“I learnt to let go and forgive” – Onaedo!! #31days31writers

Onaedo is special. Special because I don’t know if I ever tweeted her before I made the call on Twitter about the #31days31writers project. But I made the call, and she said she was up for it, and she was actually one of the first to send her entry in, so thank you babes! Twitter made real! (Well not completely, yet)

I loved her article, has such an honesty to it I can relate to every word! I would ask why she did the change of name but hey, why don’t you get done reading first? For the 11th day of this project, I present the beautiful Onaedo!!

My name is Olayinka (I have adopted the name, Onaedo), I am a Nigerian, a (non-practicing) Lawyer, veering into Administration and HR, blogging (still a learner) (blog.asoroko.com, oloriola.blogspot.com) and a host of other things that are still in the works.

Writing about my 2013 could take up all your time to read, so I’ll  just stick with the basics and shoot, starting with what I learnt this year.

What did I learn? Well, a whole lot, but the most important one to me is that which I learnt of myself. I learnt, shockingly, that I still had a lot of suppressed anger and resentment to deal with. Not what you might have been expecting? Sorry, but honesty they say, is the best policy.

The good thing though is, I learnt to release them. I learnt to let go and forgive. I realize that people are not perfect and if they knew better, they would do better. I realize that, maybe, that was the best they had to offer at the time and I have made my peace with that. Instead of paying lip service to forgiving and letting go, I actually did and am still doing; forgiveness is a continuous process. Who am I to demand what people can not give when I am less than perfect too? Besides, all those clichés you heard about forgiveness are true, I am a living witness, (somebody shout Hosanna!).

I have learnt, again, to be more at peace with myself and worry less. There have been bouts of feelings of helplessness and a loss of faith, but they have been fleeting too. Right now, I have Peace, Faith and Hope immeasurably and it would be an absolute no-no to trade those for anything in the world.

What I am most grateful for, amongst other things, is life, my family and my friends. I know people who I didn’t think would just leave like that, but they did. A terrible reminder of how fickle and precarious life is, so I am grateful I am still here, with the ones I love and who love me. I realize that nothing is real but love after all, (you should listen to ‘Nothing’s Real But Love’ by Rebecca Ferguson; it’s a beautiful but earnest reminder of the essence of time and love).

To what I would do differently if I could; it’s to have loved more, to have given more and to have been more committed to my purpose, (I have quite a few of ‘would have, could have, should have-s’ but this is top on the list). I have loads of excuses for falling short, but I know, at the end of the day, they are just that; excuses.

Above all, I am (still and always) learning, growing, evolving, yet, being me in the process. My essence, what makes me ‘me’, is what I would not lose.

PS  – I am still not excited about Christmas, I think I need help! Help me please; somebody, anybody!

Wow… I just love her haircut!! Wonder if I’ll ever be able to pluck the courage to do this!