Posts Tagged ‘God the Father’

Tessa’s on today, and her post is one that invokes memories for me, and I’m sure for everyone else who has ever lost someone. Her voice is one of thanksgiving though, and it is a charge to us that even on the days when we just want to curl up in a ball and moan, we can (and should be) thankful. Harder than it sounds I know, but doable.

I am writing the 30 days of gratitude challenge and even though I don’t feel perfect inside me, I realise that I don’t have to feel perfect to give thanks.

Why don’t I feel perfect?

I am still getting used to the fact that my dad is gone.

My daddy died on the 1st of October in the early hours of the morning.

I didn’t think I would cry but I did and I grieve but in spite of that I’m grateful for his life and that he got his chance to make his peace with God.

Life without God is not a walk in the park. I’m writing on my way to church. I’m thankful to God that he got a glimpse of God even if he didn’t get to walk closely with God.

I am thankful for my family. For love, for life, for God’s grace and favour. I’m thankful for the victories that we have gotten and more to come.

I’m thankful of all things for the relationship I have with God, even though I’ve not been talking much to Him, just listening. I’ve not gotten my bearings yet.

In spite of my silence, God is still good, I keep seeing His hand around me, even in things I didn’t pray about. I am kind of low on compassion these days cause I am looking out for yours truly.

I am thankful for the new year and this one. It would be interesting to see how we cope without our dad and who he was to us. I am confident though that God is not going anywhere, he remains in the midst of us, lifting, guiding, protecting, defending and leading us and most of all, I am confident he has good thoughts for us.

Nothing prepared me for this but I believe it’s the right time. It happened at the time that God allowed. I’m stretched on all sides trying to be everything for my family members and failing.

Now, from this moment, I surrender it all to God, He is the One who knows how to take care of us all, all the aspects of our lives, and most especially, our inner man, He knows how to soothe the hurts, how to work through the pain, pierce between soul and Spirit and bring peace and calm, he knows how to sort between friend and foe and bring helpers, Jonathan’s, sent by God.

He knows how to take off the pressure and lead beside the still waters, so even though I weep, I’m grateful for new things.

I trust God to make a way in the wilderness and bring streams in the deserts.

So in all the awesome things that have happened and in the passing of our father, the One God gave, I give thanks.

O Give thanks to the Lord, his mercies endureth forever.

First off, my most profound condolences on your dad…it is well with you. Receive strength and comfort from The One who gives and gives and gives. Plenty hugs, your family’s in my thoughts and prayers.

Second, I envy your relationship with God, seriously I do! And I trust Him for grace for myself to be able to lean on Him completely. 

Sometime in the middle of the month I became a little fed-up of sending countless reminders to people to send in their pieces. By the 24th I’d missed two days, and I didn’t want to miss anymore, so I stopped mailing people and used the opportunity to publish pieces I’d written since June.

And suddenly, people started getting in touch to say their posts were almost ready. Lol. But then Ore emailed his, apologizing for being late, and without reading it (or checking the word count), I replied saying I felt he overshot the word count but I would publish today. He was sure he did 600 words and he said so. He was right, and I’m sorry.

I just read it now and it must have been God who made me pick this post for today. Dang!! Home truth after home truth, homie hit every note with this piece! Like, I’m so excited with it! Whoop! Feels like such a beautiful end to a beautiful series, and I couldn’t be any more chuffed!

Enjoy!

I bought a pack of Post-It notes today.

Or maybe I didn’t, I’m not sure.

Okay, I didn’t.

Seems like I need to constantly remind myself to remember.

And also to never forget that my life is beautiful.

Because it is.

But how did I get here?

Several times this year I have felt deeply sorry for myself, wallowing in self-generated moroseness as I contemplated my apparent lack of achievements. I would waste hours drawing up comparisons between myself and others who seem to have gotten it together, whatever that means. In the end, there would be no lesson learned and no grand plan for a swift turnaround conceived. A miserable state of affairs, if I may say so myself.

I wasn’t doing myself any good and I knew it, but the habit had become far too ingrained for me to dispatch it with a swift kick. And so I carried on in this pathetic way, patching my doubt-ridden self-esteem inwardly with hollow motivational speeches delivered without any feeling to my equally unbelieving reflection in the mirror, and outwardly with smiles so superficial that could very well have been velcroed onto my face.

Until one day when, out of the greys (the skies never seemed blue then), I asked myself the one question I had never before thought to ask:

So I need a turnaround, but a turnaround from what exactly?

The answers, they tumbled out from the depths of my soul of their own accord:

1. From a family that treats me like I’m a godsend?

2. From a job I’m incredibly good at?

3. From the God who loves me unconditionally even though I have failed Him too many times to count?

And on I went with the list of positives, like a man who all his life had been convinced that he was lame but suddenly found that he could not just walk but fly.

Stacked up this way, my blessings dwarfed my mountain of supposed underachievement. You see, I had been wearing my misery-coloured shades for so long that all the good things in my life had become near-invisible and my measure of success was all the stuff I didn’t have, stuff I didn’t even need to be happy.

Bear with me while I struggle not to come off as preachy, please.

I’m truly sorry if you have no place for the God of the universe in your world, He makes all the difference. I’m as sure of this as I have no doubt that if I eat a meal of boiled beans and go to bed right afterwards, I will wake up with an upset stomach. That has never failed to happen, and God has never failed to come through for me. That is no small comfort.

So I am thankful for my faith in Him. That faith will guide me to everything good. At my own pace. In His time. I’m not in a hurry, lest my feet find paths they were not made to follow.

