#31Days31Writers: Tessa says, “I don’t have to feel perfect to give thanks”

Tessa’s on today, and her post is one that invokes memories for me, and I’m sure for everyone else who has ever lost someone. Her voice is one of thanksgiving though, and it is a charge to us that even on the days when we just want to curl up in a ball and moan, we can (and should be) thankful. Harder than it sounds I know, but doable.

I am writing the 30 days of gratitude challenge and even though I don’t feel perfect inside me, I realise that I don’t have to feel perfect to give thanks.

Why don’t I feel perfect?

I am still getting used to the fact that my dad is gone.

My daddy died on the 1st of October in the early hours of the morning.

I didn’t think I would cry but I did and I grieve but in spite of that I’m grateful for his life and that he got his chance to make his peace with God.

Life without God is not a walk in the park. I’m writing on my way to church. I’m thankful to God that he got a glimpse of God even if he didn’t get to walk closely with God.

I am thankful for my family. For love, for life, for God’s grace and favour. I’m thankful for the victories that we have gotten and more to come.

I’m thankful of all things for the relationship I have with God, even though I’ve not been talking much to Him, just listening. I’ve not gotten my bearings yet.

In spite of my silence, God is still good, I keep seeing His hand around me, even in things I didn’t pray about. I am kind of low on compassion these days cause I am looking out for yours truly.

I am thankful for the new year and this one. It would be interesting to see how we cope without our dad and who he was to us. I am confident though that God is not going anywhere, he remains in the midst of us, lifting, guiding, protecting, defending and leading us and most of all, I am confident he has good thoughts for us.

Nothing prepared me for this but I believe it’s the right time. It happened at the time that God allowed. I’m stretched on all sides trying to be everything for my family members and failing.

Now, from this moment, I surrender it all to God, He is the One who knows how to take care of us all, all the aspects of our lives, and most especially, our inner man, He knows how to soothe the hurts, how to work through the pain, pierce between soul and Spirit and bring peace and calm, he knows how to sort between friend and foe and bring helpers, Jonathan’s, sent by God.

He knows how to take off the pressure and lead beside the still waters, so even though I weep, I’m grateful for new things.

I trust God to make a way in the wilderness and bring streams in the deserts.

So in all the awesome things that have happened and in the passing of our father, the One God gave, I give thanks.

O Give thanks to the Lord, his mercies endureth forever.

First off, my most profound condolences on your dad…it is well with you. Receive strength and comfort from The One who gives and gives and gives. Plenty hugs, your family’s in my thoughts and prayers.

Second, I envy your relationship with God, seriously I do! And I trust Him for grace for myself to be able to lean on Him completely. 

That day, when foreign policy met business

So on the 15^th of October I attended the Diplomatic Dialogue Series organized by the Nigerian Leadership Initiative and hosted by the US Ambassador to Nigeria James Entwistle. The event was/is themed “where foreign policy meets business”.

Originally slated for 12.30pm, the event started by 1pm, and Taiwo Oyedele from PriceWaterCooper got us going with a brief background on America and Nigeria, and the history of both countries trading with each other. A few interesting things I learned, and will now share (some you might already know, so just skip).

• Nigeria with a population of 170 million people, produces (at its best) 3 million barrels of oil per day. The US, with 320 milion people, produces 9 million barrels of oil per day. Mr Oyedele said that at the rate they’re going they will overtake Saudi Arabia to become the largest exit producer in the world.
• The US is the largest oil importer from Nigeria, even though they more than double our production. Why? They consume so much! If we were half as developed as we should be, our energy needs will surpass our consumption.
• America’s the world’s largest economy, and the 3rd most populous nation (so we can stop asking why they keep playing Big Brother/Class Prefect to the world). Nigeria on the other hand is the most populous country in Africa and 7th in the world.

