Do you hear what I hear? What’s your body saying?

Hello everyone!

So I’m  having a look at my drafts, and apparently I started trying to write this post in 2014! Sigh! I can be so bad sometimes… Lol! And this was March 2014 o, not even the end of the year! Sigh.

At the time, I noticed a strand of grey hair and if I remember correctly, I was both amused and panicked! I remember thinking, it’s all over, I’m old! Lol! Forgetting that at some point in this my short existence I was so in love with patches of grey, and one of my friends actually dyed her hair white! Loved it but didn’t think it would suit me so I never tried it.

Anyway, with the realisation of aging (lol) come a few other things that I must either take note of or suffer the consequences, and I thought I’d share some of them with you today, and maybe you can share how your bodies have changed as you grow older if you’ve been looking out like me 🙂

Do we do that? Cool!

Acid Reflux has become a thing! Normally I could eat whenever, wherever, whatever and not think about it. I had my first episode of acid reflux in 2014, and while I’m very sure it’s not because I started inching towards 30, I’m sure something about my metabolism and general digestion has changed. By 2015 I had to start carrying a bit of medication around for it, but the biggest help for me has been watching what/when I eat, and avoiding positions (like lying down to eat, lol) that trigger it. So I’m doing ok.

Milk. I know, we’re still on food. So, I grew up on milk, like my parents didn’t spare that at all. I remember being sick as a child and mom mixing malt and milk for me to drink morning, afternoon, and night. Yum! The gorgeous thickness of that drink is a memory that will never go away, and unfortunately remain only a memory. These days, my belly says no to milk. Like, not a maybe or just a little bit, it says no. I disobey that at my own peril. Sigh. I don’t want to grow up!

Sleep. I actually had insomnia between 2012 and 2014, and I remember years before surviving a full week with less than 16 hours sleep (in total) and not feeling anything. Lol, I remember the period in Greenhithe when I couldn’t sleep for like 3 days straight, and my boyfriend at the time got a little weary with my phoning him in the middle of the night to gist because I was awake. Lol! These days though? First two days not sleeping ok might be alright, but anything after that and Chioma the Grump comes out to play. And we don’t like Chioma the Grump…

Confidence. There’s a quiet confidence that comes with facing things you’ve faced before, and most of the things that we go through now we’ve either gone through before, heard/read of someone who’s been in similar circumstances, etc. My point? We’re at the point where ‘there’s nothing new under the sun’ starts to hold proper meaning, and that brings a certain ‘been there done that’ kind of confidence. At least it does that for me.

Decisions. You’re responsible for the decisions you make. Good, bad, with rewards or consequences. You, alone. Gone are the days when you can blame the sun, moon, stars, friends, and even chickens for the wrong steps you take, the foolish moves you make, etc. Not happening any more Boo, everyone (including yourself) is a little less forgiving of the ‘passing the buck’ game.

Friends. I’ve gotten a firm handle of my buddies, best mate(s), friends, acquaintances, and the monitoring spirits. Lol! I said I wasn’t going to but hey, what’s a blog post without some good candour? We all have those friends who are close enough to monitor our progress without contributing more than snarky comments that might sound funny but are actually nasty when  you think of them later. Take a minute, think about it. You have those ones too? We all do! On the other hand I’ve figured out the buddies who can ride through a storm together, the ones who will help you hide a body (figuratively o), who will uphold you with prayer, amen to great friendships and working to keep them in the face of whatever disagreement or provocation!

God is everything. When I was younger and heard things like He’s everything, it didn’t hold as much meaning as it does now, how much I’ve learned about God that shows me I know nothing! Walking with God, stumbling, letting Him hold my hands and lead me has been one of my most defining changes; knowing that Someone so big and great and mighty and awesome loves this little person (me) so fiercely is everything. And that love isn’t conditional, just like I love my niece and nephew fiercely even when they offend me. God is everything.

That’s a few of the things that have changed for me, either regarding perspective or physically. What’s changed for you?

PS: Must do a giveaway soon, haven’t done one since 2014. Sigh. You this Chioma sef.

#ChroniclesFromBonn –Welcome to school, meet the team!

I woke up a bit of in a panic around 4am, and I’ll tell you why.

So I watched an account of the EMAB bomb blast on the 24^th of June the night before, and because our minds process in our unconsciousness the things we expose ourselves to when we are conscious, I didn’t sleep very well.

