#31Days31Writers: Berry’s grateful for the woman she’s become!

I went to school with Berry, and she’s been my friend since then. Berry is a powerful mobilizer, and I’ve been telling her that when I’m ready to run for any office she’ll be one of the first people I will call!

 

Berry was on the blog in 2013, and it’s such a great thing that she’s here again now! I’m sorry we seem to have missed two days, blame it on this amazing conference I’m attending in Kigali (gist about that later!) Without further ado, I present Berry!

It’s a privilege to be on this blog (again). My name is Chidiebere Nweze. Nigerian and a Christian. I work with an NGO that caters to women in rural areas. By catering to them- we actually organize sensitization workshops to enlighten them on things like Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), HIV, Vesicovaginal Fistula (VVF), child marriage, child abuse and other prevailing issues we face in our society. We also organize skill acquisition seminars and empower some of them after that.

2015 has had its ups and downs/highs and lows for me. There were days I laughed so hard and others that I really cried.

The LOWS:

1) I had a procedure done this year. And man, was I scared??? My first time in the Hospital (as a patient) since 2003. I couldn’t just believe it. Seeing the needles/syringes/equipment had me crying before the Doctor even came close. But then, having a super sweet (male) Doctor attend to you takes away every pain/fear. Yeah? Dude was EVERYTHING!

2) I got betrayed by one or two very, very close friends. Betrayed to the point that I found myself crying for days on end. Not to spill the details, but have you ever been betrayed to the point that you wished the person(s) could just die and disappear from this Earth? Yes, I was that deeply hurt. And it doesn’t help matters that I have a problem with forgiveness. Story for another day!

3) Something I thought would work out didn’t quite work out the way I wanted and hoped. Thus, leaving me a bit stranded. But somehow, I found a way around it and GOD has been faithful.

4) I’m actually very ashamed to say this (especially because it was one of the things I said I’d improve on this year). My church attendance WORSENED! All my life, I’ve never really been the ‘churchy’ kind of girl, but this year was worse. I didn’t go to church up to FIVE times this 2015! Incredible! Really not a thing to be proud of!

5) I am FAT! It’s depressing to know that I’m fat. And I still won’t stop eating. I moved from a UK Size 12 to a Size 14 this year.

*Remember the lovely dress I wore in the picture I attached to my 2013 entry? It doesn’t fit anymore! It doesn’t zip at all! That’s too much weight to gain in a year!!!

The HIGHS:

2015 wasn’t just about lows. I’ve learnt pretty much – from interactions, exposure and experience:

1) To be a lot more patient and tolerant with people, bearing in mind that we are all from different backgrounds, etc. I used to be highly intolerant. Once someone doesn’t act/behave the way I expect him/her to, guess who gets mad? Me! You don’t meet my expectations, I’m cutting you off and screaming how disappointed I am (forgetting that I’m also NOT perfect and have my own big flaws too).

2) Not to trust too much again, knowing that human will always be humans. I don’t know if that is a good lesson, but that was one of the lessons I learnt this year. I used to be very trusting, but one bitter experience this year changed that.

3) I had the opportunity to do some works that exposed me in a lot of positive ways: new network of friends, great openings, new knowledge (I love to learn), great openings (again!). And I’m grateful!

4) I really discovered how much of an adult I’ve become. I mean, I can make decisions on my own (without consulting my parents first). Yes! I remember waking up one day (a few months ago) and making a decision that involved my resigning, relocating to a strange land (for more than a year) and living a totally different/new life. It was a tough decision. I knew my dad wouldn’t like/support the idea. So I didn’t tell him until I had finalized plans/arrangements, made payments where necessary, committed myself to a large extent too. The day I decided to tell him about it, I was unsure on how to go about it and what his reaction would be. So, I felt the safest way was to send him an sms. And for the first time ever, my dad didn’t reply my sms. He instead forwarded the sms to my other siblings and they all rang me. And for the first time in a very long while, he was mad at me!

Long story short, he saw reasons with me after he arranged a meet for us to analyze and discuss. And guess what? He’s been in total support since then.