Mr Taiwo talked through potentials and opportunities for more trade between both countries and ended with a quote by Benjamin Franklin from 1778 –”I think that a young state, like a young virgin, should modestly stay at home, and wait the application of suitors for an alliance with her; and not run about offering her amity to all the world; and hazarding their refusal…. Our virgin is a jolly one; and tho at present not very rich, will in time be a great fortune, and where she has a favorable predisposition, it seems to me well worth cultivating.”

Spoke to me in more ways than one, that one. 

Then it was time to listen to the Ambassador, who started by saying his favourite quote by Benjamin Franklin said “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”. Funnily, in putting this together, here are a few sites that say that this quote is misattributed to Franklin.

One.

Two.

Three. 

Moving on, the Ambassador was quite charismatic, and I really enjoyed his presentation. He talked about the things he’d learned in Nigeria; including “all protocols observed”, and how every wife of a dignitary was “the amiable wife of…” Lol.

Entwistle, in talking about terrorism said America has learned (the hard way) that the civilian population must first feel like the government/military forces are on their side and actually mean to protect them.

He moved on to politics, saying that in 4 months, Nigeria will hold elections and he was sure Nigeria’s electoral commission had learned quite a few lessons leading up to February.

Entwistle said that he’s called (and is still calling) on politicians to take the ‘No-Violence’ pledge. He said he spoke to media moguls earlier in the day and told them about the resonating effect that would be had if politicians had to take the No-Violence pledge before they spoke, said anything at all.

Here are a few other things he said.

• Defeating terrorism goes beyond military power/prowess by itself. A big part of it is keeping the circular population safe. At whatever/all costs.
• America cannot lead on any intervention as far as Nigeria (or any other country for that matter) is concerned. The best they can do is SUPPORT. Really instructive.
• The US has pledged $15million to support free, fair, and successful elections. Again, the word there is support.

It was a really interesting afternoon, of course I chuckled when, during the interactive segment people were asked to pose questions and a particular guy who had ‘hustled’ for the microphone said, “mine is not a question, but a comment”. Lol… Why do we always do this? Always amuses me!

Reminds me of the social media and governance conference in 2012 that held in Abuja. I think we were down to the last question for Professor Jega (or someone super important like him), and there were so many hands up! The moderator picked out a lady, admonished her to keep her question short and to the point, and then she said, “I don’t really have a question, but a comment”. When I stopped laughing, I rolled my eyes till she sat down. SMH.

Anyway, so that was my 15th spent at the Metropolitan Club in VI, Lagos. Afterwards I went to Terra Kulture, where I met Tolu.

🙂

 

 

 

 

 

31 days 31 writers – yep, we’re doing it again in July!

Greetings from Barnes Close, Worcestershire, which played home to us fourteen women from different countries in Africa, being the second residency of five for Diaspora Women in England funded by the Royal Arts Society, Comic Relief, and delivered brilliantly by Jill, Amita, and Geeta of the Women, Leadership and Change program.

Wow! That was a mouthful! I’m thankful for being chosen to experience this exploration into ourselves, the study of different leadership styles, the amazing food at the Center for Peace and Reconciliation (where we are lodged), and the peace/serenity on this massive expanse of land. I’m even more grateful cos it seems like I haven’t spent more than 7 days in any place recently, and the peace, quiet, and absence of the internet is really welcome! Plus, it’s the beautiful month of May, the flowers are blooming, and the farm is really beautiful! Glory be to God I don’t have any allergies…

Now, who remembers 31 Days 31 writers from December? I know I do! From Sierra Leone to Sango Ota (not really, but I needed to use another ‘s’, lol), there was a writer everyday, telling us what their year had been like, lessons they had learned, people they were grateful to/for, and things they would do differently if they could.

One word? Ah-ma-zing! Incredible learning, it was like a 360 degrees lesson on life every time a new one was published! Old, young, big, small, I had the most the most exquisite pieces on the blog in December! Here are a couple, in no particular order.

“I would shut up and let her do her mothering” – Vickie Remoe #31days31writers

“I have learnt that homosexuality exists in 450 species” – Okechukwu is a shining star on #31days31writers today!