Hindsight? Was really silly of me to watch that.

I kept on asking myself; what have we become? How have we Nigerians become people who are so inured to the devastation by Boko Haram that we can carry on with our lives like nothing happened? Why isn’t there more outrage about the daily massacre going on in the north? How are we able to just pick up and carry on like nothing happened? Is our resilience a bigger curse than it is a blessing?

Anyway, so I didn’t sleep well. At all. Still had to be up and about though because Joojo (Ghanians are awesome I tell you) had offered to take me to a super market, and because my geography is not of this world, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity of someone taking me there. Breakfast was basic but lovely, and I pretty much had the same thing everyday till I left.

Selfie, anyone? Don’t ask why my head was bent abeg…

Wheat/nut bread, cheese, salami, an egg, and wonderful fruit tea… God is a good God!! #Foodie

 

It was about a 30 minute walk or more but the weather was lovely, and we eventually found Reve, and I was so on point with my shopping!

Told myself I wouldn’t do more than €20 in the store, and my bill came to €19.82. Boss!!

Serious business now.

Our meet with Digital Participation Camp team was slated for 2pm, so by 1.30pm, we all met up in the lobby and started off to Deutsche Welle. We got there ok, and after a few minutes of waiting the session started!

We love our devices!

 

Here’s a bit about everyone in the group and the ‘we’ I will be referring to for most of the trip:

• Ruth Aine is Ugandan, a freelance journalist, multiple award/grant winner, a bit more about the fabulous things she gets up to are here
• Aya Chebbi – She’s a Pan-Africanist, Tunisian blogger at Proudly Tunisian , columnist at openDemocracy and contributor to Foresight for Development – Africa D+C Development and Cooperation and Your Middle East
• Nyi Lynn Seck from Myanmar (Burma), a documentary film maker andProduction Manager at a commercial TV company. He is also a pro blogger and is building something to rival Wiki!
• Jason Muloongo – is a social entrepreneur creating mobile applications for the academic and social development of educators and learners globally. I co-founded Funda and our aim is empower all people through technology by taking learning beyond the classroom.
• Joojo Solomon Cobbinah – Ghanaian, a television news producer, documentary maker and a human rights advocate.
• Abbas Adel – With a team, founded Zabaّtak- ظَبَطّك ياحرامى, a crowd-sourcing initiative for crime and corruption using Ushahidi platform. Then they built the Morsi Meter – مرسي ميتر which tracked the promises of previous Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi in his first 100 days.
• Janusz Hamerski – media trainer and video producer, and one of the brains behindwww.easy-languages.org.
• Momal Mushtaq – Mo is the founder of The Freedom Traveller, an advocacy organization campaigning for (amongst other things), the realization of women’s right to mobility, anywhere in the world. Incredible stuff!
• Maria Nasedkina – Ukranian, founder of (translated to English) ‘Amazing’ which encourages (and works with) young people in her country to respect public spaces, keep them clean and tidy for the next person, great work!
• Carina Schmid- is the manager of a non-profit organization called The Global Experience; a youth media network creating youth media and regularly organizing international school and youth exchange programs, including the Digital Participation Camp & Summit.
• Mathias Haas – multiple award winner, Facebook Guru (was blown away by his knowledge about Facebook)… more about him here
• Salim
• Dominick Schmengler – is the Founder and CEO of department of tomorrow and designer of easyGo – easyCome

Mathias took us on a journey through Facebook, and I daresay it was the most expository/eye-opening/1/2/3 (fill in other adjectives as you please).

Really like this quote!!

That’s Mathias teaching! Hard core!

 

It was a really cool meeting, learning about each other (and the work we’re all involved with), learning about social media, and planning for the opening day of Deutsche Welle’s Global Media Forum!!

Intense learning session over, we went into the Forum arena, and of course, we goofed around. Photos below.

What if we all fell asleep during the conference? Lol!!

P:S – There was two days of training so don’t freak out that I’m wearing two different outfits… 🙂

And there was cake!! Sweet baby Jesus Germans have mastery when it comes to pastry! It was so much!! DW really hosted us…

So DW held a reception for us scholars, and we got to meet quite a few people from different parts of the world! Really cool!

Next post? Opening day!

#31Days31Writers: “Beauty fades but character is enduring” – Rev Dr Craig!