5) My dad plays lawn tennis and he always hated the fact that none of his kids played. He’s 62 and still goes for tournaments. As a Daddy’s girl, I decided to put a smile on his face by towing that line too. And guess what? Yours truly now trains/plays. I intend to stop if I start looking/becoming muscular. It’s bad enough that I walk and behave like a boy jor.

6) I really can’t thank GOD enough for the woman I’ve grown into. The disciplined and principled woman that He moulded me into. I’ve had quite a good number of mouth-watering offers (this year) that I rejected as a matter of principle. A few people who were privy to them saw me as being stupid. In fact, only a few understood why I took the stand I did. Would I have made really cool cash? YES! But do I regret not taking up the offers? NO! Reason- I don’t go against my principles. And I don’t do things I won’t be able to defend against my conscience.

Yea, it’s been a fair year but here’s to a better 2016!

My gorgeous blondie, Berry!

Come back tomorrow for our next writer!

#OccupyIbadan – The Chronicle around #KemiTolu2014

I’d promised Tolu Ogunlesi I would make his wedding slated for the 29th of November 2014 and because I am a child of God who keeps her promises, I got into Nigeria early in the morning of the 28th.

A bit about the flight – British Airways was super disappointing biko. The in-flight entertainment didn’t work (at all) the entire flight. After the initial apologies when we first boarded and talk about sorting it out, nothing o, till we touched down in Abuja. Very unlike British Airways.

On the other hand I had pesto pasta and a lovely, lovely pudding. British Airways, you’re forgiven – go and sin no more.

Anyway, so we touched down and one of my bags was damaged. Lord have mercy! One hour, some yelling (I’m sorry), and some sarcasm (not sorry for that), and a filled out damages form after, it was home time. Of course Boo Boo had gone off to school and I missed seeing him.

Rushed out almost immediately with my cabbie, first to the bank, then to run some errands, see my sister, then we sped off back to the airport so I could catch a 4pm flight to Ibadan.

3.30pm. All checked in and waiting to be called to board. 4pm. 4.30pm. 5pm. Flight was finally announced, and we queued up. Next thing I heard some commotion at the front of the line. Apparently, Overland Airways/Airlines (whatever they’re called) said the ‘plane was full’ so we would have to wait for another one that had taken off to Ilorin to come back for us. What!!!!!!!! As in, who does that!?!!!  How did they not know the capacity of the plane and sold tickets accordingly?

I was exhausted, and angry! Sweet baby Jesus I was angry! Everyone was furious, and they almost moved from being physical with the station manager to full-scale violence.

We finally boarded at 7.30pm and of course I dozed even before we took off; I was beat. Touched down an hour later (thank you Lord) and just as I was getting off, power at the airport went out; didn’t come back on for at least 10 minutes. Do you know what the Bible calls ‘gross darkness’? Hian! All I could think of was what would have happened if the power had gone out while we were landing. God forbid. By the way, there were no buildings at the said airport, just canopies. Jesu!

Caught a cab to the hotel, a bit of drama with the cabbie and his car (I ended up changing taxis and paying 700 naira instead of 4000 naira) and as soon as I showered, had dinner, and checked in with my friends and loved ones, it was bedtime!

WEddINg dAY

Woke up feeling really rested and excited – whoop! Took my time with my shower, got ready, and had a cup of tea. Almost had a wardrobe malfunction (that only Mercy and JT know about because God will not allow my enemies to laugh at me) and then it was time to go!

Egghead picked me up, we got Mercy and then it was off to church – but first a selfie!!!

Duck mouth!

Selfie in church – don’t worry, service had ended!

Wedding ceremony was great, funny how people just assume they know what a couple want. The Pastor said, “in a few months from now, Kemi will be pregnant”. Yes o, instruction from the Lord ke nan!

Wedding over, it was off to the reception – beautiful, gorgeously decorated hall, sufficient stewards, and really tasty food! I learned something I think I’ll have done at mine – guests were fed as soon as they sat down. There were menu cards, and as soon we sat down our orders were taken and delivered. After we ate, the couple came in and the reception proper started – much better than starving your guests and leaving their eyes alternating between the clock and the order cos they’re anxious for ‘item 7’.

High point of the reception? The daddy/daughter dance – it was everything! Loved it! Kemi was crying though, I can imagine my dad is going to cry too.

