#BringBackOurGirls – Why you should join the march tomorrow

I don’t live in Borno. Never been either, and the two people I know from there, are resident in Abuja. I have friends who live in/around Nyanya though. The blast on the 14th? Could have been any one of them but that’s not the point.

The 200+ girls missing from Government Girls’ Secondary School Chibok have parents, brothers, sisters, maybe even boyfriends and/or husbands who are looking for them, who are distraught because not only is our military not sure how many girls were taken in the first place, they seem to be clueless on how to get them back.

The sheer inequality in the way disasters are handled in this country is the reason why I’m joining a peaceful march tomorrow. The parents are alone, no empathy or visit from our leaders, no words of comfort, nothing that says, ‘we feel your pain”. Nothing.

The 28th of April (yesterday) made it two weeks since these girls were snatched from their dormitories (Lord only knows why the school wasn’t shut down like all the others but let’s not go there) and we don’t know where they are – if they are still alive, what horrors they must have been exposed to – how many of them have been sold, raped, beaten, used for rituals, we do not know.

As someone on Twitter said yesterday, “two weeks, over 200 girls, no tampons, toothbrushes or change of lingerie” – disgraceful. Even more disgraceful is that there is no sense of urgency with the way this disaster is being handled. A meeting of all the joint chiefs and governors that degenerated into a “we invited them but they didn’t come” vs a “we weren’t invited” argument? Really? We’re playing politics with lives?

I speak to my folks at least three times a week (AT LEAST), and no, I am not an only child. I must salute the courage, the resilience, and the ability to absorb pain that the parents of these girls have shown cos I know mine would have passed on from the trauma. What would your parents do if they didn’t know where you were? For two weeks? And it didn’t look like anyone was seriously looking for you?

If you’re in Abuja, please join us tomorrow at the Unity Fountain (opposite the Hilton) as we march to The Presidency to respectfully ask that someone find the balls to bring our girls back.

Time is 3pm – 8pm (please ask today for permission to close early tomorrow). We’re wearing red in solidarity (but please wear whatever you’re comfortable in).

At some point, we need to go past the comforts of ranting on Facebook and Twitter, and put actions where our keypads are.
Youth are the leaders of tomorrow? Well 200+ of them are missing.

See you tomorrow.

#BringBackOurGirls

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• 200 girls are missing in Nigeria – so why doesn’t anybody care?
• Parents desperately search for 230 abducted Nigerian schoolgirls

“I learnt to let go and forgive” – Onaedo!! #31days31writers

Onaedo is special. Special because I don’t know if I ever tweeted her before I made the call on Twitter about the #31days31writers project. But I made the call, and she said she was up for it, and she was actually one of the first to send her entry in, so thank you babes! Twitter made real! (Well not completely, yet)

I loved her article, has such an honesty to it I can relate to every word! I would ask why she did the change of name but hey, why don’t you get done reading first? For the 11th day of this project, I present the beautiful Onaedo!!

My name is Olayinka (I have adopted the name, Onaedo), I am a Nigerian, a (non-practicing) Lawyer, veering into Administration and HR, blogging (still a learner) (blog.asoroko.com, oloriola.blogspot.com) and a host of other things that are still in the works.

Writing about my 2013 could take up all your time to read, so I’ll  just stick with the basics and shoot, starting with what I learnt this year.

What did I learn? Well, a whole lot, but the most important one to me is that which I learnt of myself. I learnt, shockingly, that I still had a lot of suppressed anger and resentment to deal with. Not what you might have been expecting? Sorry, but honesty they say, is the best policy.

The good thing though is, I learnt to release them. I learnt to let go and forgive. I realize that people are not perfect and if they knew better, they would do better. I realize that, maybe, that was the best they had to offer at the time and I have made my peace with that. Instead of paying lip service to forgiving and letting go, I actually did and am still doing; forgiveness is a continuous process. Who am I to demand what people can not give when I am less than perfect too? Besides, all those clichés you heard about forgiveness are true, I am a living witness, (somebody shout Hosanna!).

I have learnt, again, to be more at peace with myself and worry less. There have been bouts of feelings of helplessness and a loss of faith, but they have been fleeting too. Right now, I have Peace, Faith and Hope immeasurably and it would be an absolute no-no to trade those for anything in the world.

What I am most grateful for, amongst other things, is life, my family and my friends. I know people who I didn’t think would just leave like that, but they did. A terrible reminder of how fickle and precarious life is, so I am grateful I am still here, with the ones I love and who love me. I realize that nothing is real but love after all, (you should listen to ‘Nothing’s Real But Love’ by Rebecca Ferguson; it’s a beautiful but earnest reminder of the essence of time and love).

To what I would do differently if I could; it’s to have loved more, to have given more and to have been more committed to my purpose, (I have quite a few of ‘would have, could have, should have-s’ but this is top on the list). I have loads of excuses for falling short, but I know, at the end of the day, they are just that; excuses.

Above all, I am (still and always) learning, growing, evolving, yet, being me in the process. My essence, what makes me ‘me’, is what I would not lose.

PS  – I am still not excited about Christmas, I think I need help! Help me please; somebody, anybody!

Wow… I just love her haircut!! Wonder if I’ll ever be able to pluck the courage to do this!