Olamide is one of those friends that I cannot do without. Does he drive me up the wall? Absolutely. Is he one of the closest friends I have on earth today who I can go to with anything and not feel judged or looked down on? Absolutely. Is he one to uphold his friends in prayer, with words of encouragement, with love, and with physical manifestations of that love? Yes Sir!

I love Olamide (lots and lots), and can I say congratulations on your engagement? She’s a gorgeous lady (in and out), and I wish you both all the joy possible.

I give you @RevDrCraig!

A few days ago I got a surprise call from a friend from school I hadn’t seen in many, many years. That call birthed this piece you now read.

This week I met up with that old acquaintance, a lady whose exceptional beauty back in high school made all the boys go gaga.  She was vacationing in the capital and wanted to know if I could show her around. After picking her up at Euston station, we went to Trafalgar Square, London Eye, Westminster Abbey, Madame Tussauds, Westfield Mall, and goofed around like tourists taking pictures of everything and anything that caught our fancy. As we caught up on the 15 years that had gone by, I couldn’t help but wonder where the ‘wow’ factor went. She was still quite good to look at, but the exquisite beauty she once had seemed to have faded away, or at least paled into a less blinding glare. For the first time since I’d known her, I actually saw who she was, talked to her, wasn’t carried away by her looks, and realized that there was more to her than was so obviously apparent. I wondered how many people, like me, had missed out on seeing a wonderful person simply because all we saw was ‘a fine face and a hot body’.

I really enjoyed spending the day with her and as I walked away from the platform at Euston, I pondered at the absurdity of our generation that ubiquitously employs beauty as the foremost yardstick in the selection of a potential mate. This absurdity was first made apparent to me when, after I announced my engagement a few months ago, an associate of mine clapped me jocularly on the back exclaiming, “You’ve done it bro! Congratulations! You have finally found a woman finer than you who has agreed to marry you”. You see, I met my fiancé last year, just when I was coming out of an extended period of deep self-reflection following a string of very bad decisions. For months, I had been acting out of character and ironically chasing after beauty, weaving in and out of fragile relationships with some of the most beautiful women I had ever met; tall, short, curvy, straight, dark and fair. It took falling in love with this one to make it clear to me that the true worth of a woman is vested, not in the beauty of her face, or the curves on her body, but in the depth of her soul.

When pictures of my fiancé and I emerged, the most frequent comments were those praising her beauty and what a beautiful couple we made. One friend asked jokingly, “Did you conduct a beauty pageant and then propose to the winner?” LOL! Sure, most of these comments were made in good faith and were not in the least bit intended to offend nor did it mean that those who made them were shallow or anything of that sort. They were merely commenting on what they saw weren’t they, admiring a beautiful couple that were sure to have a beautiful marriage? Maybe it was all harmless banter, simple admiration, and unveiled praise.

Unfortunately, the reverse might also be the case. I know this because I too was once stuck in that place where deep in my heart I held to a primitive notion that the more beautiful a couple are, the more likely it was that their marriage would succeed. Perhaps the Disney fairy tales of beautiful princesses and handsome princes that ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after had fatally tainted my view of reality?  I know for certain, that a handful of those reading this now also share this view I once held, for it seems to me that the Ovation wedding culture of the past, once the preserve of the super rich has trickled down and has become the BellaNaija wedding culture of today. It is no secret, however, that some of the most celebrated high-profile weddings of the most gorgeous couples do not even last a year!

So to answer Chioma’s question; “What have I learned?”

I have learnt again something that I should never have forgotten. It took talking to a woman whose beauty once mesmerised me to remind me of a truth I used to know; Indeed, Beauty fades but character is enduring.

To all the beautiful girls out there who have character but are only sought after for their looks, I apologize on behalf of all men. But remember, if that’s all you put on the table, then perhaps that’s all we are inclined to see.

My name is Olamide Craig. I am Nigerian.

This is the year… and my tribute to Komla Dumor

I’m horrible with writing about death, but then I guess everyone is, and at some point or the other in life, we will have to do things we’d much rather we didn’t. Even the death of an enemy leaves a sour taste, talk less of a friend, family member, or in this case, someone I really admired and would have been super privileged to meet.

