formal removal of subsidy on Premium Motor Spirit (PMS), in accordance with the powers conferred on the agency by the law establishing it, in compliance with Section 7 of PPPRA Act, 2004.

By this announcement, the downstream sub-sector of the petroleum industry is hereby deregulated for PMS. Service providers in the sector are now to procure products and sell same in accordance with the indicative benchmark price to be published forthnightly and posted on the PPPRA website.

Petroleum products marketers are to note that no one will be paid subsidy on PMS discharges after 1st January 2012.

Consumers are assured of adequate supply of quality products at prices that are competitive and non-exploitative and so there is no need for anyone to engage in panic buying or product hoarding.

The PPPRA in conjunction with the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPR) will ensure that consumers are not taken advantage of in any form or in any way.

The DPR will ensure that the interest of the consumer in terms of quality of products is guaranteed at all times and in line with international best practice.

In the coming weeks, the PPPRA will engage stakeholders in further consultation to ensure the continuation of this exercise in a hitch-free manner.

Reginald Stanley
Executive Secretary, PPPRA

Ok, in simple English, that press release means that fuel which sold for 65naira on the 31st of December 2011, now goes for 138naira at Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) Mega stations, and 141naira almost everywhere else. To my mind, this is madness. And for a number of reasons.

1. This country LIVES on fuel. We need fuel to run our generators at home and at work because there is NO electricity.

2. There are no palliative measures in place to cushion the effect of this subsidy removal, nothing at all. Were salaries increased? No. Cost of survival (since we’re not living anymore) reduced? No.

3. This removal should have been done in April 2012, why ‘spring’ it on the people on the 1st of January, and not even have the courtesy to address your people yourself?

4. Where are the funds to be saved from the subsidy going?  Subsidy has been removed from kerosene and diesel for some years now, where did those savings go?

5. Again, priorities have been misplaced. There’s Boko Haram slowly wiping out whole states, unemployment, the growing rate of sexual crimes, epileptic electricity and Mr. President takes decisive action on fuel subsidy?

I decided to sweep Facebook and Twitter, to see the reaction of Nigerians (both at home and in the diaspora) to this gift from Mr. President. They’ll be pictures, quotes, basically reactions from a people who are fed up with an insensitive government.

And yes, below are a number of comments off Goodluck Jonathan‘s Facebook page following the removal of the fuel subsidy.

End of reactions phase one, with this Facebook status update from my friend Amina Maikori, “Hmmm! No point lighting a match in a dark room to make sure no one accidentally sprinkled any gunpowder on your bicycle…GEJ, make what you will from that, sir.”

I hung out with a dear friend recently, she’s here in England to study ‘modelling and management of risk’ and walai, it has tripled the respect I have for her. In academics, there are two classes of people I respect; people who love maths, and people who love maths so much that they study it! I remember the tremor in my heart in Secondary School every time I knew we’d have math for first period, how I got a ‘C’ in my A Levels is beyond me! We had some maths gurus then, but when one of them said she was going to study further mathematics at Uni I must confess I kinda stopped liking her very much! What! I can’t understand things ‘as basic as quadratic equations‘ (rolling my eyes at my math teacher for saying it was basic), and you want to study further maths at Uni? Kai!

Anyway, I think I’m a bigger person now, because the friend I hung out with today studied…….(wait for it)….MATH for her first degree, and I still like her a lot. *hugs*

Ok, so after we prowled Oxford Street (the definition of girls ‘hanging out’), we started gisting on the train home, and somehow it  moved to flights. That’s funny enough. Then it moved to ’embarrassing moments on flights with Nigerians‘. Before I go on, what’s your story? Local or international, what has irked/amused or just totally cracked you up?

We started from the ‘rousing ovation syndrome’, and Fe told about (as I have heard severally before) about our people giving the pilot an ovation when he lands and is taxiing the plane to where they get off. Most culpable route? The DubaiLagos flight, on any airline. I won’t even start World War Three by mentioning (or even hinting at) the most culpable Nigerian geopolitical zone! I learnt that if the flight was without incident, then the pilot gets a regular applause, nothing special. But if there was turbulence anytime during the flight, ahh! Not only does he get a rousing ovation, some take the liberty to stand (never mind the ‘keep your seat belts fastened’ rule) and pour blessings on the pilot, which is a bad idea in itself because he CANNOT hear!

I told the story I’ve shared here before about the man who sat beside me on a flight from N’Djamena to Douala. That was just as sad as it was hilarious!

Another one comes to mind; I was flying from Lagos to Abuja, one of those days when I knew that thanks to the airline, I was going to be late for work. And it was a Monday morning, the worst day in the world to be late, or appear ruffled due to the mental/emotional exhaustion of driving the taxi with the cabbie!