With the one and only Gbenga Sesan!

With Eggie!!

Courtesy Omojuwa, who defines the word ‘LOYAL’!!

Loads of dancing, small chops chowing, selfies and co after, it was back to the hotel for a bit more rest. Here’s a bit about my room, told in photos.

So. This is the name of my room. It was really the Queen’s room, as in Mama Charlie!

Not bad at all to be honest! Really spacious, loved that I had a bath and a shower in the bathroom, and two air conditioners (ended up turning both off in the night when they threatened to freeze my lungs!) Notice the portrait hanging over the bed? Queen.

Everything is a decoration. These two coaster sets were on the table. Queen.

Another wall, another Queen portrait.

Yet another portrait. Queen.

Is it me, or the owner of this hotel deserves to be knighted? More Queen!

Still on the hotel, in the morning I rang the reception and asked for a taxi. They didn’t have any so I asked if they could find one for me. Guess the reply I got when I got a call back?

Receptionist: Mr Ojo’s mother is ill so he has gone to Ilesha to see her.

Me: I’m sorry, who is Mr Ojo?

Receptionist: That’s the taxi we wanted to call for you.

They couldn’t just tell me he wasn’t available?

Later that evening, we went out for drinks and a laugh (or two or three depending on what the subject was). I ordered a small chops platter which took forty minutes but came with ‘microwaved-from-frozen’ items.

Sigh.

Ah!! Did I mention there were ladies in the lounge wearing lace? Even saw a couple with gele! Not kidding!

Back in the land of the queen (also known as my room) it was bedtime, with prayers that I’d be up early enough to catch my ride to Lagos! Thank you @Babsburton for the ride, and @seyitaylor for the company!

This was written from the safety/warmth of my lodgings in Lagos, totally grateful to God for safe travels (London-Abuja-Ibadan-Lagos) over four days. Beyond non-functional in-flight entertainment, delayed flights, and bad roads, my trips were without incident. For that I’m super grateful.

It was awesome to catch up with my old friends (too numerous to mention) but also to meet folk from Twitter! People like @BisiOgunwale (Mr President), @Obadayo (helmet), @OkShorty1, and the delectable @LAkintobi!

To @eggheader, egbon of life! Thank you for making sure we were comfortable/taken care of. Thank you.

And to the latest couple, @toluogunlesi and @kemichronicles, congratulations! Welcome to the best years of your lives.

Photo courtesy Eggheader. Isn’t the bride just gorgeous!! I love her gown! Simple and oh-so-beautiful!

Love ya!

Of laughter and chicken wings

Social media is a funny thing. It’s like a playground these days, and everyone’s invited. Compelled almost, if you like. It has become possible to have a living, breathing relationship (work or otherwise) with a person you have never met (watch out for the catfish though) totally enabled by the various technologies around. Exciting stuff!

Found a blog almost a year ago now, and it was Tolu’s, this young man who’d returned to Nigeria (IJGB) and was documenting (daily) what it was like settling into work (he runs his own company), living in Lagos, all of that good stuff. Of course the tales were hilarious, and after a while I would find myself looking forward to his next piece. I would leave a comment every now and then too, and sometimes they’d become full blown conversations.

We narrowly missed the chance of meeting sometime in September; I’d been invited to an event in Lagos but I was in England and since the invite didn’t come with any attachment with the subject ‘British Airways’, I sent my regrets. However, I was really interested in the event (and I said so to the organizers) so after it held, I saw a link to a video of the proceedings, and so I watched.

And then I saw Tolu! And I’m like “no way”!! Apparently he’d also been invited, and was one of the key speakers or something like that. So I messaged him on Twitter (hello social media) to say we narrowly missed each other, and the conversation ended with a plan to meet when next I was in the country.

So… Had a really good first half of the day yesterday at the Diplomatic Dialogue series organized by NLI, hosting the US Ambassador (more gist about that in my next post) and then it was off to Terra Kulture to work, eat, and see if Tolu would be able to make it down.