“I won the lottery!!” – Tolu #31days31writers

“Your friend is your need answered” – a surprise appearance on the #31days31writers project!

“I have so much to be grateful for!” – Mac-Jordan #31Days31Writers

“The internet lives” – Pa Ikhide starts the second week of my #31days31writers project!

“Who says black men shouldn’t cry?” – My girl Francesca Uriri! #31days31writers

Guess what? We’re doing it again in July! Whoop! How about an appraisal of the first six months of the year, what you’re excited about, definitely what you’re grateful for, and what you’re looking forward to as we speed to the end of 2014! I’m excited already!

I’m not sure yet if I want people who have written before to go again (so we can accommodate new voices), but I won’t say no to anyone. How’s that?

Interested? Of course you are! You can tweet me to say you’re interested (@ChiomaChuka), DM an email address if we follow each other, or simply send me an email here – dfairygodsister(at)yahoo(dot)com.

There are 20 slots, and it’s as simple as the first to get in touch get the slots! It would be absolutely fabulous if all the pieces are scheduled by the end of the month so get in touch already!

 

Related articles

• Introducing #AlderSMR Panel: Chioma Chuka Agwuegbo
• Why Resolutions Suck
• “I guess that’s what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.”
• 31 Days of Living a Passionate Life, Day 7 = Gratitude
• Guest Writer: Kathy B May 31 2014

Lessons from our little ones… because children are a gift!

So I was in Nigeria at the end of February (don’t even ask why I’m writing about this now), and it was such a blessing to be home! My father surprised me by meeting me at the airport, and my sister waited at home for me so I could take my nephew to school! What a joy, especially since he recognized me!

I love him to pieces!

I spent six days in Abuja, and I promise you I could blog about every single day I spent with my boy! I learned a lot of things from him too, and that’s what this chronicle is about.

1. Children do exactly what they see adults do, not really what you say. Apart from ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’, the constants in my nephew’s mouth are ‘sit down’, ‘no, no, no, no, no’, shut the door’, etc., all with the accompanying hand gestures! Hilarious. First time he wagged his baby fingers while Skyping me, I nearly fell from my chair with laughter.

We’ve got videos of Boo Boo doing squats because his mom and I were doing them, and there’s the time he picked up his belt and started jumping with his arms stretched out in front of him…again because he’d seen his Momma skipping earlier!

Lesson: Be careful – you can give a million pieces of advice, but it is what you do that your children will do.

2. The award for short attention span – has to go to children. The younger, the shorter. Once you understand this point to the ‘t’, you will live a long and prosperous life! By long and prosperous I mean you won’t burst an artery in anger because it seems like you’re saying the same thing over and over again! Cue me telling Boo Boo not to touch the keyboard on my laptop when we’re watching anything on it. I tell him, he takes his fingers off. Exactly 90 seconds after, you’ll hear, “Boo Boo but I told you not to touch it”… and another 60 seconds later, sigh.

3. Their little gestures make everything worth it. One of the days on this trip was very difficult, it seemed like everything that could go wrong, went wrong and by the end of the day, I was truly upset with it all.

I got home, and as soon as I walked in the door Boo Boo looked up and shouted ‘Mama’, and ran to hug me. The light in his eyes, the excitement in his voice, and the big cuddle we shared made everything ok. Instantly.

4. Curiosity killed the cat – what I actually meant to say is that the curiosity of your little one will kill (literally) a few o four possessions. Not because they are inherently destructive, but because their minds are expanding, and it is understanding things around them that causes this expansion. God is a rock star in the sense that often times the things little children are drawn to play a big part in determining what careers they go for later in life.

We set Boo Boo down in the living room to watch reruns of Muppet Show ( I have no faith in the cartoons of today): my sister and I were sorting his clothes in the room.

After a little while we felt like going to check on him (since he had been worryingly quiet), and here’s what we found.