I wasn’t in the mood to chat, was saving my energy for explanations back at the office. Till I noticed the guy in the seat next to mine didn’t hurt my sight; matter of fact, he looked really nice. I ran through a little list in my head, shoes and belt matched, crisp shirt, light whiff of his cologne…… ‘Not bad’ I thought. Just as I looked away, he said ‘hey’, and I smiled (more inwardly than outwardly of course). He said he’d seen me look at my watch a few times in the last minute so he was sure I was running late as well. ‘Doesn’t sound half bad too’, sucker for accents that I am. After a few minutes of chatting I turned away, and was counting down to exchanging numbers at the end of the flight. *wink*

Man proposes, God disposes. Abi? 25 minutes into the flight, what started out as a beautiful sunny morning suddenly turned dark and cloudy. With the clouds came turbulence in epic proportions. God of my fathers! I was AFRAID, there’s no other way to say it. I prayed, asking God to remember my service in His kingdom and have mercy, and if mine wasn’t enough, to consider my parents. Anything, I just knew I didn’t want to perish!

The hitherto suave young man beside was obviously more terrified than I was. Before I closed my eyes to pray, he had maintained a calm mien, like he didn’t notice the chaos. Just as I opened my eyes, and wanted to hold his arm (for support, lol!) the plane dipped. Immediately I heard, ‘chim o! Obara Jesus! Onye nwanyi gbaghara!’ What!! In spite of myself and the situation at hand, I started laughing. I laughed even harder when I realized the chants were coming from the guy! Ah! Where did the accent go? I could have sworn he wasn’t Nigerian before!

God being merciful (as always), we left the troubled spot, and 40 minutes later were taxiing to a stop at Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport. ‘Can I get your number’, baby boy said, assuming his cool demeanor again. ‘Nope’, I replied, without missing a beat. After that episode? No way! I smiled at him, got off the plane, and laughed all the way to my office. Na wa!

Did you have a nice weekend? Did too! Start from having a fabulous week; bestie came to Birmingham for a few days and we had a lot of fun! From catching up, to seeing a movie (‘In Time’ was amazing), to the workshop at Apple, to endless shopping (bet you thought I wouldn’t get here), boy did we have fun!

Bestie and I shopping!

For the weekend, I popped with my flatmate to her aunt’s for her baby’s dedication. I had promised about a month ago that I’d come to help (plus I’d bought the train ticket already) so I went. Was it a lot of work? Definitely! Did I enjoy helping out? Of course! By the way, I nearly  missed my coach but that’s another story, one you probably should have heard too many times to be excited or amused about. Two major downsides to the trip sha, I missed service at my home church, and secondly (less important) a John Grisham novel I was reading didn’t exactly end the way I thought it would. *sigh*

Anyways, so I’m on the train home after my very eventful weekend (past  8.30pm), and suddenly the peace and quiet is shattered by the entrance of five heavily made up teenagers, one of them with enormous hips (or hips that don’t lie). Apart from the fact that I was disgusted by the amount of noise the urchins whipped up, I wondered where they were headed to, at that time. ‘Maybe home’, I thought, trying desperately to ignore the ruckus and concentrate on my novel. I was sure they weren’t headed home because of the transformation two of them underwent in a few minutes of them being on the train. Hijabs (the hair and face covering Muslim ladies wear) were lost, revealing long, flowing, already styled tresses of beautiful hair, no doubt well prepared for this time. Different hues of red touched already glossy lips, and in no time they all looked ready to model blood red lipstick for Elizabeth Arden or Revlon.

The question would be, where were these ladies headed, at this time of the night? And before you ask what I was doing/where I was going, I already explained above; I was heading home after a hard, yet very pleasurable day. And yes, I gave the girls at least 10 years on their ages, and where I’m from it is not best practise to question you elders! *sticks tongue out*

I imagine they told their folks they were going to have sleep-overs at each other’s house, and knowing parents wouldn’t check, met up somewhere, and disappeared.

Not acceptable. Full stop.

Or worse, as kids in these parts are wont to do, they would have ‘battled’ their parents for the right to go out, for whatever reason. I say battled because not only do I watch episodes of their lives on TV, I was at a friend’s when her younger sister (a very beautiful 14-year-old) tried the ‘this-is-the-land-of-the-free-and-the-brave-and-children-have-the-right-to-say-whatever-they-want’ on their mom, a lady from the Western part of Nigeria. Of course it didn’t end well, and if there had been an award for the parent with the fastest reflexes, walai this mom would have gotten it! I’ve never seen a slap that fast; the way she silenced her eye-rolling, rough-necking daughter.

Makes me wonder about my own upbringing and how my husband and I will raise our children. I’ve come to understand that are God’s gifts, and we are only caretakers. And I plan to take care of my own very well I tell you!

So, #DearFutureHusband, together we will

  • Raise our champions (what my dad calls us) in the knowledge and fear of the Lord, us, and their society.
  • I don’t believe this ‘times have changed’ gist; crap, crap, mega crap. Some values are ageless, respect inclusive. Certain things will NOT be acceptable, like having our 14-year-old out in the streets/in trains with their friends at 10pm.
  • Ensure that to the best of our ability, our kids have a brilliant education. And lots of fun while they’re at it.
  • Most importantly, show them every day that we love them (to the moon and back), and that their welfare (and wellbeing) is uppermost in our hearts.

Loving you in advance,

Your Future Wife.