He did! Right in the middle of me burning up (because in my ‘wisdom’ I’d sat by the window so the sun was in my face), my Mac charger packed up and I don’t know my way around Lagos so even after I’d been told on Twitter where I could get a new one, I was still obviously helpless. Tolu be sincere, I was whining those first few minutes abi?

Tolu laughed at me first (Smh at that first impression) and I daresay he laughed all the way to his car just under 3 hours later!

From airport to dim sum spots stories, to the ones about computer chargers and incomplete information, to the 21 questions (rolling my eyes at the interrogation), I had a fabulous, fun, really laid back evening!

And I’m grateful for that, for good fun, good conversation, and wait for it… Chicken wings!!

So we ordered smoothies and chicken wings (team FitFam), and we shared them equally, even though Tolu tried to shame/bully me into eating less than my share. Yet he was off to a party where he’d have a proper dinner o… *Rolling my eyes again* In fact, you be the judge – who do think owns which pile of bones?

Count carefully!!!

And there was the last wing, the lonely last wing that we both formed we wouldn’t eat… For several reasons…

I wonder what happened to this last wing… Where does a solitary chicken wing go?

Notice we left the fries alone? Team fitfam dot com!!

I had a really good time Tolu… Thank you. Send your email address, so I can send you that idea biko. Hope you enjoyed the party!

PS – what did you do yesterday evening? Yes, you reading this! Share!

31 days 31 writers – yep, we’re doing it again in July!

Greetings from Barnes Close, Worcestershire, which played home to us fourteen women from different countries in Africa, being the second residency of five for Diaspora Women in England funded by the Royal Arts Society, Comic Relief, and delivered brilliantly by Jill, Amita, and Geeta of the Women, Leadership and Change program.

Wow! That was a mouthful! I’m thankful for being chosen to experience this exploration into ourselves, the study of different leadership styles, the amazing food at the Center for Peace and Reconciliation (where we are lodged), and the peace/serenity on this massive expanse of land. I’m even more grateful cos it seems like I haven’t spent more than 7 days in any place recently, and the peace, quiet, and absence of the internet is really welcome! Plus, it’s the beautiful month of May, the flowers are blooming, and the farm is really beautiful! Glory be to God I don’t have any allergies…

Now, who remembers 31 Days 31 writers from December? I know I do! From Sierra Leone to Sango Ota (not really, but I needed to use another ‘s’, lol), there was a writer everyday, telling us what their year had been like, lessons they had learned, people they were grateful to/for, and things they would do differently if they could.

One word? Ah-ma-zing! Incredible learning, it was like a 360 degrees lesson on life every time a new one was published! Old, young, big, small, I had the most the most exquisite pieces on the blog in December! Here are a couple, in no particular order.

“I would shut up and let her do her mothering” – Vickie Remoe #31days31writers

“I have learnt that homosexuality exists in 450 species” – Okechukwu is a shining star on #31days31writers today!

“I won the lottery!!” – Tolu #31days31writers

“Your friend is your need answered” – a surprise appearance on the #31days31writers project!

“I have so much to be grateful for!” – Mac-Jordan #31Days31Writers

“The internet lives” – Pa Ikhide starts the second week of my #31days31writers project!

“Who says black men shouldn’t cry?” – My girl Francesca Uriri! #31days31writers

Guess what? We’re doing it again in July! Whoop! How about an appraisal of the first six months of the year, what you’re excited about, definitely what you’re grateful for, and what you’re looking forward to as we speed to the end of 2014! I’m excited already!

I’m not sure yet if I want people who have written before to go again (so we can accommodate new voices), but I won’t say no to anyone. How’s that?

Interested? Of course you are! You can tweet me to say you’re interested (@ChiomaChuka), DM an email address if we follow each other, or simply send me an email here – dfairygodsister(at)yahoo(dot)com.

There are 20 slots, and it’s as simple as the first to get in touch get the slots! It would be absolutely fabulous if all the pieces are scheduled by the end of the month so get in touch already!

 

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Hamburg Diaries: Visas, trips, and my love of sleep! (Part One)

I met Sabine Ewald, project Manager of the team hosting social media week Hamburg 2014 @ Social Media Week London 2013. She said I had to attend at Hamburg and I was excited at the opportunity.