His majesty had separated the remote! What amused me most was the way he didn’t even flinch when we came into the living room, like in his mind, he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.

Crossed legs and everything, my baby is a boss!

Let’s end this with me calling my sister a couple nights ago to ask her to Skype me later so I could chat with Boo Boo (like to do this at least once a week so he doesn’t forget me) and she said she couldn’t.

Why?

His majesty had immersed her iPad in a bucket of water! By the time she found, out, it had soaked, and the prayer became, “Oh God please let it work again, or let me be able to claim on my insurance”!

But we thank God for children everyday because they are a joy, a blessing, an absolute gift from God that give our lives meaning and instill responsibility in us. And today I celebrate my nephew, praising God for the cutest baby on earth, my nephew Boo Boo!

Related articles

• Baby Girl Needs a Nap!
• Honey Boo Boo’s Sister Anna Gets Engaged To Her Boyfriend!
• A Small Gift, Mini-Afro and Big Lesson
• 8 Things You Learn in Parenthood

Aberdeen Baby!! Pictures, pictures, and more pictures!

Right, so I decided to dedicate one full post to all the photos I took in Aberdeen…. I’ll update this lot as more come in. Ok? Quick warning, a number of them are of delicious looking food so I hope you’re not supposed to be abstaining from meals when you look at this!!

My special party favour pack (and note) from namesake and mother of the gorgeous, gorgeous baby!

My dessert at TGI Fridays, a warm, moist chocolate brownie with ice cream and a caramel spread! Sinful!!!

The view from my hotel room, lovely!! Grey today though, and it was almost 9am!

Whoop!! So Fran’s husband made lunch (yes this was made by a man, an engineer for that matter)… Yum! Yum! Yum! Salmon was to die for!

Yeah!! Bet you didn’t know I was going to capture that!! All that whipped cream… #Foodie

Breakfast anyone? The full cholesterol diet, according to a very dear friend of mine…

This is what I had on the day of the party, fried rice, grilled chicken, a bit of coleslaw, and stir fried beef! Yum!

Just one comment: everything on this table was made by Lanzo(Fran’s hubby)! And it tasted wonderful! #Teamhubbyswhocancook

Super gorgeous Talia!!! Beautiful, darling girl! God bless and keep you Sweetie! Fran she needs siblings, already!!!

Another day, another breakfast tray! #Foodie

The reason I went to Aberdeen, gorgeous, precious Talia!

A lovely room for a lovely blogger!!! Didn’t believe Premier Inn rooms could be this nice, but I loved it!!

I promise to remember the name of this restaurant at Gatwick airport and then come back to update this… Food was awesome!

That’s it, took this long but I’ve finally wrapped on my Aberdeen trip! Hope you enjoyed the posts, and the pictures!

Mwah!

Related articles

• Aberdeen baby!! Of course there are stories in this one! (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)
• Aberdeen to Buy Scottish Widows Investment Partnership-source (uk.reuters.com)
• Aberdeen baby!! A few thoughts, and some lessons I learned (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)

Got to drum (an amazing short clip you should see)

I love street performances. Always have loved them. I’m like a little child whenever I watch them, and I never want to know how the tricks are done. Just keep doing them!

When I saw the caption for the video, an attack on social media junkies who “won’t carry this video”, I almost didn’t look at it.

But before I shut the page, I saw the Peak milk tins, and that held my attention. So I clicked play. Say hello to lovely music, reminiscent of my years living in Aba, Abia State. The little boy went from high-life, to calypso, and then to ‘Ariaria’ and I nearly got up from my bed to dance! Blame my duvet for strapping me to the bed and refusing to let go! Lol…

I don’t know what excited me more, the passion and concentration I could see on the boy’s face, the creativity and ingenuity that manifested as his drum set, the hours he had to have put into rehearsing, the fact that he was getting some attention (and some money as well), or the simple truth about the music being really good!

I don’t know who the boy is, and there were about 12, 000 shares of this video on Facebook so I don’t even want to think of finding him that way, but I knew I had to share!

