#31Days… and a couple writers

Sometimes we plan things and they don’t go as we plan – fact of life. Other times we don’t plan things, and they happen – another fact of life. Any other variations to this statement? Don’t think so. 

I’ve got five voices to grace the blog this month, and I’m most grateful to them for taking the time to chronicle their year for you, my glorious readers. Meanwhile, 2017 has to be better, I must write more! Gosh! I miss it!

We kick off the series with a personal friend of mine, Ehimen. He is dependable, a lover of God, and has the most gorgeous wife! God bless you for writing in Mr Wordsmith!

Appreciating the value of Today while it is today

Many men would rather wear a luxury timepiece on their wrists than wear their emotions on their sleeves, especially if those emotions are powerful enough to make them cry. Well, I’ve learned to do both and as someone jocularly noted recently, look well put together while at it. He was referring to the fact that I cried at my own wedding –an occasion for which I was suitably attired, complete with a finely-crafted wristwatch peeking out from under the sleeve of my tuxedo- but I somehow managed to avoid the pictures of me crying going viral, unlike another gentleman who also got married in 2016 and cried like a baby at his wedding.

Why did I cry at my wedding? It wasn’t only because of the profundity of starting to learn the awesome mystery that marriage is, nor was it only because my wife is the walking exemplar of the word “beautiful”. It wasn’t only because my entire lifetime flashed before me in an instant and I was grateful to GOD for the many times He saved me from death. It wasn’t only because I remembered my father who died when I was nine-and-a-half years old and left me in a world where I was told (a bit too early) to “be a man for your younger ones”. Those are small contributors to the whole truth. The whole truth is at that time, my body, soul and spirit sent commands to my eyes to produce tears and I didn’t know how to not yield. I am human.

Men who shy away from being emotional often miss the privilege of having Father Time and Mother Nature tell them what time it is better than any man-made time-telling device ever can. I received a sobering reminder of this truth just a few days before I composed this. The routine of everyday life had stealthily crept into my marriage. You see, “the two shall become one” promise of marriage doesn’t happen instantaneously and can take gruelling work. My wife and I were just sheathing our swords from killing a giant marauder so the lovey-dovey “I love you’s” weren’t being exchanged with the gusto we started off with. I hadn’t done anything major to honour her in public in a long time, which was counter to what I’d learned that good women deserve. I subscribe to this truth King Lemuel’s mother told him about virtuous women:

“Her husband brags about her and says, “There are many good women but you are the best!” Give her the reward she deserves. Praise her in public for what she has done.”

A few nights ago I tiptoed out of bed and went to post on Facebook in appreciation of my wife. If I pulled it off right, it would almost be the equivalent of sending her flowers at work. By the time she saw my post, it was past noon and I wasn’t even at home. However, her appreciation of my romantic effort was muted as we found out that morning that someone very close to us had just died. While my wife was in tears and my mouth was agape in shock, I realized that at the very same time that I was putting up a picture and celebrating my wife on Facebook, we lost someone dear who we’d been procrastinating calling to appreciate. In fact, as I was rifling through the pictures on my computer to pick the one I eventually used to celebrate my wife, I saw some pictures of the now deceased and was contemplating sending them to her, not knowing she had just left this world. Every like and comment we got on that Facebook post was a jarring reminder to love each other and make the most of every moment as we’re not promised the next.

So to those who hide their love and appreciation of others while waiting for the perfect time, this is your wake-up call. Don’t just add this lesson to your “New Year Resolutions for 2017” list; start it now! One thing I’m deliberately doing right now is pouring out my heart into all that I do so that I can be the best version of myself while I have the time to do so. I’m working on a project aimed at reducing the impact of hate speech online and offline in Nigeria so that as a nation we don’t repeat the mistakes that led to the horrific genocide that happened in Rwanda in 1994. That’s my way of showing love to people and helping them stay alive to love others.

A sad thing it is when the sun sets on our lives and those of our loved ones because we failed to seize the day while it was day.