I watched a TedTalk at the end of 2013 Mr. Dumor gave on reporting stories out of Africa, and he should know, he’s been the face of BBC’s Focus on Africa from the inception of the programme in 2012. Everyday. His talk was so funny! Beyond the laughs, I was totally smitten by his confidence, his eyes, alive with excitement and maybe mischief and I was upset when it ended.

I told myself that I would meet him in the New Year, and even though I didn’t immediately have a plan to do that, I purposed to try.

On the evening of the 17^th, I was chatting with a much older friend of mine, and Komla came on. I mentioned I was a massive fan and I wanted to meet him, and this friend said they’d been in the same class at Harvard and sure, he’d facilitate an introduction the next morning. I was super excited, and the only thing that stopped me from insisting on an introduction there and then was the fact that it was a little late, and I was literally on my way home.

And then about midday the next day, I saw on Twitter that Komla Dumor had passed. What??? “Cruel jokers”, I thought, racing to BBC’s website to prove they were wrong. BBC didn’t carry it immediately, but staff were already tweeting condolence messages.

Just like that, he was gone. Aged 41, Komla Dumor passed of a suspected heart attack. One day on TV, gone the next day. The uncertainty that this life is.

I grieved like I had lost a personal friend – because it was yet another reminder that life is short, and we must do whatever we need to do as soon as we can. Grieved all the way to Instagram.

And so today, exactly six months after, somehow I can now write and bid him farewell, hope he’s in a better place, and tell him he was a shining light for us young uns.

More importantly, I pray for God’s great comfort on his family.

Rest in peace Komla Dumor.

Related articles

• Let’s Celebrate the Life of Komla Dumor While We Mourn His Sudden Demise
• Online lecture: Telling the African Story by Komla Dumor
• Celebrating Komla Afeke Dumor – Africa’s Finest Ambassador. #RIPKomlaDumor
• Perspective

Another one bites the dust…

Cory Monteith. Michael Jackson. Whitney Houston. What two things do these names have in common? Fame/wealth. Undisputed access to tons and tons of money, acclaim, all that good stuff.

The second thing is illicit drugs/death. Whatever it is they snorted, smoked, injected or inhaled, it led to their death, and very early too. Cory Monteith was 31, Michael Jackson was 50. Talk about lives being cut short.

Exactly one week ago, when I heard Philip Seymour Hoffman had been found dead on the 2nd of February with a needle still stuck in his arm and heroin (a special type called ‘Ace of Spades’) in packets around him, I was sad, then angry, then sad, and angry all over again.

Sad – he died young, he was just 46. He was very popular too, an Oscar award winner, and recently starred in Hunger Games (which by the way I have never watched and don’t think I will ever see because I don’t like fight fight).

Angry – are there not enough examples to prove that drugs are a sure way to die early?

Sad – heartbroken for his family, his wife/partner and their three young children. His parents, and the stigma of being related to the person ‘who died with a needle in his arm’.

Angry – what on earth made him go back to drugs after 23 years of being drug free? Whatever could have entered him all over again? They say his drugs could have been laced with something else. Ok, but why take them in the first place? Why?

I’m sure I could go the sad and angry route a few more times, but I won’t.

Psychologists say anything you do for 30 days becomes a habit – this man had been drug free for at least 8280 days! Then according to a report I read, he started abusing prescription pills, graduated to heroin, and then on to this substance that took his life.

I chatted with someone recently, and he told me the amount of thanks and gratitude he got because he gave him a $5 tip. 5 dollars. Reports say just weeks ago the now late Seymour withdrew $1200 from an ATM to pay for these drugs. $1200 on drugs when the next man is almost throwing a party because he was gifted 5 bucks.

Here’s another reason why I am angry – a child is attracted by the flickering light of a candle, and they want to touch it. Most times we let them because we know once it hurts them that first time, they most likely will not go back to it again. ‘Most likely’ because children have the attention span of a goldfish! Bless them.

23 years after, did he forget? Did he become so wealthy that he felt that the drugs would ‘fear/respect his money’ and not harm him? What was he thinking? The Bible says that the things that are written are unto us for examples.

Just like I wrote the ‘learn from it, don’t be it‘ post when Cory Monteith died, I’m writing again  – say NO to drugs. Say No, and mean it so much that whoever asked you before will be convinced you are not interested. You shouldn’t even be friends with such people in the first place!

RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Related articles

• Philip Seymour Hoffman Didn’t Have to Die
• I couldn’t agree with this more…
• Hope defeats fear!