The story about the visa application is a short one, a few pages to confirm I was resident in England, bank statements, invite, you know how that works. There was a curious declaration form though, actually two I had to sign saying I wasn’t a terrorist. I remember a particular question asking if I had recently received training from …(listed a number of countries), and another lumping Nigeria and some war-torn countries together.  That hurt.

So I got the visa, now it’s on the trip proper. If you’ve travelled anywhere with me (via this blog), you’d know I cannot sleep the night before any flight. Last time I slept, not only did I miss the flight, I started in my own ‘league of unfortunate events that morning. It wasn’t funny then, glory be I can laugh about it now.

This night though, I slept I was exhausted, and so I slept. But I asked the Holy Spirit to wake me (that’s something I’ve started doing recently), and soon as I put my things together/booked a taxi for the next day, I hit the sack. Flight time? 7.40am. 

I woke up about 4.50am, 10 minutes before my alarm (thank you Lord). Shut my eyes to pray (still cozied up under my blanket) and I promise you I had gotten through one song and a few words of prayer before…I heard my phone ring and it was my beloved father asking if I was at the airport! Lol. Bless him!

I jumped up, took one more wake up call (thank you dearie), and then it was in, out of the shower, and in my taxi at exactly 5.50am; of course I dozed all the way to the airport.

Thankfully my hosts had paid for check-in luggage and I was on time so I went to drop it. 

Do you know that the Nigerian passport doesn’t do us  a lot of favors sometimes? Ok, so I got to the counter and after asking me where I was going and why, the lady rang someone to ‘register/confirm’ my passport and visa. Incredible. Just incredible. And that’s all I will say about that here.

Cleared security, got to the Duty Free Area, and a little devil wanted to tempt me to look around. Was ambling towards the perfume display then I saw my gate was closing in 11 minutes. Which perfume? Would it guarantee eternity? I dashed for my gate, made it just in time!

Boarded, and beside me was this stern looking lady, na wa. All of a sudden I heard my mother tongue behind me, whoop! Ladies and gentlemen there was a young man blasting Ibo on the phone – I was so excited! Tweeted that, said a prayer, and fell asleep!

Hamburg baby!

Touchdown! Cleared immigration (again got the extra scrutiny), and then I went to grab my luggage. It had dawned on me that I was on my own (no my hosts weren’t meeting me at the airport), so I went out, found a cab, and that story forms the beginning of part two!

PS – Written on the 19th of February, don’t even ask why I’m just publishing it now!

 

And @RobertMadu came to church! Hillsongs rocks!

First off, growing up I always felt like I only needed to attend only one service per Sunday. Growing up as a pastor’s child? Not too easy. According to my father’s gospel, every living soul in his house was supposed to leave the house in the same car for the first service, and return in the car after the last service. When we were younger, there’d be a snack between services but that disappeared sooner than I hoped!

So, by the time I could stay for just one service, I took it. I made it a point of duty to stay for just one. Even as a church worker, somehow I would get some unique satisfaction from being able to skip a service.

Didn’t have that problem while I was in Birmingham and serving in the choir and children’s ministry of RCCG CRA Perry Barr because we had just one service. And even though the service and all my work in church meant I would be in church for as much as 5 hours in a day, I didn’t mind! It wasn’t labeled, ‘two services’.

Anyway!! Today’s all about the first service of the year at my super fabulous church, Hillsongs London! Attended first late in 2012, and the thing I’ve done most since then? I keep going back, and each service is such a blessing I know I’ve found my home! Next step is joining a unit but before then, whip out your Bibles, and let’s run through my notes from Sunday!

Pastor Robert Madu (pronounced by everyone as ‘ma-doo’ even though his father is Nigerian) was in church, his first time ever in England, and is an incredible speaker. He taught on “The formula for a great year”, and I hope these notes bless you as much as they blessed me!

He started by talking a bit about the power of the intro, referencing social scientists who talk about Estimated Relationship Potential (ERP). ERP dictates that the first five minutes determine if your audience will lean in and follow your conversation, or become distracted. How do you introduce yourself? Do you smile? Do you invite people by the way you speak, or do you chase them away?

