#31Days31Writers: Demola “Learnt more about the nature of men”

Demola the politician. Demola the PDP guy. Those are probably the bits of Demola the world (read as young Nigerians within and outside the country) know. I know a Demola who loves history, who can quote Nigerian history from here till tomorrow and not make a mistake. From this post, you’ll meet a Demola who’s head over heels for his family, and his entry (very quiet but laden with wisdom) is a joy for me to share today.

This time last year, my son was just few weeks old and since then, I’ve watched him grow and learn. And I have learnt as well… seeing the world as he sees it, seeing him struggle to understand the nature of things as they are – that a ball rolls but a remote control won’t/can’t. That the flick of a switch can flood a room with light, that a bed doesn’t make a good place to walk but the floor isn’t good for rolling around either. That my phone cannot be chewed and that every morning he has to get his body washed, though he doesn’t like it. He’s learning the nature of things and the laws that govern them and I have also learnt.

I’ve learnt more about the nature of men – that people are often who they show themselves to be, not what you imagine them to be. That who they are is often obvious but emotions blind us to their reality. I’ve learnt to work more with my instincts about people and not question those instincts.

I’m grateful for relationships and the doors they opened this year. Grateful for life, for love, for friendships and for family. I find it hard to be grateful most times about life because there’s always so much more I want it to yield to me so I should be grateful for this chance to write about my gratitude.

Let me think for a minute please.

I am grateful for my son. He’s moved to being the centre of my world in the most amazing ways – no matter how things upset me on the outside, I only have to think of his unflappable spirit and I smile. The woman who takes care of him is the woman in my life – that’s my wife is also another reason to be grateful. She’s understanding and very tolerating of my excesses. I’m not the easiest person to live with but she has managed to cope with me.

All life for me is an experience and there is little I would undo if I could but I could have done some things better this year. I’m one of those who believe it is up to me if things will be or not – like if Arsenal loses a football match and I did not watch it, I think they lost because I did not watch. I had a small chance to play a small part in the last presidential elections and I saw my party make mistakes. I truly believed we had the better candidate, I truly believed our platform was the best for the country. I shouted, but I could have shouted harder. I fought but I could have fought more. I could have challenged those who assumed we would win as we always do – but perhaps I too was guilty of thinking that our candidate would do all it took to win, unlike he had promised to do.

In a way, that loss turned out to be a good thing – I’ve learnt now to fight harder to make my views known in any political setting and not succumb to prevalent wisdom. I’m more convinced about the things I suggested – a victory would have meant my methodology wasn’t necessary but now I know it was and better? My party knows too.

I would also have loved to have published a couple of books this year – one written already on my laptop so if you’re reading this and think you’re into publishing: holler.

2015 has been a great year as I reflect on it and I’m hopeful of a greater 2016.

Awww, so cute how you talk about your son and your wife, family is precious and I’m all about that! I’m also excited about the new dispensation with a new party in power, big hopes and prayers for Nigeria because it either works or it doesn’t, for all of us. 

Thank you Demola for sharing today, most appreciated!

#31Days31Writers: My girl Nana is ready to wing 2016!

Excited about the entry for today, it’s one of my favorite people on this planet, my own Boo Boo Kitty, Nana! Nana is that kind of friend who will love you fiercely and not let you self-combust, who will stand in your corner at her own expense, even to her own detriment! She’s gorgeous (inside and out), and I’m grateful for the gift of her friendship.

That said, this my friend is a little mad. Sigh. As in, hold her or she’s going to put all of us in a pot and set it to boil kinda mad. But we love her, today, tomorrow, everyday!

Hi! I’m Nana, resident in Abuja, and I’m a lawyer (amongst other things I do).

This may just be a good time to talk about my 2015.

2015 started with me happily waving my mum off at the airport to go home to her husband…okay, I love my mum to bits but when you are the only daughter in an Igbo family you know how it is.

So I had told myself that in 2015, I’ll be much more secluded and less nicer to people but you know how New Year resolutions go; I ruined it all by going to church.

I have lived alone all my adult life and I can count how many times I went to Church. I was not an atheist, I was born Christian but I always had this different simplistic ideology about how life should work and it was okay for me but I wanted more so off to Church I went of my own accord and diligently too.