Did you like it? Of course you did! Say thank you….

ABUJA TO LAGOS AND BACK!

My holiday this year has quite a few trips embedded in it because I determined to get as much work (and play) into the short bit of time I have here. One of those trips was to Lagos, and that’s the first bit of this tale.

ABJ to LOS

Flight was for 12.45pm on a certain day; I’d worn heels to the airport (something I haven’t done in more than a year) and they were biting into my heels; I’d end up with blisters and a resolve not to try that again at the end of the day. I also forgot my business cards ar home so I wasn’t exactly a happy bunny; especially when, for all my rushing, by 1pm we still hadn’t been called to board!

1.30pm there was an announcement that our flight had been delayed for 50 minutes. Whether 50 minutes from the original time or from 1.30pm, we eventually took off about 3.20pm. *Sigh*

Some dude said hello to me while I checked in what could easily have been hand luggage (didn’t want to have to speak English to anyone over the liquids in them), and so when I went up to the departure lounge and there was a seat around him, I sat there. By the way, shout out to the baggage handlers for ripping out the handle of my box!

We got chatting, about work, school, my nephew, you know, regular stuff. Found out he’s Cross Riverian and I mentioned I would be catching a bit of Calabar Carnival this year. He asked where I would be staying (of course I didn’t say) and then he asked if he could stay with me, keep me company (of course I said no). He went on about that for a bit, and then said, ‘let me tell you the truth; I’m married’. I smiled, said ‘ok’, and then asked if he had any kids. Yes, he had one, about eight months older than my Boo Boo. Somehow I steered the conversation towards children and we chatted about that; you know, doused the awkwardness a bit.

We popped into the Biobak (there’s one in the lounge) for a bite (with their cold fish, SMH) and then he asked for my BB Pin. Quick mental check in my head showed there wasn’t any potential business, no potential gist after that day so I smiled and said no. To my surprise, the young man started lamenting o, that this was his problem with being married, people (especially ladies) started treating him like a leper, keeping him at arms length, etc. Didn’t know when I started laughing; this tirade just because I didn’t give you my pin?

We were called to board, and fortunately the flight was full so he couldn’t switch and sit beside me as he planned and when we got off in Lagos, I thanked him for his company during the wait, and left. Na wa!

By the way, there was this mother with three really cute children on the flight. The oldest couldn’t be more than eight (8), and all three talked nonstop from Abuja to Lagos (very loudly of course). It would have been very annoying had it not been absolutely hilarious! I’ll attempt to reconstruct one of the many conversations the children had…

Girl: Mommy please I’m hungry

Mom: no you’re not hungry, you’ve just had lunch. You just want to eat this meat-pie and I’ve said you can’t have it till we get to Lagos

Girl (stays quiet for all of two minutes): Mommy my tummy is paining me.

Mommy: no, your tummy isn’t hurting. You’ll get the meat-pie once we get to Lagos. What will you eat when your brothers are eating theirs if you eat yours now?

Girl: my tummy won’t be paining me then, the way it is paining me now. (proceeds to make some ‘in pain’ noises)

God bless our mothers for their patience walai….. Reminds me of a younger me, and my shenanigans when I wanted to eat something and Momma said no. At school we’d been taught about enzymes and how they digest food in the body and I remember being so fascinated I told my Dad about it. So, once Momma said no I’d run to my Dad and in my best, guilt-inducing voice say, ‘my stomach is empty Daddy, my enzymes are eating me! Of course he’d find my Mom or my big sister and start saying, ‘you people should feed my child o, see she’s disappearing before my eyes because her enzymes are eating her’! Bless him!

LOS to ABJ

Flight was on time (shout out to Aero)! Tooth hurt like crazy the entire flight though; it’s amazing how my entire life I’ve never needed a dentist but I’ve seen one in the last two weeks and all of a sudden my teeth are falling apart! It’s even more amazing that I went from the airport to the Dentist’s and now there’s talk about taking out four of my teeth. And ruin my holiday? *Mega Sigh*

Thank you Lord for journey mercies,  you are a good God!