Matthew 6:31-34

John 16:33

Genesis 1:14. How we begin things matter, not just how we end them. Martin Luther King said “he who starts late in a race must run faster to overtake or forever remain behind.

We fail at our resolutions year in year out because we run them on willpower.What we need, is real power, the same thing God used to create everything we see today. We need, ‘Word Power’.

When we’re in places where nothing seems to be working, it’s not the time to complain, but the time to praise God onto the scene because He is the only one who can make something from nothing! For His glory!

We need to come to a point where we implicitly believe that everything God has said concerning us must come to pass.

Genesis 1:3-5 = God said let there be light, and there was light.

Genesis 1:16-19 = Three days after he created the sun, moon, and stars. Have you wondered what had been shining for three days though?

Genesis 1:14b = So why did God bother with making the sun, moon, et al? Because He wanted us to see signs of seasons, days, and years.

The formula for success this year is trusting God regardless of the season I’m in. Living beings have seasons, we all have days in our years, but the constant is God, and ‘His Word’. Everything else changes.

Old people want to be young, young people want to be old, but the art of living life well is to trust God through and through.

I put this up on Facebook a couple days ago… The seasons will not dictate my faith!

Everyday is a gift from God; what I do with that day is my gift back to Him. And I am determined that I will spoil my God with a wonderful gift every day of this year!

P:S – I love my church! And I’m mega grateful for Pastor Madu!

“I have come to love and accept myself” – my bestie is up! #31days31writers

Whoop!!!

It’s my bestie up on my blog today!! Whoop whoop! I met Wumi late in 2010 but we didn’t quite kick it off till the next year and it’s been magical ever since! I feel like I’ve known her for like forever, and she’s made up for all the childhood buddies I didn’t quite have!

Wumi is known by my family (Boo Boo loves her), and I love hers. She’s the definition of ‘what you see is what you get’; no airs, no pretence, nothing added on (except a random Peruvian extension or the other, lol)! 

Raji (as I call her, much to her chagrin – but I can’t stop, lol), is a gift from God to me, and I am more than proud that she’s my bestie. Even though she forces me to buy asoebi for people I haven’t met (I love you Bimbo), and has promised me we’ll sleep in whatever church I’ll get married in the day before the wedding so I’m not late for the service (lmao), I love her to pieces!

And I pray for her today, that all her dreams and wishes come true early in 2014, because she’s super, and I’m honored she picked up a pen to put this together.

For Boxing Day special, and the 26th day of the #31days31writers project, here’s my home girl, Miss Wumi Raji!

Life has taught me to expect the good, the bad and the ugly but also, to be hopeful at all times. My name is Omowunmi Raji, I work for Coventry University as the International Officer for West and Central Africa, a job that entails quite a bit of traveling, talking, and meeting different kinds of people. For someone who talks very quickly, stutters sometimes and was once asked if it’s a generational problem because and I quote “I don’t want grandkids that stammer”, getting the job was indeed God’s grace.

I’m thankful for His grace that has brought me this far, grateful for family and real friends (trust me I have few fake friends) and to the one who walked out on me 2 years ago after 8 years of being together just because he thought I wasn’t worth fighting for. I’m stronger, wiser, and his sudden realization that all that glitters isn’t gold but gold-plated is instructive. Life has taught me despite my numerous wants, needs, fears and anxiety, everything will come together in God’s perfect time. Therefore, I’m done worrying!

I have come to love and accept myself for who I am. I might not be there yet but the journey is less tense now especially with my confidence in the God factor which is at work for me. I rest assured in that.

For 2014, I  want to learn more, to give more without expecting anything in return. Also, I hear love is a beautiful thing. Till my Captain America finds me (and he best be getting directions from my Father in heaven and stop wasting time jor), I will keep working on myself, growing in His grace, furthering my career, and being a better daughter, sister, friend, confidant, lover, wife, and mother.

My girl, Miss Raji!!

Wumi and I in Calabar Christmas last year for the carnival! Yes we were in a band!

Us again!! Wearing shades because I had started cooking, literally from the heat! Love you babe!

That’s us in Essex sometime in 2011, waiting for our hosts at the train station. Memories! Pouts of life and destiny!

