Two flights, a singing pilot (not kidding), and a new venture!

So, if you didn’t know already, I am in Nigeria! Good news! Wondering how you will wrap your head around a social media campaign for your cause, idea or business? Holla! Email chioma(at)chiomachuka(dot)com, or tweet @chiomachuka.

You’re welcome to book a social media consultation,  and I’ve got great rates per the hour. Get in touch already!

 

Now, let’s get on to the flights and the chronicle for the day. One of the first things on my plate soon as I came in was a trip to Lagos, and that happened on Monday. When I was booking the tickets, I told myself I wanted to use an airline I had never used before, and somehow I ended up with Medview.

Cost? N19000, probably that high maybe because I booked it on the day; Aero was 19k too). Arik was about 24k for a single, and since I’m not minting money in my room, I decided on Medview.

Flight time was supposed to be 4.30pm but we started boarding at that time, meaning that we took off about 5pm.

Got into Lagos ok, we thank the Lord for safe travels. Lagos was great, working out of Red Media’s offices, planning big things, meeting people I’d known only on social media, I really had a good time!

All good things have an end though, and Wednesday evening was the time appointed for me to return to Abuja. Thanks to all the warnings about traffic, I set off for the airport about 3.30pm (for a 6.45pm flight). Got there about 5.30pm (hallelujah that I heeded the warnings), and I started reading, passing time.

At 6.45pm the first delay (for 25 minutes) was announced and I started berating myself (again) for picking a flight that late. A further 20 minutes delay was announced about 7.25pm. I quietly started making arrangements to spend another night.

Just before 8pm we were called to board, and there was a bit of drama when one passenger threatened to beat up one of the airline officials. Apparently the customer was lamenting the delays and the staff said something like, “am I the pilot?” Of course sentences like ‘do you know who I am’, ‘I can pay your salary’ etc., featured in the argument. Reminded me of a very despicable person I’ve had the misfortune of knowing and I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes.

We boarded and the pre-flight announcements began. Oh wait, not before some lady convinced herself she was going to have my seat, even though my seat was clearly marked ‘window’, and hers was marked ‘aisle’. Of course it didn’t happen. SMH.

The pilot came on and apologized for the delay, citing horrible weather in Abuja. Even though I’d seen tweets telling of the really shitty weather, I still rolled my eyes, and was going to keep rolling them when it hit me that the pilot was singing!

Oh my word! He was actually singing! Something along the lines of, ‘thank you for flying Aero Contractors today, you’re the reason we’re in business, we’re sorry for the delay, may God bless you, la la la la’. It was so cute! I was so amused! And he used the tune of a popular song (can’t remember which) but by the time he was done, we were all laughing and clapping, all the anger forgotten.

Concert done (lol), he mentioned there would be some turbulence as we approached Abuja but it was nothing to worry about, and then said to enjoy the flight.

As I am wont to do, I dozed. Was woken up by the hostess to take my snack pack, and I didn’t wake up again till we touched down. Either there wasn’t any turbulence, the pilots did a good job of maneuvering, or I was just too tired to wake up and notice. Of course God was in charge of the flight (let’s just get that straight).

It’s the first time I’d flown Medview ever, and the first time in a while I flew Aero, but I was so pleasantly surprised by the Aero flight. Shame I didn’t catch the pilot’s name; I would have asked for an autograph. Or even better, a selfie.

*Written on Wednesday the 9th of April

Minding your business

Did you watch ‘Mind Your Language’ when it aired? I did! A bit of a testament to my age but hey, who said I was hiding it? Anyways, MYL is set in a classroom that could pass for a United Nations General Assembly. There were people from different countries/continents in the class, and watching their interactions is the most hilarious bit of my day! Plus there’s always a lesson or the other to learn, however subtle.

I’m playing on that title as I endure two ladies beside me talking about a couple playing with their daughter who can’t be more than 6. They are not Nigerian, matter of fact they look and sound British. One of the ladies says to the other in vernacular “ I’m sure that mother did not breastfeed that girl”.

Haaaaay! How can you tell just by looking at the child whether or not they were breastfed? Is there a squint in their eye, spring (or not) in their step, or isn’t it a clear case of idle minds taken over by gossip?

Anyway, was going to board the flight when I saw I had my sister’s house keys in my bag. To be honest I didn’t even notice; she rang just as I was boarding. Fortunately I found a staff who agreed to take it and pass on to her; by the time I touch down I’ll know if that happened or not.

Let’s come back to an age-old errr…’problem’, for lack of a better word to describe it. Why don’t people like to switch their phones, even when they have been told to? Come to think of it, without being told wouldn’t an adult know when to switch them off? Why wait for the airline staff to come talk to you then you give them the evil eye like you’ve just been apprised that they are behind all your woes? Sigh.

The lady sitting in the row beside mine, after doing a mini photo shoot on her seat Booski and I had a major laugh about (I so blame Instagram), and bullying the hostesses into giving her a full bottle of water (and anyone who knows Arik knows they only do those disposable cups) Madam refused to switch off her phone o. cabin crew had run through the safety procedures, the plane was taxiing, she’d been told by two hostesses (who she all but rolled her eyes at), and she still didn’t switch it off. Then the male attendant came to tell her. She smiled like he’d just told her she’d won the lottery, and then she switched it off. Finally. Shaking my head. Why are females so…never mind.

Before I forget, who was behind the bright idea to cut down all the trees on the way to the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport?  Are we completely deaf to all the ‘save the trees/earth’, ‘plant a tree’, ‘climate change’ campaigns everywhere? What was the aim? Definitely not to beautify the place I hope because sparse and empty as it looks, it can only be likened to the wasteland in the brain of the person who authorized this. Haba!

I would talk about the incessant repairs and additions to the road leading to the airport but I don’t want to annoy myself. Another day abeg.

P:S – This post was written on the 4th of August (one month today), while on board the flight.

P: S1 – thank God for a safe, uneventful trip.

P: S2 – Madam refused to switch off her iPad when it was time to land. Again, she had to be told. I just can’t with some people!

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• God had other plans (ttgboredtodeath.wordpress.com)
• Mind your Language – A sneak peek into my workday! (soulsez.wordpress.com)