Related articles

• Hot or Miss- Anne Idibia at the Playa’s ball party in Lagos (fashionati.wordpress.com)

That ‘Green Deal’ Weekend….

When Miss @AbangMercy rang to tell me she’d be in London for a few days for the Green Deal event, I was excited! Not only because it would be great to see her (or because it was the making of a proper ladies weekend), I was finally going to get a first hand handle on Heinrich Boll, and what all the fuss about Nigeria going green ‘immediately’ was about.

Then I heard @xeenarh was coming too, sounded good – from the days of the Occupy Nigeria protests when she and a few others got tear-gassed and beaten by the Police (and/or military), I knew she was of a different ilk from the clanging  cymbals but no action type on Twitter. And I wanted to meet her too!

@Omojuwa was billed to come too, met him for the first time in May this year, we’ve been friends since. Weekend shaping up nicely huh?

Friday morning I popped to Kings Cross to meet up with the girls. After waiting a bit Mercy appeared, I dropped my overnight bag (do we still call them vanity cases) and then we were off to Finsbury Park. Three hours, some tears (of joy) and loads of shopping later, we headed for Westfield (Stratford City) to meet @aninoritse and @Tomi_Ola. Do I have memories of Westfield or what!!!

We met the ladies, and the craziness began! In and out of shops, we chattered, laughed, and just had a wonderful  time poking fun at ourselves! Can I mention that Tomi was meeting Mercy and Anino for the first time? I remember her saying, “Anino, you are really your tweets”. Social media moment, lol.

Back to the hotel, where we joked about everything under the sun, and then got a call from reception telling us to ‘please keep it down’. Of course it was them, I wasn’t even making noise at all!

Yep! Then we remembered we had to eat, and popped to Indian House for dinner. Meal was really good, Biriyani I think. I remember Mercy complaining about the jug of water with slices of lemon inside. “The water I know doesn’t have anything inside biko”; hilarity for days!

Next day we were up and out of the house by 7.40am, headed for? You guessed right, Oxford Circus! Shopped till 11am, ran back to the hotel and I nearly collapsed from hunger! By the way the ladies totally ruined my diet (not that I’m complaining *smile*)

Got changed and it was off to the Green Deal event. Awesome presentations by Xeenarh, Mercy and Omojuwa, was so proud of them! Robust discussion too, all of that’s captured in the ‘Green Deal: The Real Deal’ post.

We all had cake (further destroying the diet), and we took loads of pictures!! Whoop!

From left to right, @FidelisMbah, @Abangmercy, @DoubleEph, @ChiomaChuka, @Tomi_Ola, @Omojuwa, @aninoritse, @forakin, and @Operko. Don’t know the name of the guy behind Mercy…

Headed to Emukay for dinner with @forakin (what a gentleman); we got there about 7pm and were a little worried because the place was empty. Started filling up about  8.30pm and by the time we left, it was packed full. No wonder Nigerians have pouches, we eat so late! And see people guzzling beer! *Le sigh*

Last night of noise making, @Omojuwa dropped in for a few minutes with one cute guy like that. More gist after they left, and then we slept (more like we dropped off)!

Mercy took this picture of us in the morning, I absolutely love it!

And I love you girls, thanks for the most amazing weekend!

Related articles

• 2 Fabulous Saturdays in a row! (fairygodsister.wordpress.com)
• Arik Air blacklists FAAN MD, Omojuwa 25 Others From Its Flight (naijapen.wordpress.com)
• Green White Green (evatese.wordpress.com)
• Coastal Erosion: Stakeholders fault development of Eko Atlantic (ejaife.wordpress.com)
• Workshop on flood resilient buildings and environmental design (7venhillsmedia.wordpress.com)
• Look at how Germany is getting to renewable energy (iflizwerequeen.com)