I have decided…

The entire month of July has been dedicated to ‘I have decided’ testimonies every Sunday; people coming out to testify of that moment when they gave their life to God; the tribulations they faced, the strength of their conviction in their decision for God, and how their lives have been different since they decided for Him. Then we all sing one of  my favorite songs:

Christ is enough for me (2x)

Everything I need is in you

Everything I need….

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back (2x)

The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back, no turning back (2x)

Amazing testimonies of how God just picks someone up and does a complete 360 degrees on their life. Amazing, simply amazing.

This young lad on Sunday told of how his mom had him when she was 17, never knew/met his dad, and between the ages of two and eight, he had been through FOUR foster homes. Four! He talked about one foster mom who said at some point that she didn’t want him anymore, how he was returned to foster care, and the rejection he felt. The deep rejection he felt that no one loved or wanted him.

At some point he kicked a school Principal in the face and was expelled and that was the beginning of rough times at school, getting into trouble, and all of that.

He got placed with another family in his teens, and she would take him to church on Sunday but according to him, “I hated it”.

One time when he was 14 or so, he was with a foster mom, and they were out shopping. They were in a store, and he saw a man pick up his son and place him on his shoulder. He said something broke inside him at that moment and all he could do was go home, lock himself in his room and just cry. He said he cried and then he prayed and said, “God if you are real, please be my dad. I want to have a dad so much”.

That day was the beginning of a father/son relationship with him and the Lord, and he has grown in leaps and bounds since then. Today he’s 23, born again, spirit-filled, and a graduate of Cambridge University!!! Whoop!

That’s against statistics that say that:

50% of homeless people in England today are foster/care kids

50% of prison inmates are foster/care kids

Only 4% of foster/care kids are expected to get into higher education, talk less of getting into university.

Doesn’t that make you want to give God a big wave? A big ‘ I love you Jesus’?

Whoop!

P:S – of course I was bawling my eyes out by the time he was done. God is awesome. Truly, truly awesome.

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• We must decide to follow the truth of God’s word (davidcampbelljr.wordpress.com)
• Encountering Christ (leaninandlovemore.com)
• A Savior Worth Following (holyhighway.wordpress.com)
• faith.grace.Hope (barnardsimone.wordpress.com)

 

Blogging for Mumsnet, whoop!

First things first, I don’t have a child, at least not yet. But, I’ve taken care of quite a few of them, I love them to pieces, and there are few things I wouldn’t do for a child. One thing actually, and that is sucking their nose (to clean it out). You know when they are at that age when you can’t tell them ‘blow’ or mimic the nose-blowing action for them to follow successfully? I know aunts and moms who won’t hesitate to put mouth to nostril and…..yuck!

Ah! You’re still here! Means you didn’t bring up your breakfast. Seriously though, it relieves the child enough (there’s only a few things worse than seeing your baby with a stuffed nose, breathing from the mouth), and some claim, better than nasal sprays and things. Still can’t do it though! My friends who are moms say that as soon as I have my own babies I will do it but nope! I don’t think so!

I have a nephew who will be a year old in a few days, and I love him to pieces, just like I would love my own child. He’s my first official nephew, and my parents’ first grandchild. Naturally we dote on him, at some point he wasn’t allowed to cry (except my sister and I wanted to get a talking to from my mom), and to be honest he’s the cutest baby in the world!

I was there when he was born (well not there the entire time to be honest, I freaked out at some point), and I’ve bathed him, sang to him, fed him, rocked him to sleep, strapped him on my back. I’ve changed diapers, cleaned his vomit, read to him, prayed for him, endured him banging on my laptop (with bated breaths) cos he’s looking for himself inside it, what else could you do for a child?

I remember bawling in church one Sunday because my sister had sent me pictures of him very ill with quite the spread of rashes. But, I have never, and don’t plan to ever clean his nose (or any other nose for that matter) with my mouth thank you very much. My boyfriend might be open to that, I dunno. I’m happy to use Calpol nasal spray because it really, really worked for my nephew.

Ah ha! Now that that’s out of the way, I’m delighted to be joining Mumsnet Bloggers Network, I’ve read a lot of articles off that network and I sent in my application with my heart in my mouth. I was pretty chuffed to get that email welcoming me to the network, really chuffed!

