“No more Mr Nice Guy” – Mr Mobility! #31days 31 writers

We’re getting along nicely aren’t we? It’s day 5 already!

I don’t even remember how I met Yomi, I know it was online though, and then I had the privilege of meeting him sometime in May last year. He’s a great, older friend who is always a phone call away when I just need to chat about stuff. He’s also the first person I’d talk to if I need to make any hardware decisions, he’s just great like that!

Excited to present the one and only, Mr Mobility!

My name is Yomi Adegboye, though chances are that you know my alter ego, Mister Mobility, better. I am 100% Nigerian. I am a speaker, writer, blogger and techie, and I run Mobility.ng, the most referenced and most respected mobile interest and lifestyle blog on the African continent.

One Thing I Learned In 2013?

I would say that I learnt that no individual is significantly different from the rest of the species. We are all humans. Because we live under different conditions and have to deal with different issues, it may seem that people are really different. But that apparent difference is only skin deep. People will always be people – fallible and so won’t always meet up to your expectations, even when they mean well. A cynical position? Maybe. But every bit the reality on ground regardless of where you turn. Under a specific set of circumstances, human beings are predictable.

What I Am Most Grateful For?

For family and friends, no doubt. I cherish my work and achievements, but the greatest blessings in my life are my family and my friends. I devote as much time as possible to these awesome people who fall within these two circles. Regardless of how talented, powerful or successful one is, in a sense, one needs family and friends. At least, I do.

One Thing I Would Do Differently

I would choose a harder/tougher approach to business. Being Mr Nice in business has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I am adjusting already, of course. I am no longer as nice as I used to be and now have no problems making the tough decisions, regardless of how uncomfortable I may feel about them, or how unpopular they may be. I used to wonder why the most successful people in business seem to be hard/tough people. I no longer do. It is a requirement for success.

God who cannot lie… Humans lie…

When I was younger, if something unpleasant was going to happen (like I was about to tumble down the stairs, or more realistically, I came home with another dismal grade in math) my mom would say something like, ‘God did not promise me this’. To her (and this is a belief that I’ve embraced wholeheartedly thanks to her), God is the author of EVERY good thing, and God would never let any evil come near her or hers, even in the form of my math scores!! Ha ha! Don’t get it twisted o, I was exceptional at English and any other subject where my head would be allowed to roam. But that math? Naaaa!

Another thing Momma instilled in us was ‘God (who) cannot lie‘. And He can’t.  Several times in the scriptures we see where that is alluded to, either in Psalms, “my covenant will I not break, nor alter that which has gone from my lips’, the book of Numbers where we see ‘surely as you have spoken in my ears, so will I do unto you’, on and on and on. Noticed I’m a Kings James version child yet? *wink*

My favorite scripture though is in the book of Titus where it says, “God who cannot lie”… Boom! As in, even if God woke up today, this beautiful Friday and said, “you know what guys, I want to start lying”, He can’t! It’s not in His nature! Whoop! Whoop! That scripture gives me such joy!

So in the same way that I cannot be a whiz at math (I’ve given up don’t worry), God cannot lie. At all. Guess what though? Humans lie.

Ooh yes humans lie. Through the skin of their teeth, while looking you straight in the eyes (that’s after you’ve asked them to look you in the eyes and tell you the truth), humans tell the greatest fibs known to… humans! Dang!

Have you ever been lied to? I guess we’ll all say yes. Have you lied to someone? Same answer, yes. Why did you lie,  was it to escape punishment of some sort, appear better than you are,  gain undue advantage over your peers, cover or commit a crime, or because you were afraid? Let’s flip it a bit, why do you think you were lied to? Amongst other reasons, was the person trying to ‘protect’ you? What on earth does that even mean? Shaking My Head!!!

In my short time on earth, I’ve met people who told me horrible lies, and then when I was gutted from finding out, said, ‘I was doing it to protect you’. Protect me from what exactly? The hurt and pain I now feel from finding out even your greetings were lies?