I moved houses around April. I fell deep into depression, I didn’t want to stay alone and so I went to live with my Aunt for a month. It was funny because I always appeared all put together, smiling and going through the motions but I had all these pent up emotions waiting to spill.

Some random day, I walked into the Pastor’s office and spilled a quarter of what was bothering me. I half expected the religious boobooyaya but I didn’t get that so I spilled some more and it felt good.

Sometimes I tell myself that my 2015 began in July. In a sort of way, it did. I had my much-anticipated graduation, went on the holiday of a lifetime with long road trips. At this point, I have to state that I am a horrible companion on trips; I had a modus, which was to drift off in the middle of the gist and pretend to be awake enough not to snore during my sleep and yell “exactly!” when jarred awake. It worked sometimes.

I was not prepared for 2015. I still don’t think I am ready for a year that has 11 days left in it. I will remember 2015 as the year I realised the power of friendship (No kidding, my friends are rubies). I’ve tried to drown so many times and each time I have gotten the pull and the push.

I fell in love in 2015. I was really kidding with #SeizeTheBae2015. Really kidding! I had sexual plans for 2015 and none of it fell within monogamy. Planned a celibate part of the year and a raunchy part to end the 2015 with. With the list of cities I was going to have sex in.

Each time a plan came up, I wonder whose prayers it was (suspecting my mother though) it kept getting knocked off and that was how it happened, unplanned.

I don’t know what 2016 may come with but I have decided to go against planning my life; I’m winging 2016.

To my friends, family and lover, I am grateful for the food, the gists, the time, the hugs, the encouragement, the love, the scolds, the truth and the companionship. I am 99% of an asshole and 1% human. Thanks for seeing just the human.

Me.

She didn’t send a photo but I have like a million photos of the both of us! See her small teeth..

I love you Boo Boo! Thank you for bringing an unplugged honesty to my blog today! By the way silly, you’re more than 1% human jor, shaking my head! Here’s to a 2016 that’s full of love, joy, money (girrrrrrllll….), and fingers crossed, a different country! Yaass! 2016 here we come!

 

These LITTLE foxes – SOMETHING about THE right TOOLS For THE Job

Ok, I’m writing this aboard a Discovery Air flight to Abuja, spent the last few days in Lagos.

As we were taxiing (and I was trying to drown out the voice of the air hostess), I looked out the window and saw one of the ground controllers – the guys with jumbo-sized, orange headphones and neon-colored batons signaling to a plane in the rain, and the rain was really pouring down.

This is what I meant… Photo Credit – gettyimages.com

Made me angry, like really angry.

Why didn’t he have a raincoat on? Is it that his employers don’t know that it rains, or they just don’t care? If this is about saving money, does that compare to the man-hours that will be lost when this guy falls ill/catches his death? How much does a raincoat cost?

So annoying!

Same way I’ve never been impressed with Policemen or traffic wardens doing their duties under the rain. Does it speak to the dedication of the officers? Yes. But, it also speaks to their inability to demand responsibility from leaders/bosses who are clearly irresponsible.

Who sends their child to school without books and a pen/pencil? Who heads to the farm without a hoe, cutlass, etc.? Why do we set our people up to fail?

I’m really ticked off about it because the ‘I-don’t-care’ attitude we show in little things always manifests in the big things, and by that time, too much has been destroyed/affected. As my friend Chude said to one of his staff recently, ‘these little inefficiencies add up and total huge losses’. I totally agree!

How many times in the last few months have we heard that our soldiers stationed especially in the North East are ill-equipped? How can our military that have successfully quelled unrests in other nations suddenly be out-gunned/out-weaponed by insurgents? What with the billions of naira allocated to them each year? How?

Think of it, one person in charge would probably have wiggled out of purchasing weapons over the years because there was relative peace, maybe even ‘redirected’ monies meant for training the officers. So now, they’re falling short.

That’s why you meet some police officers, and it seems like the only skill they have is gauging hoe much you’ve got in your bag so they can beg/greet/cajole it off you.

Ladies and gentlemen, little foxes will always spoil the vine. Always.

 

PS – Dear Lagosians, I don’t know what y’all mean when you crow ‘Fashola/Lagos is working’. How can I need a canoe to move around just because it’s rained? SMH

 

Written on the 25^th of July.