Thank you for writing in Peter, here’s to a fabulous holiday and an ever greater new year!

 

OFFICE PEOPLE

I’ve been working for a little over seven years now, and honestly? Every day is different; new staff, new challenge, new achievement, every day is different. I’ve been excited at some jobs, I’ve been tortured at others (not literally of course), and for some others I’ve counted down till it was time to move on.

Recently I started a short-term consultancy at a government commission, doing New Media stuff (which I do very well by the way). One of the first things I noticed in the first few days I spent there was that the civil service is (with all due respect) a place where creativity is slaughtered, roasted, and then eaten. Bureaucracy holds the knife, ‘memos and minutes’ roast, while the humans eat.

I remember asking the head of one of the units on a Tuesday evening to get something done for me by the next day, and he agreed. The next day I asked, ‘where’s the deliverable I asked for’ and he said, ‘I didn’t know you meant this tomorrow’. What! Is there any other definition of ‘tomorrow’ besides Wednesday coming after Tuesday? *sighs*

Very quickly, I’ll run you through seven classes of people you’ll find in an office; drawing from some people I’ve met in my short working life. Who knows, I might just mirror you! Ready?

1. SID THE SLOTH – if you watched the ‘Ice Age’ trilogy you should be giggling by now and if you haven’t, you definitely can sort out the definition of ‘sloth’. Lazy! Indolent! Lethargic! Sluggish! Won’t lift a finger even if the organization’s existence depended on it! How did they get the job? Dunno, could be from the ‘quota system’ business, or even worse, the HR manager obeying ‘orders from above’. Either way double (or even triple) sigh! Especially since most times, sloths are in sensitive positions so you’ll always need them!

SLOTH!

2. MR (or MRS) KNOW-IT-ALL – yes, this class. So I’ll give it to them, they are right 96% of the time. My issue is the haughtiness, the puffed up shoulders and the absolute disregard for the thoughts and opinions from everyone else. These are the ones you pray will make a mistake (don’t even act like that hasn’t been you praying that prayer sometime). And you know the best part of their day? When they rub it in your face that they were right (and you were, well…….slightly off the mark) about something, in front of the boss of course.

When even God knows you know it all…..

3. TIMEKEEPER – people in this class are great. They are polite, do their work well, function ok in a team, can work with little or no supervision, are outgoing and have a great personality. By the way if what you’re reading is a paragraph in your CV, sweetheart it needs redoing! One catch about these guys though; they won’t lift a finger before the start of work or a minute after official working hours. Why? The company isn’t paying for their time then. Simple as that.

4. THE FOOLISH – another cadre of the ‘I-only-got-this-job-as-a-favour-to-my-dad’ people, they give definition to the Ecclesiastes 10:15 “the labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to the city”. Now, these guys want to help, they always seem to have ideas et al, but they are always wrong! It just feels like everything they touch turns into a disaster! Have you caught yourself hiding stuff (an idea/implementation strategy) from a co-worker because you just know they’ll ruin it? And it’s not out of spite, or because they just want to make everyone’s job difficult, they are just ……… (put in the first word that came to your mind)!

No comment…

5. ZEUS – Boss. God. That one you fear. Definitely not your peer/colleague. The one all of you strive to please; the one who has a say on the renewal of your contract. That one. Enough said.

6. THE IDEAL – this person is all that and a bag of chips (and a coke too, if you like coke). They are helpful, warm, happy to go above and beyond to get the job done, come in early, leave late kind of people. They’re always smiling, courteous; I could go on and on and on. And yes, they’ve won ‘staff of the month’ every month you’ve been there. Everyone loves them (even you….sometimes).

What my former boss would call a ‘two star general’

7. YOU – describe yourself in the comments section; feel free to incorporate all or some of the classes, as long as you’re honest!

P:S – Originally posted on Nikky The HR Agony Aunt’s blog, this is one of the guest posts I’ve done. Follow @chiomachuka on Twitter so you don’t miss out on any more ‘free guest post’ offers!!

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