Hmmm, I can imagine you settling in, probably even grabbing a bowl of popcorn in anticipation of some juicy gist, what my people will call ‘gbeborun/tatafo’.  There’s nothing here o, get a move on!

Ok, perhaps I will share the story that inspired this post some day. Just know that ‘someday’ might be when I’m 70 (so you don’t say I lied to you, and yes I plan to still be blogging then). I will tell the story of how implicit trust was broken, how I literally jumped from a frying pan to a furnace in the name of escaping one evil.

To digress, have you ever been in that place? Tried to dodge one evil and then found yourself ensconced in another, in what you thought would be your safety? My dear, not an easy place to be in at all.

All this ‘rigmarolling’ is to tell us to be careful from here on, beyond being a sin (and I’m not even going to start preaching here), lies hurt. They break hearts, trusts, and beautiful friendships. They (literally) remove the essence of relationships, they literally kill them. Some people have hurt themselves (sometimes gravely) because they were lied to, and I don’t think any of us want that on our conscience.

Try. Let’s see if we can get through the entire day (from when we get out of bed to when we get back in), not to tell a lie. Not a small one, or a white one, or a lie to ‘protect’ someone or what we think we have with them, nothing of the sort. Let’s try today. I’ll be trying too.

Life, love, and the best weekend ever,

The FGS.

 

SPEAK OUT!

Did you watch ‘Speak Out’ as a child? That question is directed to people 22 years and older who spent their childhood in Nigeria.

I did, and even though all I remember about it is the montage with the very loud ‘speeeeaaaak out’ at the end – I remember that I always looked forward to that bit so I could ‘scream along’, much to my mother’s chagrin.

I read a post on Bella Naija recently;  someone wrote about 7 things she wished she knew before she turned 25. Beautiful post, poignant points, real life lessons. One of them stood out for me, and I’ve copied and pasted it below.

People are willing to help: People are more willing to help than you think; all you need to do is ask. This is very true, but fear of being turned down or lack of confidence in yourself would stop you from asking most times 

Certain events in the past week have impressed one thought in my heart, no man is an island – if we weren’t supposed to have support systems it would have been one person to one country or one person to one continent. God in His infinite wisdom knew that we’d need one another at different times, for different things and that’s why we’re born into families, we live in communities, we take classes with other human beings, we fall in love, remain or fall out of it, and one way or the other birth offspring to start this process all over again.

Therefore ladies and gentlemen, I hope I have been able to convince and not confuse you (lol) that we need each other, and should speak to each other when we have issues we cannot tackle on our own.

I know that deep down in your mind you might counter my ‘ a problem shared is a problem solved’ with ‘ people who can’t solve your problems compound or share them’ but the  fact that someone fell down a bicycle doesn’t mean you won’t ever ride. I don’t ride bicycles anymore but that’s a totally different story. We have all had bad experiences from things we tried out but it doesn’t mean we stop trying, just shows one more way not to do whatever it is we did. Right?

Suffering whatever challenge you might be facing alone is not the smartest thing to do, believe me. Take a second, think about it – it’s probably a challenge because you haven’t been able to answer a question, correct a deficiency, or get yourself out of an unpleasant situation. You haven’t been able to do it yourself, you refuse to seek help, and yet you expect the situation to change. Seriously? Ever heard the “insanity is doing the same thing over and again and expecting different results” quote?

My Darlings, speak out, help for whatever you’re going through is closer than you think. Don’t shortchange yourself. Life is too short to live one that isn’t a 100% fulfilling; it’s too damn short.

If you’re extra concerned about your privacy (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that), seek counsel or help from a different state, city, country even, and you don’t have to travel; just do whatever you’re most comfortable with.

Let’s do life together, there’s no reason to go it alone.

Hugs.

courtesy peopleoffaith.org

P:S – Happy Mothers Day to mothers everywhere!!!! You rock!

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