I look forward to sharing stories from my childhood, tales from looking after my nephew (hereafter referred to as Boo Boo or Liam) and mirroring experiences from everyone else here.

I’m African, Nigerian to be precise and so even though I currently live in England, there are some parenting techniques/experiences I will write about that will be traditionally African (proudly) – so feel free to ask for explanations on anything!

Some days it’ll be full on posts, other days it’ll be short stories, and some days it might be a video or a picture, but you have my word that each offering will bring you back for more!

Hugs,

Future mom

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GTB and Me: short story.

I’ve been a Guaranty Trust Bank customer since 2003, just under thirteen years. A child born then would have started their period or had their first wet dream, depending on their gender. To be honest, I got the account because a close family friend worked there, and in the days when ATM’s weren’t popular, it was easy to ‘check my balance’ anytime I wanted.

Moved from one account to five in 2o10, needed the domiciliary accounts because I was going to school. Since then I’ve fallen in and out of love with GTBank several times and I’m almost equating my relationship with them to being in an abusive relationship I’m gathering the willpower to leave.

Some days I’ve found out my account was frozen (for the most silly, unfathomable reasons) when I tried to use my card, other days their ‘system was down’, while on some other days the card would just be declined, on a well-funded account. Each time I’d have to call, stay on hold (you know the drill), exchange emails, and not get anything sorted till I yelled. And then I’d feel bad about it later.

But, I have stayed. Why? Cos even with their cumbersome token business, theirs is the only Nigerian internet banking system I use, and so far, so good. Plus, being able to use my Naira card abroad is just brilliant. Saves me both time, and charges with transfers to my accounts here.

Today though, I’m livid.

I traveled to Nigeria on the 7th of March, got in early in the morning on the 8th. Same day, I went to GTBank situated in Bloomsbury Plaza, in Wuse 2, and asked for a new ATM card. My card would expire in April, my ticket back to England was dated 01-04-2013 (also known as the 1st of April), and I didn’t want to take any chances with it not being ready.

I spoke with Jimoh Ojo, a Customer Care Representative, and explained that I needed the card before the 1st because I needed to travel with it. He said I didn’t need to make a request for it, that my card would automatically be sent to Abakaliki, Ebonyi State, where the account was opened. I had no business there and I said so, and so he said to request a new card, I would be charged for it, and it would take eight days, during which the card I had would be disabled. I agreed, filled out a form, and left.

Traveled to the East a couple days after, got back to Abuja on Monday, and visited the bank on Wednesday the 27th of March to pick up the card. To start with, I had to stand and wait for the said Customer Care Representative to finish taking pictures of his colleague, then the female beside him asked what I was there for. I told them and after I wrote out my account number on a sheet of paper they provided, Jimoh Ojo said (very calmly), “your card would have been sent to Abakaliki”.

I nearly passed out. With all the pains I took to get to the bank on the 8th just to avoid this, and all the advice I was given? GTBank had NINETEEN (19) days to provide a card they claim is ready in 8 days, and what do I hear? With all the civility I had left, I explained the events of the 8th, expressed my displeasure and then he said, “let me see if the card was sent here”. Of course it wasn’t there. To check if the card had really been sent to Abakaliki, and I was told, “the system is down”.

Anger. Frustration. Disgust. Especially when they started on the ‘don’t be offended please’. Really? I should be ecstatic and probably buy you roses for not doing your job? I was going to sit and wait for the ‘system to come back up’ but he promised to sort it and let me know (plus I had so much to do) so I left. To be fair, he called later that evening, but only to say the system was still down. *sigh*

Thursday the 28th of March was the last working day before Easter, nothing. No word, no card.

I returned to England yesterday, without my ATM card, and bile in my heart, especially since when I tweeted about it, the silly person behind GTBank’s Twitter account sent me the generic, spam type message – Hi, our sincere apologies. Please contact us via careonline@gtbank.com with details of this issue. Thank you– they send to every tweet they’re mentioned in (I’m sure if I checked well they’d give that reply to a greeting as well).

Not due in Nigeria till Christmas time so dear Guaranty Trust Bank, what do I do? I’ll rephrase; what are you going to do?