I am no longer afraid of the world’s critical examination of my life, no longer afraid that my shortcomings will be spotlighted and my carefully cultured thick skin will rupture as soon as the shower of prickly insults cleverly disguised as ‘good’ advice begins to rain down on me.

I have learned to count my blessings, and they have begun to grow.

And because I have been counting, I am becoming a blessing myself.

If that’s not an achievement, I don’t know what is.

The rest of the year will be fine. I look forward to more counting.

Lomogram_2013-07-07_04-07-00-PM

Boom! What did I tell you? Absolutely loved it!

Late last year I was discussing with a very dear friend;  you know those discussions that stretch far into the night, and range from politics, to education, to romance, back to politics, family, etc. An aside, it is to the arms of these friends we run when we are scared, confused, or in need of reassurance.

That night, in response to a question I raised about not being sure of having God’s ear every time I prayed, my buddy gave me this analogy he had himself received from a friend.

He said that christians from the beginning of time don’t really grasp the greatness of out God. We don’t really comprehend how big He is, how much bigger He is than us. Consequently, we underestimate Him. We don’t believe he can sort out our issues. maybe we do, when we’re screaming ‘Amen’ with he saints at church. But when we get home, in our secret places, when the rubber hits the road, we don’t believe He can come through for us. Somehow we believe that God created the world and everything in it in seven days, we believe He is ‘Jehovah Everything’ but at the same time we just fear that maybe our problems are too much for God. “Is there anything too hard for God“? – Jeremiah 32: 27, Genesis 18:14.

A direct consequence of that fear is that we don’t dream big. We try to ask for little things from God either because we don’t want to be disappointed (if our prayers go unanswered) or because we let the devil fill our head with the age-old lie that God won’t hear us because we’ve sinned or are unrighteous. Wait a minute… Do you think God loves us because we’re ‘righteous’? Have you not read that our righteousness is as filthy rags? Moving on, aren’t we admonished in the scriptures thus “hitherto have you asked me nothing; but ask that I may give, that your joy might be full” – John 16:24

The same God said in Matthew 7:7ask, and receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” God didn’t say to ask for little things, He didn’t say, ‘take it easy with me, so you don’t stress me’. No!! He is the Alpha, the Omega, all you need to have all your needs met! The earth and everything in it belongs to Him remember? Psalm 24: 1. ASK! ASK! ASK ALREADY!

I’m speaking to myself as well on this one: ASK Fairy GodSister, ASK! And believe that you will receive what you have asked for. Why? Because you’re asking your father, and you know He won’t withhold any good thing from you. Break it down like this: you ask your earthly father for N100 to buy lunch; you don’t doubt even for a second that he’ll give it to you because you know he loves you and won’t let you starve. How much more our father in Heaven who owns everything? How/why do we let the devil deceive and rob us of our blessings from God?

It so affects us that when a word of prophecy goes out concerning us, in our minds we ‘reduce’ (whether consciously or unconsciously) the scope of that prophecy for the reasons outlined above. We become what my dad calls ‘shovel christians’, shovelling all the prophecies anywhere but in our own direction where I daresay they are needed the most! Whatever happened to believing 2 Chronicles 20: 20? “Believe in the LORD your God, so shall ye be established; believe his prophets, so shall ye prosper.”

Men and brethren, enough of that! There’s nothing as amazing as a concrete knowledge of who you are in Christ; not only will it work wonders for your confidence levels, it will ensure you ‘go boldly before the throne of grace’. Where else do we have to go anyways?

Have a fabulous Jesus week!

P:S – You won’t believe I didn’t even run through the scenarios my buddy painted for me! I’m sorry, I’ll do that next week!

How big is your God?

 

Ok! Before I say anything, can you put both hands up and say a big thank you to our ever faithful God for the privilege of another day? For countless journeys and His mercies that attend each trip, for the seemingly mundane things like waking up every day, eating the food digesting without any issues, the gift of air (and the ability to breathe unaided) that He gives without fail everyday, the functional brain, heart, and organs we’ve got, I could go on and on and on!! This God is merciful o!!!

Today’s chronicle is a testimony that happened this morning. Seriously. And I want you to read, and join me in appreciating this great God!

I spent the night at Wumi’s house because my flatmate has to be away for a few days and as much as I love the Broadway house I hate sleeping alone in a building. And the house is big!

So I slept at Wumi’s, we woke up early because she had to go to work and I had to run through a lot on my to-do list (books, culinary, laundry), before night/end of the day.

Walking home, there’s a T junction I have to cross which I always dread (today was no exception) especially there’s no ‘pedestrian help’ (I don’t know the name of that thing but I’m sure you get the idea). Anyways, so I approached the road as cautiously as always. Listening to MI and Waje‘s ‘One Naira’ on my iPod, I looked left, right, and then left again. Abi? All clear, so I crossed.

I forgot to mention that it’s a two-lane road, going and coming. There was a truck blocking my view from seeing the other lane but honestly I had seen a bus parked at the bus stop (effectively stopping any other car from moving past it) and of course there was the truck on my side, caught in traffic. Also, I had seen the line of people waiting to board the bus and calculated that it would be enough time for me to cross the road. Again, meant all clear abi?

I entered the road, and next I saw was the terrifying red of the bus inches away from me. How he pressed the brakes, how I got over my initial stunned state and got to the sidewalk, I will never know. I do remember running of course, but I also remember thinking, ‘this is it’.

Thank you Jesus from the bottom of my heart for keeping me, for not letting my family and friends mourn. Thank you for preserving me, and thank you for the privilege of another day!!!

Home safe, sound but still very shaken, it’s time to go have another bath. Why? I just noticed that I peed on myself. *sigh*